Paws and Reflect

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Paws and Reflect

🚐 Full-time travel with a sensitive heeler
💭 Emotions, fulfillment, training, nuance
(3)

05/02/2024

Finishing my Paws and Reflect book draft is officially at the top of my priority list (which means it needs to be ahead of Instagram). I’ve been circling around this for a while (too long) — thanks to some recent reading & conversations with Sean, it’s time to make a few more changes!

It’s not that I don’t still value this platform, or that I don’t LOVE connecting with you and your dogs. I do!! But I have never wanted to focus on something so much as I want to focus on writing this book. It’s been my dream… but I’m afraid I haven’t been giving it proper dream treatment.

I think scaling back on social media will help me save my capacity for deeper, long-form writing — and “store up” thoughts to fully contemplate (rather than halfway talking about a topic in a story share, meeting my initial impulse to address it, and then forgetting to spend greater time reflecting).

Sooo all this to say I’ll be spottier interacting here. (I’ve been cutting down my social media use since moving into the van, so maybe it won’t be that drastic of a change, but felt worth giving a heads up so as to not be a total ghost!). I do still have some drafted posts I want to share and am sure other tidbits will come up as time goes on, so I’ll definitely still be online from time to time. Just trying to be increasingly intentional about how much of my day is spent looking at my phone when there is so much else to do.

Thank you thank you thank you for talking dogs and life with me. And for loving Scout.

Now go play with your dog if you’re able!!

03/02/2024

What Scout perceives… versus what I perceive

Sometimes I have it in my head that something should go a certain way, but the dog in front of me feels differently.

Like, I assume a certain situation shouldn’t be a big deal compared to all the other things we’ve accomplished together. Or vice versa, I assume it *should* be a big deal. But then when I actually pay attention to Scout’s behavior & body language I might realize she’s experiencing it totally differently — feeling something I didn’t expect.

Just because I understand that a new dog won’t try to get in her face doesn’t mean she knows it. Just because I realize the loud sound we’re hearing is the neighbor’s new harmless thingamajig doesn’t mean she does. Just because I conceptualize a novel park as very similar to other ones we’ve visited doesn’t mean it feels the same to her. Etc etc etc.

Living with a dog is a constant exercise in empathy, I think, if we let it be. And that’s been a really lovely thing 💛

31/01/2024

Taking Scout on adventures is one of my favorite things. I’m so thankful we get to enjoy this great big world together — but we don’t bring our heeler *every* place we go.

It’s important to respect the space we’re in, consider our current mental + physical capacities, and ask what the result of a given outing would be. (Tons of fun? a bit of discomfort that would make life better in the long run? or just not worth it?)

I don’t bring out this flowchart for every single decision since it’s often an intuitive process. But thinking about these questions has been really helpful when I’m struggling to decide if Scout should tag along or not!

A brief overview of my thoughts on “everywhere dogs” over time:

• My goal used to be to have an everywhere dog because it felt like that’s how I could “prove” I was a good enough owner and that Scout was a good dog. Now my biggest focus is on creating the life that is most fulfilling for us both as a team, whatever that looks like.

• There are plenty of mildly uncomfortable situations where Scout’s joy at spending time with her humans outweighs any negativity. There are also environments, though, where she would truly prefer to just stay in the van.

• We absolutely push her limits sometimes in the name of growth (and because every relationship has some give and take!) but on the whole I want to spend our time together in ways we both love.

• Some environments are just a straight no-go for us. Others depend on our mood and if we want a challenge. There’s nothing wrong with making different decisions in different moments.

• Just because we “can” doesn’t mean we “should”.

Does your dog enjoy being out and about with you in public? How do you decide whether to bring them along?

30/01/2024

When Sean was looking for new jobs in our second year of dating (before we ever lived together) and evaluating places he could move, I said I’d be happy to go just about anywhere with him — except that I didn’t really see myself “living in like, Florida”.

Joke was on me, huh? 😂

We spent three years in the sunshine state from spring 2020 to early 2023 when we hit the road in Hermes the van.

While we’ll always be Wisconsinites at heart, I think — our bright childhood days and long college nights imprinted deeply — I’m surprised at how right it feels to be back in Florida for a while.

There are obvious issues, of course, especially politically. And if you don’t like swamps. (I never felt more like Shrek than in the years we spent on the space coast.)

But traveling around so much in the past 12 months has made me more confident than ever that I LOVE the beach. Possibly more than any other landscape, and I say that as someone who hiked mountains in Alaska and marveled over red rock formations out west. Plus my surgery-recovering dry eyes are thrilled about the humidity. And it’s easy to feel cooped up in the van when it’s cold outside — we were way less active in December and the first part of January — so waking up to 50+ degrees and the ability to comfortably lift weights outside is delightful 😍

Scout, for her part, seems to easily remember how to be a Florida dog. There are lizards to chase and shorebirds to stalk and sunbeams to sleep in and familiar patios to visit.

