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17/03/2025
My Thoughts on the Trend: A Real Talk
The other night, while I was in my usual routine—cleaning the kitchen, feeding my sourdough starter before bed—Peter casually looked at me and said, “You’re a tradwife.”
I blinked at him, kind of confused. Tradwife? Huh? That’s not a term I’ve really come across. I’m not much of a trend-follower, influencer-watcher, or social media ju**ie. Peter, on the other hand, loves to stay up to date on everything. He’s my news filter and usually keeps me informed on what matters. I won’t lie, I tend to keep my head down and focus on my little world because, frankly, the larger world feels chaotic and exhausting sometimes. My mental health comes first, and keeping up with trends is the least of my worries.
But that word stuck with me, so I looked it up.
The more I read, the more I had this weird mix of emotions. First, I was intrigued. Then, I felt a little thrown off. Honestly, it kind of messed with my head for a moment.
Here’s why:
The women who proudly wave the flag—posting their spotless kitchens, perfectly dressed children, magazine-worthy meals, and beautifully decorated homes—they are glorifying things women have done for generations. And while there's nothing wrong with celebrating homemaking, the way it’s portrayed online feels... incomplete. Unrealistic, even.
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 90% of my four kids' lives. I’ve done the diapers, the scraped knees, the sleepless nights, the budgeting nightmares, the days when the house is a disaster and I’m just too tired to care. I’ve worked from home, built my own business, AND I help with my brother’s company. I wear a lot of hats, like so many moms do.
So, when I scroll through these “tradwife” posts, I’m seeing this highly curated version of the life I’ve been living, but without any of the real, raw, hard parts shown.
Where’s the mental exhaustion?
Where’s the pile of laundry you shoved off camera?
Where’s the moment where you lock yourself in the bathroom just to breathe for five minutes without someone needing you?
This job—staying home, raising kids, managing a household—is grossly underappreciated, often invisible, and really freaking hard.
What worries me most is how these perfect portrayals might affect women watching them. Millions of moms, wives, women look at these posts and think, “Why can’t I keep up?”
And I’ve been there—feeling like maybe I’m falling short because my house isn't Pinterest-worthy, or I forgot to make a home-cooked meal after a long day juggling a dozen things.
Let me be real for a second:
I don’t have a spotless house.
I don't serve gourmet meals every night.
I don't look like a 1950s housewife when I’m scrubbing toilets or breaking up sibling fights.
And honestly, not everyone can afford to be a stay-at-home parent in today’s world! That’s one of the biggest unrealistic expectations I see in the trend. Unless there’s a solid income, outside help, or let’s face it—family money—most families NEED two incomes to survive. That’s just the reality of where we’re at economically.
I grew up in a low-income household with conservative roots, so self-sufficiency and stretching a dollar were everyday life. Being a stay-at-home mom often means tight budgets, sacrifices, and doing without. That’s something I rarely see talked about in these trendy posts.
Instead, we see the pretty part: the sourdough bread, the matching outfits, the flower arrangements—not the stress, the sleepless nights worrying about bills, or the isolation that can come with this role.
Now, I do think there’s something really valuable about preserving traditional skills—baking, sewing, gardening—all of that. I’ve personally found joy in those things. In fact, my hobbies eventually turned into a business that helps support my family. I love that part. But it’s not what makes someone a good mom or partner. You don’t need a spotless house and picture-perfect meals to be providing a healthy, loving life for your family.
And frankly, I think more women need to hear that.
Here’s what I want to say to anyone feeling the pressure of these tradwife images:
It’s okay if your house is messy.
It’s okay if you don’t have the time (or energy) to bake bread from scratch.
It’s okay if you work outside the home, or inside, or both.
It’s okay if you’re just doing the best you can.
Being a mom, a wife, a homemaker—none of it comes with a manual or an aesthetic requirement. Your value isn’t in how Instagram-worthy your life looks, but in the love, stability, and care you give every single day, even when no one sees it.
So, sure, maybe in some ways I check the "tradwife" boxes—but I’m also here to show you the unfiltered version, the hard parts, the beautifully messy reality. And I think that’s just as important.
https://greenmountainrose.com/blogs/greenmountainrose/the-truth-about-the-tradwife-trend-my-honest-thoughts-as-a-stay-at-home-mom
, Stay-at-Home Mom, Motherhood, Mental Health, Homemaking, Real Life Parenting, Traditional Wife, Family Life, Self Sufficiency, Work-Life Balance, Mom Life, Parenting Truths
