17/02/2024
This is well worth a read for both our horse and human relationships
I heard a great quote the other day that I've been thinking a lot about lately. "The most honest person in the room is the problem child".
When it comes to horses, they are naturally designed to be good liars. From a prey perspective, they're supposed to lie to predators about their physical and mental weaknesses, because their very survival depends upon it.
"Good" horses are good liars. They're stoic about physical ailments, they tolerate mistakes, and they can perform their duties without needing to be heard by their human handler, or requiring a lot of skill from a rider. These are horses we value a lot in our equestrian society, and they're great for many reasons.
Problem horses are very bad liars. They cannot just go on with life when they are hurt, or upset, or feeling like their needs are not acknowledged or met.
They either find somebody who understands that, or they are sent to a trainer who's main job is to teach them to learn to SUPPRESS this urge to constantly communicate their emotions and needs, effectively becoming better liars. Some horses can learn this, but the ones that cannot are labelled permanent problems, and often find themselves shuffled around.
But what happens if we begin to value communication over compliance? What if we prioritize the relationship before our egos, and trust before our human goals?
We can all agree that we would prefer to be in a meaningful human relationship that ivalues empathy to a different perspective/reality. Why wouldn't we consciously cultivate the same relationships with our equine partners? Would that not be beneficial for everyone?
The next time you find yourself making a binary judgement about your horse's behavior, pause for a moment instead and consider the root cause of it. What are they trying to communicate? How can you help meet their needs and build trust instead of prioritizing your ego in that moment and demanding compliance because you've arbitrarily decided you deserve it?