Here’s to nostalgia. And having as many homes as feels right.

28/01/2024

The other day I found myself making a “Scout training timeline” — basically just a big list of roughly when, and loosely in what order, I taught her different things.

I’m sure I’m not remembering everything perfectly. But it satisfied my itch to reminisce and that was the goal!

I initially got interested in dog training, way back before Scout with my family’s husky, because of ego. Genuine curiosity, too — I loved dogs, I wanted to do cool things with them! — but quite a bit of desire to feel “good enough” and get some validation from a community I looked up to.

Then I got deeper into dog training with Scout out of necessity. We were not living a mutually enjoyable life together at first (as much as I wanted to feel like we were). She was really struggling with her fear reactivity… and *I* was really struggling with my human end of things.

So once we reached a point where our shared day-in and day-out was pretty good? Well, it makes perfect sense to me that the list of “new commands / cues / skills we learned each year” dwindled and dwindled to where 2023 was a great big “nothing we hadn’t done before”.

It’s not that we don’t still enjoy training together. (I stand by the belief that every interaction with our dogs is training, technically, or rather that living together is synonymous with learning together.) And it’s not that we’ve stopped growing completely. (That would be a sad day!)

But I think maybe I was a bit fatigued of some of the nitty-gritty technical training stuff after it occupying so much space, physical and mental, for so long? And I also realized that my biggest interests are a bit broader. I love watching trick videos and cheering for our friends in dog sports, for example — but for me personally those things aren’t compelling goals. I want to read about social species overall and nerd out over theory and most importantly just move seamlessly through my days with this delightful dog.

Here’s to looking back, and looking forward, and embracing that every dog/owner/lifestyle can look different, and loving what we’ve done together — what we still do together — even as things change over time 💛

27/01/2024

Happy anniversary to Hermes the yellow home on wheels! 🎉

Yesterday marked one year of full-time van life. And we are not tired of it at all!

You can plan ahead and do your best to prepare… but sometimes the real test is just “doing the thing” and seeing how it feels. I am over the moon that we guessed correctly when we figured living on the road would be a good fit for all three of us.

Here’s to never “settling down” 😉

(And a huge thanks to for taking this photo of us last fall. It’s perfect.)

17/01/2024

“And how should we behave during this Apocalypse? We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. But we should also stop being so serious. Jokes help a lot. And get a dog, if you don’t already have one.”
— Kurt Vonnegut, Armageddon in Retrospect

I am actually not a believer that everyone should have a dog BUT still found this passage touching. And love that Sean captured me and my girl doing what we might do best.

💛

15/01/2024

I was a tracking fiend last year 📊👩🏼‍💻

Over the summer I converted my haphazard list of spots we’ve parked the van into a detailed spreadsheet (which can easily be uploaded to Google My Maps so I can zoom out to see where we’ve been).

The data visualization bug hit me hard after that — a few weeks later I got excited to turn my 2023 reading log into a more detailed table, then I figured I might as well update Scout’s medical history document, and I added a comprehensive “van maintenance” tab to our overnight stay spreadsheet too.

Tracking things has been a mixed bag for me in the past. I have a tendency to get obsessive in ways that aren’t always healthy. But it’s also SO satisfying — and motivating! — to see everything laid out.

I’ve learned that I just need to be thoughtful about what I decide to track in the first place and self-aware enough to notice early if I’m getting too fixated on a specific metric.

I especially love being able to easily calculate percents and averages from spreadsheets. It’s interesting to see how often we sleep on remote public land vs in chain store parking lots, for example, or how often I give books five stars.

Are you a tracker? What are your favorite ways to log things?

10/01/2024

Sometimes you just have to build a snowman sitting on top of a snowman ☃️

One of my favorite things about Sean (that has been heavily encouraged by Scout’s presence in our lives) is feeling like silliness is always on the table. After he finished a work meeting yesterday I announced that we should go play in the snow and then make hot chocolate… so we did just that.

I think we’re all ready for some warmer weather (and to be on the road just the three of us again, back to our normal) but it’s been wonderful to see loved ones AND get some childhood-nostalgia-fueled winter time!

(Spot Scout’s in the background… something to tug with is never far out of reach if she has anything to say about it 😂)

09/01/2024

When we were at my parents’ last week, Scout and my family’s husky Snort got into a small scuffle.

Everyone is okay! No physical harm. There doesn’t seem to be much mental fallout either.

But it was hard.

