05/12/2025
This, every day for 16 years. My house is a disaster (sometimes I get to clean between the soft snores of my furry besties).
This is the best advice I can give for "fixing" or preventing problem behaviors.
Be there. Spend time. Recognize your dog ***this second***. (IT doens't have to last long--most times 20-30 seconds and you can get back to your hustle, your groceries, but they need to know you ***see*** them NOW).
I broke a heart last Tuesday. It didnât happen in a courtroom, or during a fight with my husband, or on a cold phone call with a bill collector.
It happened in my kitchen. And the heart I broke belonged to the only soul on this earth who has never, not once, judged me.
My name is Sarah. Iâm 52 years old, living in the suburbs just outside of Chicago. Like so many of us right now, I am tired. Iâm part of that "sandwich generation"âworrying about my aging parents, worrying about my kids trying to survive this economy, and trying to keep my own head above water in a corporate job that demands 24/7 availability.
My days are measured in Zoom notifications, rising gas prices, and the constant, low-level anxiety that hums in the background of American life right now. We are a culture obsessed with speed. We are addicted to "next." Next meeting, next paycheck, next weekend.
And then, there is Rusty.
Rusty is my Golden Retriever mix. He is fourteen years old. In human years, he is nearly a centenarian.
His hips are stiff. His coat, once a burning autumnal red, is now the color of sugar-dust and snow. He sleeps twenty hours a day. When he walks, his nails click rhythmically against the hardwood floorsâa slow, syncopated ticking clock that reminds me time is running out.
He used to be a blur of motion. When the kids were in high school, heâd meet me at the door with a vertical leap that could clear a fence. He was chaos and joy wrapped in fur.
Now, when I turn the key in the lock, there is no jumping. There is just a slow, heavy thump from the living room rug. He lifts his heavy head. His cloudy eyes find mine. He waits for me to come to him.
Last Tuesday, it was raining. A cold, miserable Midwestern rain. I was wrestling with three bags of groceriesâwhich, thanks to inflation, had cost me nearly $200 despite containing very little. My phone was buzzing in my pocket. My boss was asking for a file I thought Iâd sent an hour ago.
I kicked the door shut behind me, water dripping down my neck, my stress levels red-lining.
I turned toward the counter, and there he was. Rusty.
He had gotten up to greet me. He was standing directly in my path, his tail giving a low, slow wag. Thump. Thump. Thump.
He just wanted to say hello. He just wanted to smell the rain on my coat.
But I almost tripped over him. The milk jug slipped in my hand. The phone buzzed again.
And I snapped.
âRusty, move! God, get out of the way! Not now!â
The words came out sharper than a knife.
He didn't run. He didn't cower. Heâs too old for that, and he trusts me too much. instead, he just... stopped.
He froze mid-step. His ears, soft as velvet, pinned back slightly. His tail stopped moving. He looked at me with those deep, brown, soulful eyes, and the confusion in them crushed me.
He wasn't scared. He was heartbroken.
It was a look that said: I just wanted to be near you. Why is that wrong?
The silence in the kitchen was louder than any scream.
In that split second, the facade of my "busy, important American life" crumbled.
I dropped the bags on the counter. I ignored the buzzing phone. I looked at this creature who has been with me through two presidencies, one divorce, three job changes, and my youngest son leaving for college.
I looked at his gray muzzle. I looked at the way his back legs trembled slightly from the effort of just standing there to greet me.
I realized something terrifying: He wasn't "in the way." I was.
I was in the way of the only thing that actually matters.
We Americans are so proud of our hustle. We wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor. But my dog? He doesn't care about my 401k. He doesn't care if the house is messy. He doesn't care about my title or how many likes I get on a photo.
He just wants me.
I sank to my knees on the cold kitchen floor, right there in my wet coat.
"I'm sorry, buddy," I whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
Rusty didn't hold a grudge. Humans hold grudges; we stew in our anger for days. Dogs forgive before the apology is even finished.
He took one stiff step forward and leaned his entire weight against me. He rested his heavy chin on my shoulder and let out a long, warm sigh. It was a sound of pure contentment. He was absorbing my stress, taking my bad day and neutralizing it with nothing but his presence.
That night, as the rain turned to snow outside, I sat awake and made a new vow. A vow that has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions or career goals.
I realized that Rusty lives in a time zone I have forgotten. He lives in the Now.
He doesn't save his love for the weekend. He doesn't wait until his schedule clears up to be happy to see me. For him, every single second I am in the room is the best second of his life.
So, I made a list. Not a grocery list, but a Life List for the time we have left:
When he nudges my hand while Iâm typing: I will stop. The email can wait 30 seconds. His need for a touch cannot.
When he sniffs the same blade of grass for five minutes: I won't tug the leash. I won't check my watch. I will stand there and let him read the news of the neighborhood. He is reading the world in a way I will never understand.
When he falls asleep on my foot: I will not move. Even if my leg falls asleep. Even if I need a refill on my coffee. I will be his anchor.
When he looks at me: I will look back. Fully. Not over the top of my smartphone. Not while glancing at the TV. I will look into those eyes that have watched me age, and I will let him know he is seen.
We often think we take care of dogs. We feed them, we pay their vet bills, we buy them beds.
But the truth is, they take care of us.
They anchor us to the earth when the modern world tries to blow us away. They remind us that loyalty isn't a contract; it's a heartbeat.
One day, probably sooner than I want to admit, the clicking of those nails on the floor will stop. One day, the rug by the door will be flat and clean. One day, I will come home with groceries, and the house will be perfectly, devastatingly quiet.
And I know, with absolute certainty, that I would give every dollar in my bank account just to trip over him one more time.
The Lesson:
If you are lucky enough to have a dog waiting for you at home tonight, or a cat purring on the sofa, please listen to me.
Put down the phone. Forget the news cycle for an hour. Ignore the mess in the kitchen.
Get down on the floor with them.
In a world that is constantly screaming at us to be faster, richer, and betterâour dogs are quietly whispering the only truth that matters:
You are here. I am here. And that is enough.
Their time is short. But their love? Itâs the only thing in this life that is truly forever.
Don't wait until they're gone to realize they were the best part of your day.
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