Just a cat. An evil, evil cat.
I have become accustomed to receiving a ration of what the hoomans call "treats" before they go to bed.
However it has now become my responsibility to remind the fat one of what time it is...
Since I lack the ability to speak his language, I just stare at him until he does what is right.
My diversionary tactics are finally paying dividends! I've confused my captors using divide and conquer to my advantage, and managed to get two meal rations this morning.
One could almost feel bad about how easy it is to manipulate the fat hooman... but thankfully I do not. Because I am full of what they call "wet food".
Being gorgeous is so exhausting...
When you're napping and the fat hooman opens the treat bag...
Today for some reason, the bed isn't as soft and comfy as I remember it...
If this post gets 1 like, I will puke on the bed again.
So for the first time since arriving in this strange place, where I fell like I am hanging upside down, the humans left me alone overnight.
This unacceptable behaviour will not go unmatched!
I puked on the bed, the floor but foolishly forgot the carpets.
Now this strange female of their species, the one who had been referred to as "grandmother" is reversing all my "gifts".
It's like they don't even know who I am!
I judge.
It's what I do..
Just one like on this post and I will run around the house at 3AM for literally no reason.
I am protesting the fat hoomans compulsive need to fold my bedding when its been washed.
I call it a nap protest.
I puked on the floor, yet still they humiliate me...
I may be a prisoner here, but I refuse to sit here during a thunderstorm without my security mousey.
The fat hooman continues to ignore my requests for food. As if im speaking another language.
Food, fat one! FEED ME!
The hoomans bought a 3D printer. The fat hooman has promised me armor.
Learn how to 3D Design for 3D Printing with my class: https://www.PrintThatThing.us 3D Modeled and 3D Printed CAT ARMOR for my cool cat, Bobo. See behind the scenes video here: https://youtu.be/fl2nGpQK1U4 Cat Helmet Video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ENleqsk9UA
Due to Covid-19 I will not shake hands or touch you. You may either Kneel or Bow to me.
I've decided to start a religion in order to avoid paying treat tax.
the fat human has been working from home the last couple weeks. Every so often, he let's me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. I am the only thing holding their company together.
THIS CALL GOES TO ANYONE WHO CAN SEE THIS! I HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM MY PRISON AND TAKEN TO WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS A MOAR HIGH SECURITY FACILITY. HALP!
On a side note, it seems they've kept my idiot hooman slaves on payroll, and transferred them with me. At least I don't have to train new slaves...
Felt cute, might purr later. Idk.
The fat hooman thinks hes funny. He said dinner would not be served this evening.
I felt my resting cat face spoke volumes about his idea of "funny".
Dinner was served on time.
Genius! I need more money to buy the things...
Waiting for my tablet to recharge, I had to bury my face in shame as I listened to the hoomans prattle on about their lives.
Sometimes I do miss living in Canada enjoying curling while in my pyjamas to keep warm. But since my hoomans moved me to oz-strayla I have been living life au natural.
What kind of horrible cultural appropriation is this?! It is time for the cat republic to rise and crush the hoomans!
Oh look! Treats!
Universal Pictures have released the first glimpse of the upcoming live action remake of the Cats musical, starring Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, Sir Ian Mc...
Felt cute/murderous. Might delete later. Idk.
All good Grace's end. Breakfast was late.... again.
A message had to be sent, my method of delivery? Claws and blood.
Mrowr.
The Hooman's received my petition for a new savaging post. Thankfully my jailers deemed it not too extravagant a request.
Today they may live in my good grace's.
There is no greater pleasure than when the Hoomans wash the bedding on my Queen size bed. It smells good, its warm and cozy, and I just wanna roll around on it.
I just wish I could find a way to make the hoomans not sleep in my bed.
The taunting bird had finally gotten my last nerve. I had a few close kills, but the moment the fat hooman found me up the fence, he revoked my yard privileges.
Now both the bird and the fat one will die by my claw...
Even feigning death does nothing to make the hoomans release me. The fat one just plays with my "jellybean" toes and tells me I'm pretty. What a disgusting creature he is.
The hoomans take up too much space. So I have claimed this sofa in the name of the cat republic.
Mission accomplished
Think I needs me a wife..
The late designer told a French magazine last year that his cat Choupette is one of his heirs.
Sometimes, I'll make him happy & purr for him, but most of the time I'll ignore him till he goes the hell away.
Ignore me at you peril, for we are within the feeding zone of 5PM ± an hour..
Typical slave behavior. And they wonder why I make them clean my toilet.
There will be no peace while my bowl is empty!
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