I talked with a few friends but didn’t feel like sharing publicly right away. Usually I enjoy processing stuff here, but sometimes the reality is that we need our own room to work through things. And that’s authentic too.

This was the first time Scout and Snort have come into direct contact except when they briefly met each other at the shelter before I adopted Scout (pre dog attack that turned her nervousness into full-blown fear reactivity).

They’re both delightful creatures, but their particular brands of weirdness are not compatible. Snort can be intense and has had scuffles in the past. Scout is timid and awkward. While they’ve gone on plenty of neutral walks together, interaction has never been a priority (in part because they’re also my two favorite dogs in the entire world and I knew any fight between them would wreck me emotionally).

After years of very successful family visits, we had a miscommunication where my dad came outside with Snort while Scout was with us in the yard. It happened quickly and I didn’t have a great view, but the short of it was that they ran up to each other, there was some growling and barking, Sean called Scout away, and then I cried super hard.

I am SO happy with Scout’s training progress — how far we’ve come as a team, the things we get to do together — and in the immediate aftermath I was overwhelmed worrying it would be undone. Earlier in our journey a single off-leash dog incident could shake our confidence for months. And yeah, I know we’re more resilient now, but try telling my heart (and stomach) that when I’m still full of adrenaline.

So I wallowed for the evening. The next morning we walked the dogs together to try to reset. Snort wasn’t affected at all; Scout was more nervous than usual but way better than I thought. Then we threw ourselves into time with friends in our old college town.

More thoughts to put together at some point, but for now: Stuff happens. Life is messy. We get through it.

06/01/2024

Our house, (parked) in the middle of the street 🎵

It’s always special to bring Scout back to Madison. We lived here when I first adopted her — Sean a senior at UW, me freshly graduated, Scout unsure about her new life, none of us realizing how close of a family we’d become.

We built our training foundation on these sidewalks.

It’s kind of magical to walk them together nearly five years later. (In no small part because Scout now has loose-leash skills and is confident enough to explore, sniff, and pass other dogs without trouble, phew!)

So much comes back to me each time we’re in our favorite city. Memories of first meeting Sean through friends years before we started dating (even more years before I knew Scout existed). Long loud fun nights with some groundbreaking people who made me feel really loved. Sad hard stressful ones, too. Building a snowman in front of my college house and sledding on stolen lunch trays. Trying to figure out who I was!

Seeing Scout at my hometown’s shelter on a family Christmas visit. Walking her up to my apartment building for the first time, heart breaking at her cower and full hackles. Our first hike. The first time she reacted at another dog. Having no idea how to play with her. Wanting so badly for Sean to turn into a dog person and love her like I did.

All these moments, big and small, are tied so deeply to this place. They, and it, helped make me who I am.

They, and it, still do.

And it’s even better to visit at this point in our lives — with our van, with more confidence, with older-but-somehow-fresher eyes. Always Badgers, always Forward ❤️

04/01/2024

What does it mean if your dog “does well” with something?

My personal definition is that Scout both 1) behaves in a way I like and 2) feels pretty comfortable in a given situation. (It’s possible to have one of those without the other.)

If she shut down when we filed her nails, for example, I wouldn’t say she did well even if her physical stillness appeared nice from the outside. Same if she walks in heel but is visibly anxious scanning the environment more than usual. Or if she doesn’t “react” to another dog with vocalizations but is really tense. And so on.

I’ve had some moments recently where I’ve realized how different my connotations can be from others’. Like, when I come inside and tell Sean “Scout did not do well seeing the neighbor’s dogs at the end of the yard” he knows what I mean: She was more scared than I’d like her to be. But a stranger listening in might have visions of her barking or lunging or something more extreme. When I say “she didn’t do well alone in the van longer than usual” I mean she was a bit amped up when I came back. But someone else might hear that as “she was whining” or “she destroyed something inside”. You get the gist.

Point is: We all have different personal standards — plus different ways of using the same words!

And it can be so helpful to define terms in conversations or give/ask for a little more detail, especially if we feel prone to the comparison game (and the insecurity it sometimes causes) 💛

30/12/2023

Sometimes I feel like I’ve done so much reflecting on life with Scout that there’s nothing new to say.

Then I remember the value in retracing old footsteps. Feeling how the grooves have changed just a bit. Catching ideas in slightly different lighting.

A lot of my “core beliefs” about dog training have been solid for years now. It’s hard to imagine drastically changing my take on fulfillment, having our companions’ backs, the importance of play, or critical thought overall.

But there IS always always always something fresh to consider, some nuance to add, some conversation to enjoy.

