21/07/2025
Recently I came across yet another post that fails to understand the basic science behind horse training.
“Confusing Emotion with Permission
A horse isn’t a dog, and even dogs need structure. But horses? Horses are flight animals. Horses are herd animals. They’re hardwired to look for leadership. And if they don’t find it in you, they’ll either fill that role themselves — which never ends well — or they’ll become anxious, reactive, or even dangerous. Either way, they’re not thriving, they’re surviving.“
Horses are not looking for a “Leader” and dominance theory doesn’t actually hold up on a scientific basis. A lot of these types of posts come in with preaching kindness and empathy BUT… and then almost always following that statement with contradictory beliefs on how being kind is actually cruel or wrong.
I believe that a lot of dominance based training actually has its roots in the patriarchal society we live in. The idea everything is black and white you are either a “Leader” or a “Follower” and that horses can only experience the world in terms of black and white is simply wrong.
When that gets related back to the idea of respect ( a concept that horses do not have the brain anatomy to conceptualize in the first place) it creates not only this sense of entitlement to the horse from the human perspective- it also blinds you to the truths of equine behaviour. That horses simply do what FEELS right in any given situation.
“A horse that’s allowed to “opt out” of work when it doesn’t feel like it isn’t a happy horse. It’s a confused horse. A horse that’s allowed to drag its handler, rush the gate, balk at obstacles, or call the shots under saddle isn’t empowered — it’s insecure. It’s operating without a plan, without leadership, and without trust in its rider”
There’s always this fear that when you allow horses a choice - they won’t choose you. And often in these posts I find people who prey upon this fear. Why? Because they know their horses won’t choose to work with them. Because they don’t actually have a choice and this type of thinking is then used to justify harsher and harsher training methods. It’s important to remember these types of people often belive the horse ‘owes’ them absolute obedience at any given moment.
Does giving your horse a choice in training automatically make any accomplishments worthless? I’ll be the first to admit getting a ‘no’ from your horse is humbling.
However; Giving my horse a choice to work with me has actually been an incredible eye opener to what my horse is feeling and being able to respond appropriately.
Does that mean he always gets a choice? No. He still has to get his yearly shots, teeth and feet done - but there’s no need to punish him for every little “disobedience” when that tells me to look deeper then ‘oh he’s just like that’ or ‘he’s being disrespectful!’ And actually get to the bottom of unwanted behaviour.
Your horse knows you aren’t a horse. This anthropomorphic view of horses needs to stop. Training your horse with kindness, empathy, or gentler methods doesn’t automatically make your horse:
- lazy
- Disrespectful
- Rude
- Pushy
- Lack manners
- Lack boundaries
- Aggressive
- Spooky
- Unsafe
I could go on. It’s ironic that I’ve found most of those traits in horses that do not get any choices in their training. Horses lacking in autonomy are often the ones that fly off the handle or shut down rather than be fully present for training/riding.
I want my horses to think for themselves and I want to be able to be aware of what they are thinking in feeling rather than demanding absolute control and obedience from them. Shockingly my horses will say ‘Yes!’ To even the most complex and difficult of tasks.
And that’s all without having to justify to myself ‘the ugly parts of horse training’ when my horse continues to choose to work with me because I am offering true friendship and leadership by caring for the horses emotional landscape.
A good leader isn’t a dictator.
