04/04/2024
Have you ever just come to the abrupt realization that you don't see anything the same anymore?
The two year old that you once would have approved of starting under saddle now looks like an incredibly immature baby that you can't imagine asking to carry a load.
Physical issues that lead to training and performance issues you no longer view as the problem but perhaps the solution to the actual problem.
All of the things you would have considered behavioral issues you can now see as the balance issues that they are. You no longer want to address the behavior but instead the reason for the behavior.
You are no longer fooled by words. Anyone can say anything about their training and approach...but the horse will tell you a lot about whether the words match the action, if you're educated enough to see it. Some things are debatable...other things definitely aren't.
You now recognize that you are a nervous system and your horse is a nervous system...and that the priority is to keep you upright and alive. That matters, A LOT.
You recognize that developing a horse is an endeavor that takes years. YEARS. Years of a lot of time and a lot of commitment. There's truly no substitute.
You also realize that getting here has meant admitting that there were times when you were wrong. That there were times when you did harm with the best of your intentions. That you had to walk away from circles of people whose beliefs and approach no longer lined up with what you now know...or maybe they walked away from you? Either way, it's hard to stand alone sometimes.
You realize you've had to become a beginner a thousand times over...and you'll continue to find yourself in that spot a thousand more times in the future, plus some. Maybe even at some point today.
You realize that even when it feels like you haven't grown at all...you actually have. That growth is something to be proud of, no matter where you're at on your journey.
- Terra