And I can forget that even if I’ve said something before, chances are it’s buried in deep in years of writing — some posts much more focused & thoughtful than others — and if the idea keeps coming up? Then hey it probably *is* worth reiterating! 😉

All this to say that Paws and Reflect seems to look different every year, but my place to ramble about life with dogs is certainly not going away any time soon. Thanks for being part of it. 💛

30/12/2023

It is impossible to narrow down our favorite adventures this year — something I realize we are so so so lucky to be able to say — but here are a few memories where I 1) actually took a photo and 2) felt capital-A Alive with Scout and Sean.

1) Our first van life snow in Nebraska ❄️
2) Dispersed camping in Utah 🏜️
3) Sunrise at Coral Pink Sand Dunes ⛅️
4) First light along the Grand Canyon 🐦‍⬛
5) Open air sunset in New Mexico 🌵
6) The best kind of “feeling blue” in Alaska 🏔️
7) Reading about birds in Banff National Park 🌊
8) Space to ourselves in Wyoming 🌻
9) Camping at my childhood spot 🚐
10) Conquering NYC 🏙️

(Note that this post is absolutely a highlight reel — I can also recount many times we felt capital-S Stressed instead 😂 but the end of the year makes me sappy.)

28/12/2023

If you’ve ever…

• Raised your voice at a friend bothering you
• Warned your sibling to stop poking or teasing you
• Vocalized when surprised by touch you weren’t expecting
• Said “ouch” or “hey!” when someone bumped, stepped on, or otherwise hurt you
• Reacted in dozens of similar ways to discomfort

Then you can understand why a dog might growl. And why — considering the context, lifestyle, and relationships at hand of course — it not always a capital-B Big deal.

Sincerely,
I Accidentally Stepped on Scout’s Tail and She Yelp-Growled Before Looking to Reconcile, Which Was a Perfectly Valid Reaction

26/12/2023

Scout is a sweet (albeit awkward) creature across the board. If you’ve been around her, you’ve seen it… but probably not like Sean and I have. She’s a slow burn.

And it is such an honor to get her *sweetest* moments. The ones that come with full trust, that speak of sure safety, that inspire big boldness. The ones that still make me tear up a little.

I feel this sentiment all over again every time we’re around friends and family. She’s an easy neutral dog, able to coexist with anyone who doesn’t smother her, but she seeks *us* out vehemently. And I melt always.

💛

20/12/2023

House call vet reflections: I don’t think we’ll be heading back to a traditional clinic waiting room any time soon!

Scout’s not a fan of being poked and prodded. Her annual exam back in 2020 went well — I was so proud of her change in confidence from the previous year when we’d first adopted her — but then she started having seizures. Her epilepsy resulted in a few capital-S Stressful emergency visits plus lots of bloodwork that set us back... not to mention 1) she was already timid by default in unfamiliar environments and 2) there were other dogs in an often-tight space.

So the vet quickly became a source of anxiety for both of us.

While we developed a nice plan — last year’s annual in Florida was no big deal — I wanted to see if we could optimize further when we moved into the van. Then I read The Other Family Doctor by Karen Fine and it confirmed that I wanted to try a house call approach.

I was not disappointed!

We chose a vet in my hometown since we visit family here pretty regularly:

• Scout, Sean, and I played outside in my parents’ yard just before they arrived. We did the exam inside the vet’s converted RV parked in the driveway. Enough room to maneuver but free of distractions! (They’d also have come inside if that was better for us.)

• I’ve never felt so heard, respected, and trusted by an animal professional. We got to restrain Scout and give her oral vaccine ourselves since she’ll accept all handling from me and Sean (but gets more stressed around strangers she has no rapport with).

• I turned into the 🥹 emoji when our new vet repeatedly said “I can tell you’re really in tune with her” because goshdarnit my attention to & advocacy for Scout is one of the things I’m most proud of. And that validation was really lovely.

• Although Scout likes the car, it was nice to be able to play in an environment she knows well immediately after the exam without any travel required. I think it helped her recovery time.

All in all feeling really lucky this option was available to us. And thankful this cattle dog is still healthy (albeit showing her age more and more).

18/12/2023

👋🏼 We’re back! Sort of, anyway. It’s been a week since my eyes got successfully lasered in the name of no longer being legally blind without glasses or contacts. I’m slowly easing into screen time and catching up on work, messages, and the rest of the digital world.

Swipe for my favorite recent photos 💛 and a few highlights below!

• Some of my family got sick last weekend, so after my surgery we sequestered ourselves in the northwoods. Better to park in an isolated forest clearing rather than my parents’ driveway if we wouldn’t get to visit anyway!

• We thrive, just the three of us, on public land. I felt so charged up recovering in our cozy van home. My resting heart rate plummeted, we leisurely explored, Scout capital-L Loved the smells... and it was a nice opportunity to lean into the fact that we are animals too. It is winter in the northern hemisphere. Reduced “productivity” (and earlier bedtimes!) make perfect sense.

