27/01/2024
What are your deal breakers?
When we invite a dog into our lives whether a fostered dog or adopted dog or a purchased puppy or a private rehome things may not turn out the way we hoped it would.
Do you have a deal breaker?
Do you have something that you will absolutely not cope with or accept?
If you do, whatever that is, let the rescue, breeder or current guardian know.
If you will not accept, tolerate or cope with a dog that barks excessively, toilets in the house, cannot be walked off lead, growls, nips or bites it is best to be clear about this.
We may think we can cope with these things, we may not think we will have to experience them or we may think it won't be too bad or difficult.
Once the dog arrives, when we then have a lived experience of what this type of behaviour feels like and the consequences it can be a whole different ball game.
Yes, some dogs may settle and in time, with patience, empathy, support and compassion many things can be improved when we put the dog front and centre.
What putting our dog front and centre means can be a super stretch on our physical and emotional resources.
Buyers remorse and pet regret can be very common place.
We may discover that dog guardianship is much more than we bargained for.
29% of new dog guardians regretted their decision (Forbes Advisor).
Regrets can include feeling restricted, not wanting to walk the dog, struggling to have a holiday, sourcing day care and boarding, the cost of insurance, cost of food and vet care (insurance doesn't always cover all costs).
The decision to invite a dog into our home can be influenced by our aspirations of enjoying a life with a companion, going on long walks, meeting up with other dog friends and going our for a pub lunch.
When our dog isn't able to do these things it can be a big disappointment.
Our dogs are often live up to 15 years old. That is a long time to live with a dog that we cannot do the things we planned to do with them and a lot of expense and time.
Yes we can develop and improve skills and behaviours. Yes we can improve toileting, barking, pulling on the lead, nipping, rough play, recall and more.
The question is whether we have the time, motivation and resources that our dogs need from us and to think this through before deciding on becoming a dog guardian.
Even the most dedicated, dog centred, committed people can struggle when their dogs behaviour and the reality of living with a dog in general. Problems can crop up right away or happen unexpectedly at a later stage.
There is no doubt that our desire and perception of guardianship is well intentioned most of the time but the reality can be anything from disappointing to devastating when things become a challenge.
Consider your deal breakers, shine a spotlight on them, take time to do an honest appraisal of what you can and cannot cope with and a worst case scenario.
Breeding is in abundance, rescues are bursting at the seams and we can make a difference to the welfare and well being of so many dogs.
Homes do break down, some dogs are resilient, many experience abandonment and trauma, some dogs go from home to home and some pay dearly.
Before we offer a home to a dog, we must be selfless and consider the dog first and that includes the joy and companionship, connection and all the good things as well as well as the challenges and the difficult stuff.