• I listened to my first two audiobooks. Turns out I’m not a big fan — I’d much rather read and pace it all myself — but they were a nice option when I mostly had to keep my eyes closed. If I count those, my 2023 book total is 115 in a record fiction year. I’ve got a lengthy nonfiction animal-related TBR to get to!

• I also enjoyed some dog-focused podcasts a bit again. I used to regularly listen to a handful but really fizzled out in the last year or so. Clive Wynne on Drinking From the Toilet and David Mech on TWC sucked me right back in. Lots of dominance thoughts to come.

• And we recorded another little episode of our own podcast, which continues to be very informal, low-fi, and just fun chatting dog stuff with Sean.

• Scout had a house call veterinary appointment this morning. It went well. More on that later when I’m less tired.

Go play with your dog for me if you’re able 💛

07/12/2023

Non-dog update that will ultimately improve Scout’s life too: I get to have corrective vision surgery!!

I’ve been hoping for this for YEARS. I thought it was off the table after a few consults last fall (yay for irregular corneas) but decided to get a second opinion because I couldn’t give up hope. And here we are!

I won’t be able to look at screens or books for a little while afterward but once I’m recovered I’ll be able to go on runs without contacts, and take Scout out for her bedtime bathroom breaks without fumbling for glasses first, and sip hot coffee without foggy lenses, and save money in the long run not having to replace my eyewear, and so many other incredibly exciting things (especially living in a van now). I don’t remember ever waking up in the morning and just being able to SEE the world around me.

I do run a little anxious when it comes to medical stuff, so I’ve been applying some of the same strategies that I use with Scout’s fear & sensitivity to myself:

• mostly meeting basic needs (nutrition, sleep, exercise) and prioritizing fulfillment so I’ve got the capacity for challenges

• then also remembering how much generalized bravery I’ve built (read: I am tough!) and trusting my cost-benefit analysis.

Anyway… send me your favorite podcast / other listening recommendations? Dog-related or otherwise! My procedure is Monday the 11th and it's going to be haaard to not read or do much writing.

03/12/2023

The most special snowy morning with my pup and my niece 🥹

I’m a big proponent of being risk averse with dog-kid interactions. Today was perfect: Olive was bundled up to near immobility so we didn’t have to worry about unpredictable movements. (Scout’s neutral to kids but gets startled by stuff she perceives as weird. Small humans do lots of weird things.)

I even accidentally ran the sled into Scout at one point and she just jumped right back into tug. That, my friends, is why we build confidence through play!! Because when mishaps happen (inevitable sometimes) my dog just thinks it’s a strategy I'm using to win the game and not something to worry about.

Plus when we practice cooperating in high arousal states — an inherent part of play-centered training — I don’t have to worry about keeping Scout calm in order to keep her under control. She can be free, bouncing and sprinting and fighting for her toy, and still not pose a risk to the tiny human because I know I can ask her to tone it down or follow a command if needed.

I am just overflowing with joy. To see Scout so happy, hear Olive giggling at the playful puppy, share a moment like this with both of them at once… I melted. My weirdo sensitive dog and my perfect baby niece. Two of the greatest creatures to ever live.

💛

02/12/2023

Happy December! 🎄⛄️☕️

Here's a look back at November, which absolutely flew by (although I feel like I say that *every* month... so maybe this is just how life works at this point and I need to get used to it 😂)

A few highlights:
• We fell in love with New York City. My favorite part was a three-way tie between meeting up with several fellow dog lovers, eating SO much good food, and finding an overnight parking spot where we could see the Statue of Liberty from our kitchen. That view really reminded me why we were so excited for the flexibility of van life in the first place!

• The Smithsonian Natural History Museum and National Mall area of Washington DC — followed by a brief forest reprieve in the last of the autumn leaves — were a relaxing break after NYC’s crowded chaos.

• We’ve since been bouncing around our home state of Wisconsin getting to see family and friends. I’m thrilled with how we’ve balanced our time between humans-only activities, Scout-focused fulfillment, and relaxation for everyone.

• Our first real taste of winter van life was incredible up in a snowy national forest. So. Cozy.

• I also finalized some Paws and Reflect apparel! More info in our Shirts story highlight if you're interested.

And a note on van logistics:
• We've been able to use friends' and families' resources off and on for the last couple weeks, so we've gone through our tanks a lot less. We do still dump our grey and p*e basically every chance we get (even when not completely full).

• I prefer to still sleep in the van when we're visiting loved ones — it's my own bed in my own house, it's great to return to that familiarity at night — but you bet I take advantage of unlimited hot water rinses 😋

More ramblings at pawsandreflect.blog as usual. And as always, here for any questions about dog stuff or van stuff or general life stuff!

30/11/2023

Latest journal-entry-turned-blog post 💛

I’ve talked about the legislative intent of leash laws and general public respect a lot lot lot before, so I won’t ramble too much more here. You’re welcome 🤪 (Our Leash Laws Instagram story highlight & guide plus the Public Behavior category on our blog compile some more thoughts!)

In short: Always cheering hard for everyone trying to both fulfill their dogs and be kind to those around us.

🏷

29/11/2023

Can a pet dog be retired?

Because I kinda feel like Scout is retired nowadays.

We still do a bunch of stuff together, but very little of it is nitty-gritty training work. We adventure where and when we feel like it. My expectations are in some ways lower than they’ve ever been. (Still high standards compared to many pets I think, but much more relaxed than when I used to insist on some elusive definition of “perfect”.)

Way back in our first year together, I had visions of “fixing” everything that needed repair (primarily her feelings about & reactions to other dogs) and polishing up the rest (polite behavior in public, etc) and then crossing over this obvious line into being “finished training my dog”.

And then our life would really begin, you know?

I quickly realized this wasn’t the way to think about things. Training and growth are ongoing. But the perception still permeated a bunch of what we did, and I think it’s really only been in the most recent half of our time together that I’ve fully broken away from that.

And let myself just feel happy.

Part of it is logistical, of course. Like, there ARE things Scout needs to be able to do to live well with us! And we had to work really really hard to achieve some of them. No doubt it's easier to relax when we have those necessities covered.

But a huge part of it has just been my own mental and emotional shift. It’s like I kept edging in the right direction for months and months and months, almost writing my way there, filling journals, reflecting on the right things, but never being fully able to FEEL the peace I wanted.

And then it came.

Contentment.

Is it because this cattle dog is noticeably getting older? Because living in a van gives us more flexibility than ever? Because I’ve just gotten tired of some parts of the dog training world? Because I’m lazier than I used to be? Honestly I don’t know. And I don’t need to.

Because what I am sure of is how much I love this creature and how much she seems to love me back. And we don't constantly need to work work work to be worthy of what we share.

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I love you Haley ❤️

When we had our first foster (from late April to early June) Sean and I got decided to paint both dogs in the house (our resident cattle dog Scout and bully breed mix foster Val). We took our current foster puppies on a socialization outing this evening and I got a cute picture of Mystic looking at the camera. Sean said it looked like a good picture to paint from… so here we are! A new tradition is officially born. I’m not sure how many more fosters we will have before we embark on full time van life in early 2023, but I love having these silly handmade memories to look back on. Who did it better? 😉😂😍

Meet our second and third fosters, eight-week-old Arlo (male, tan + white) and Mystic (female, black + white)! These two littermates just came into our local shelter and needed a place to crash for a couple weeks. Sean gets Husband Of The Year: at 3:50 pm I asked him how he’d feel about taking in two puppies, and by 5:50 these wiggly noddles were in our backyard 😂 So far they’re both delightful. Bold (borderline fearless), energetic, in love with each other (we’ll take steps to prevent littermate syndrome but for now are happy they’re sharing comfort in a new place), clumsy, just too cute to be real. Scout’s wary but doing as well or maybe a little better than I expected. She’s agitated (fair, we just brought two squeaky little alien creatures into her home) but curious. We’ll take things slowly on the introduction front — top priority is simply making sure every creature in our home feels safe and fulfilled. All three dogs have barked off and on but the puppies show no nervousness about Scout’s noises, and our cattle gal is self regulating nicely when they cry. For now we’re knee deep in classic puppy stuff. These babies have had a lot of chaos in their first two months of life, so we hope to provide some stability and foundational skills: • Play of course! • Potty training • Crate training • Handling / grooming • Safe socialization outings They’ll be available for adoption on August 3rd. If you know anyone near Florida’s space coast looking for a new addition, let me know! In the meantime: Here’s to the puppy joy. And rest in peace my sleep schedule 😂

This week’s #WackyTrainingWednesday has me looking like an absolute weirdo on our street. You’re welcome, neighbors 😂😁 Ever since daylight saving time ended and it’s gotten dark earlier, Scout’s been a bit more on edge when hearing noises from outside our house. She’s always alert barked some, and I don’t feel any need to fully eliminate it since 1) it’s her instinct and 2) she reliably catches herself and goes to a safe spot (either her crate or dog bed) on her own. At the same time, I decided to make a point to play more frequently out front, especially in the morning and evening when light is feeble. I don’t mind natural cattle dog territoriality so long as she’ll listen to me, but I *do* want to make sure she’s as comfortable as possible on our home turf — and extra exposure to our neighbors’ movements / sounds / bikes passing by / leaves blowing in the dark / etc. is never a bad thing! I sort of attempted to not look like myself by hiding under a hood and baseball cap, going for a fast-moving startle attempt 😂 I think we should have tried when it was a little darker and maybe next time I’ll carry keys to jangle or make some other sort of noise, since she simply did not care that I was there. After I stopped filming because I ran out of ideas to be weird, our diagonal-across-the-street neighbors came out to work on their boat, which was perfect. Scout observed curiously and returned to the game on her own without being a nosy neighbor 😁 I have noticed a significant increase in her comfort in our front living area after the sun sets in the past few days. There are always confounding variables: Is it that she’s just adjusted to the earlier darkness? Has she simply gotten used to us having the windows open more regularly now that it’s cooler? Is the more focused play really working wonders? Either way — I’m happy. And she seems to be too. And there is no such thing as embarrassment when it comes to trying to make

We’ve been slacking on our #WackyTrainingWednesday shenanigans… oops. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve done so many weird things that they just feel normal now (I truly do not think twice about performing the chicken dance in public in the name of proofing my dog’s obedience 😂) or if I’ve been putting too much pressure on ourselves to always think of something totally new? While we still goof off plenty day to day, coordinating an official mid-week activity has fallen by the wayside. But we dove back into it! Here I am in the newest fall fashion: footie pajamas accessorized with an assortment of plastic bags 😂 Scout sometimes gets weirded out by trash or flags blowing in the wind, and she’s still quite spatially sensitive. We did something similar to this once before where I had bags only on my legs and rewarded with food — it was nice to play instead and see how she felt! All in all pleased and had a blast. How are you being wacky and having fun and developing your dog’s life skills this week? 😁

Some contrafreeloading and hand feeding thoughts today 😋 Last week I gave Scout a cup of kibble (just placed it on the floor) before we filmed Wacky Wednesday and left for yoga. She usually gets it in a puzzle feeder, but we were short on time. Sean said she pushed it around a little before eating, joking that “she doesn’t see the point if she can’t play with her food first” 😂 He wasn’t wrong. Our cattle dog definitely enjoys overcoming some sort of resistance to earn her meals — and she isn’t alone! This is a concept called “contrafreeloading”. Animal psychologist Glen Jensen described it as “when an animal is offered a choice between free food or identical food that requires effort, and prefers the food that requires effort." We’ve tested it many times. If we set down both an open bowl and puzzle with the same type of food, Scout always chooses the puzzle first. For a while, contrafreeloading was one of the reasons I had her earn all of her food from me through hand feeding. It’s in her nature to overcome resistance for sustenance (which ties back to the “fight” aspect of the predatory sequence). But as time has gone on, I’ve thought more about *where* exactly that resistance comes from. I absolutely want to honor the fact that it’s satisfying for my dog to work for her meals — but I don’t want to always be the cause of that pressure myself. Which is why I love that things like snuffle mats / puzzle feeders / other enrichment have allowed us to honor contrafreeloading without making our relationship feel transactional! We do still use food in training (and there is a lot of nuance in terms of what “hand feeding” means to different people in different contexts). We just try to be conscious about avoiding constant leverage or undue pressure. As always, there’s no hard-and-fast “right” or “wrong” — but this has been fascinating to think about. I love seeing Scout continue to grow as I continue to l

On this week’s episode of #WackyTrainingWednesday, Sean pretended to be a rogue cattle on the park trail. The whole thing was a bit poorly executed on the human end (yay for my shaky POV filming 😂) but Scout as per usual put up with our shenanigans beautifully. It was largely nonsense, but it did actually let us work on a few skills: • Scout dealing with one of us going out of sight and being able to keep attention on the one who stayed behind • We can never practice middle too much! • Middle into a down while I step forward to handle a situation (child running up, off-leash dog, etc.) is a great real world skill My favorite two parts were when Sean had to put the makeshift long-line lasso around his body himself (😂😂) and when Scout immediately wanted to play after greeting Sean-the-cattle when I released her from her down. I love this little family. How are you being wacky today?!

A minute of our short tug session this evening after a lazy day at home. That’s my bold little cattle dog! It took a long time to build Scout up to where she’d fight through things like me grabbing her head, neck, and feet. I will never forget the first time I tried to gently touch her throat — she not only immediately let go of the toy but was also hesitant to reengage at all. Oops. But oh, how far away that feels tonight! She’s pushing through more and more of my strategies to win lately, which means it’s getting increasingly difficult for me to gain possession. That makes the game feel real and evenly matched and FUN 😁 and I continue to notice her environmental confidence grow as she plays with us in more and more new places. What’s your favorite way to play? (And an unrelated but important PS: Yesterday I took Scout out in my favorite yellow sundress… and today I trained with her in Sean’s shirt and sweatpants. She doesn’t care what I’m wearing, and my clothes don’t make me a better or worse handler 😉)

#WackyTrainingWednesday is back again with some help from two of our favorite Scout portraits! Besides looking utterly silly (and maybe also a bit creepy watching it back 😂) tonight’s fun actually worked on two specific things: The first was verbal-only commands, which is something Scout struggled with for AGES. I relied heavily on hand signals and head nods and my overall body language for a really long time (I owned her for more than six months before she had a single verbal-only command). There’s no huge problem with that in most of our daily adventures — but I do like knowing she can listen even if my hands are still and she can’t see my face! The second was play around food. I had a few freeze-dried minnows in my pocket, and historically Scout has had a hard time getting into toy play when she thinks the opportunity for food is also on the table. Food and play activate different parts of the brain — I read a fascinating anecdote about a playful Komodo dragon in an article called Play, Stress, and the Learning Brain by Sam Wang and Sandra Aamodt that inspired me to prioritize the difference — so it’s been really fun to see her get into “pure play” mode around treats. We’ve worked on this in a few ways, and we don’t regularly use that much food in training anymore. As of last winter she’d tug with me outside even if I had her kibble on me, but higher value things were another story. So tonight was great! And all in all, laughs were had, which is what matters most 😂

On this week’s episode of #WackyTrainingWednesday: rain can’t get us down! And Scout isn’t too perturbed by popping umbrellas ☔️ It’s been raining a LOT here recently, so tonight we embraced it and had some play time our front. Even though our house has a fenced backyard, I like playing with Scout in view of the road sometimes because we’re exposed to more distractions, giving us more opportunity to keep building up our game. Of course, today no one was out but us… and we probably win the weirdest neighbor award 😂 Scout’s play has come a long way. I was afraid the opening umbrella would be a bigger challenge for her, but she was bold and invested in fighting Sean for the toy. Plus we all had a blast once we accepted we’d be soaked — win-win all around 😂 How are you being wacky and having fun and building up your dog’s real-world skills today?

Wacky training Wednesday is BACK!! It’s been way too long since we posted some silly shenanigans that are both 1) tons of fun and 2) great for proofing Scout’s skills in the real world. Between the house renovations, the move itself, wedding planning, work, and generally being a bit overwhelmed for the past months (and very thankfully knowing that my relationship with Scout is solid enough we can “run on autopilot” for a while if we need to), active training has taken a back seat. Of course, we're always training when we live with dogs, whether we realize it or not — we’ve kept up lifestyle skills on walks and in the house, we’ve taken Scout to several public patios, we’ve explored our new area. All sorts of good stuff! But I was missing the belly laughs that come from enlisting Sean’s help in a ridiculous setting… and when we returned from dinner with a slight buzz and a new toy, what better way to spend the evening? 😉😂 So tonight we interrupted tug with a ridiculous upside-down shenanigan (that didn’t quite go as planned, but good girl held her stay 😂). We did one dry run before this video, and I was honestly kind of shocked she listened to me when I was hanging like that. I did flip my hand signals to make it easier which I think helped quite a bit. I know it’s so silly — and this one especially so — but practicing absurd things like this truly has helped Scout be better at listening in all sorts of distracting environments. Either way, I hope you enjoy tonight’s wackiness as much as I did 😂

Reunited and it feels so good!! Scout had a great time with @saintpaisley this weekend while Sean and I visited one of our best college friends. It was wonderful to get away for a bit and not worry about bathroom breaks or biological fulfillment! It was also the first time she and I were apart for more than 9-10 hours in over a year and a half — and even though it was just over three days total, we were pretty thrilled to be back together. This isn’t a level of excitement I often encourage when we come home, but it felt appropriate today. Notice her ridiculously cute “cat burrowing” as we call it, and the fact that she runs to Sean first… I’m telling you he’s been her favorite for ages 😂 As convenient as it is to “not have a dog” sometimes and take little breaks, I really couldn’t imagine life any other way. She is the best creature and I’m so psyched to be home with her.

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Welcome to Paws and Reflect

Sharing in hopes to encourage other dog lovers. 🐺 Scout (3?) Stray adopted Jan 2019 👩🏼‍💻 Haley (23) Writer and dog nerd

Who are we?

We’re Haley and Scout, a 23-year-old writer turned obsessive dog nerd and a 3-year-old stray heeler turned girl’s best friend.

I adopted Scout in January 2019. Since then, we’ve navigated dog reactivity, apartment life, a big move from Wisconsin to Florida, and countless ups and downs in between.

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