Collective Horsemanship (Michael Benner)

07/01/2025

07/01/2025

The Art of the Pause: A Lesson in Reassessment

We live in a world that glorifies forward motion. Hustle, grind, push through. It’s the mantra of our times. But sometimes, the most productive thing we can do is pause.

Horses teach us this. When they stop moving their feet, lower their heads, and let out that deep sigh, they’re telling us they’re processing. It’s not a moment of laziness; It’s where the real learning happens. Their nervous system shifts from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest, from a state of tension to one of clarity. And, oh, the things we could learn if we followed their lead.

I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of rushing ahead. Whether it’s with a project, a relationship, or a green horse, my instinct is often to “do more.” But those moments where I’ve paused, truly paused, have been the ones where breakthroughs happened. The key is knowing when to stop chasing that dopamine-fueled high of “what’s next” and lean into the stillness where the real work begins.

What if we let ourselves sink into parasympathetic, where the heart rate slows and our thoughts clear? What if we gave ourselves the gift of time to reassess, to question if the path we’re charging down is the right one?

The pause Isn’t the end of momentum; it’s the beginning of intentional action. And maybe, just maybe, it’s the secret to finding peace in a world that’s addicted to speed.

Your next move? Take a moment. Pause. And watch what unfolds when you stop pushing and start listening.

What has pausing taught you lately? Let’s reflect together.

06/01/2025

Everyday Philosophy:

Be Aware of Your Weaknesses

Horsemanship: Know your limitations as a rider so you can improve them.
Life: Growth begins with honest self-assessment.

05/01/2025

Soulful Sunday Afternoon - When Fear Consumes: Restoring Balance Requires Skilled Hands

Fear is a powerful thing. It doesn’t just visit for a moment and leave; it roots itself deep in the subconscious, reshaping how we see the world and how our bodies respond to it. Whether it’s a person or a horse, chronic fear turns the brain, nervous system, and adrenal glands into a symphony of survival. But when survival mode becomes the default, the system begins to crumble.

For humans, fear makes the amygdala hyperactive—the brain’s fire alarm is constantly blaring, even when there’s no fire. Decision-making and reasoning shut down because the prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain that says, “Hey, maybe it’s not that bad”—goes offline. Memory suffers, problem-solving stalls, and the body gets locked into a fight-or-flight state. For horses, this plays out in ways we see every day: spooking at shadows, tension that won’t ease, or behaviors that seem irrational but are simply a reflection of a survival system stuck in overdrive — Sympathetic Dominance.

It gets deeper. Chronic fear hijacks the subconscious. Trauma, past experiences, and learned associations sit quietly in the background, dictating reactions we can’t consciously control. For horses, that can mean a refusal to trust, even in calm environments. For humans, it can mean hypervigilance, sleepless nights, and that constant knot in your stomach.

This isn’t a job for quick fixes or well-meaning amateurs. Restoring balance takes skill, patience, and a deep understanding of both the science and the soul. Professionals trained in the nuances of the brain, nervous system, and subconscious are the ones who can step in and start untangling this web of fear. Whether it’s a therapist guiding a person through their trauma or a skilled horseman helping a horse rediscover trust, the goal is the same: to help the nervous system relearn how to rest and recover.

In this work, the small wins matter. A horse learning to lower its head, a person taking their first full breath in years—these are signs that the parasympathetic system, the body’s “rest and digest” mode, is waking up. Balance isn’t something you force; it’s something you rebuild piece by piece.

So, when fear consumes—when it feels like there’s no way out—it’s okay to ask for help. The right guidance, grounded in expertise and empathy, can help rewrite the script of fear and restore the peace that every body, human or horse, deserves.

Because balance isn’t just a state of being—it’s a skill. And it’s worth the work.

05/01/2025

No Sugar Coating: Your Posture is Talking. What’s It Saying About You?

Let’s just acknowledge that your posture is a loudmouth. It spills your secrets before you open your mouth. Slumped shoulders? They scream, “I give up.” Stiff spine? That’s the universal sign for “I’m trying way too hard.” And don’t even get me started on the crossed arms. Yes, we see your emotional fortress, Captain Defensive.

Your posture is the ultimate truth-teller. It reveals what’s going on inside before you can even think about hiding it. Slumped shoulders? They scream, “I give up.” Stiff spine? That’s the universal sign for “I’m trying way too hard.” And don’t even get me started on the crossed arms. Yes, we see your emotional fortress, Captain Defensive.

Ever noticed how your posture shifts depending on your mood? When you’re happy, you stand taller. When you’re overwhelmed, you shrink into yourself. That’s not just your spine playing tricks. It’s your nervous system expressing itself through your body. Your slouchy days aren’t just “lazy.” They’re a blinking neon sign saying, “Hey, something’s off.”

What’s the solution? Stand up straight? Sure, but not like you’re posing for a military inspection. Posture starts from the inside out. Want to fix the slouch? Start with your mindset. Want to look more confident? Practice being more confident. It’s not rocket science. Just human mechanics 101.

No one gets this right all the time. I’ve spent days riding with my shoulders so tense they could double as coat racks. My horse didn’t appreciate it, and neither did my lower back. But every time I reset, breathe, and let my body align, something magical happens. I feel lighter, and so does my horse.

Your posture is the silent spokesperson for your inner world. Make sure it’s telling the story you want others to hear. If it’s not, there’s always tomorrow to straighten things out. Literally.

What’s your posture saying today? Let me know in the comments. But no slouching while you type.

05/01/2025

Straight Talk Saturday: Seat, Legs, and Hands, Oh My!

Riding often feels like balancing a thousand moving parts at once. Success comes from letting go of overthinking and tuning into awareness to align three essential tools—your seat, legs, and hands.

Your seat Is the foundation. If it’s tight or out of sync, everything else falls apart. Sit with the horse, not against them, and stay loose enough to follow their motion.

Your legs are guides, not clamps. Squeezing like a vice or leaving them flopping won’t help. Effective leg work is clear and consistent—ask, don’t nag. If your horse doesn’t respond, check your timing and the application of aids.

Then there are the hands. Stop trying to fix everything with them. Soft, steady hands aid and guide; they don’t steer. Pulling frustrates your horse. If your hands are overactive, the issue likely starts with your seat or legs.

When everything works in harmony, your ride feels seamless. But when one part of your riding is off, the whole system falters. Stay aware, be consistent, and keep learning. Forget perfection—ride with balance and intention. Seat, legs, and hands, oh my? Get them working together, and your partnership with your horse will thrive.

04/01/2025

Sorry, y'all, I've been dealing with a family emergency, but I'll be back to posting this evening. I've been thinking a lot about several topics and writing in the background: fear, motivation, moving from center, self-regulation, leads, body alignment, the relationship between training and real-life situations, and much more.

What does the big red ball mean to you? We'll dive into its use and misuse soon.

28/12/2024

🥰...!

27/12/2024

"Best Laid Plans", A Reflection of Life.

Where does your mind go when the best-laid plans crumble? For me, it used to be a full spiral—frustration, doubt, and a healthy dose of self-criticism thrown in for good measure. It didn’t matter if I was sitting in a saddle, standing in the kitchen, or working through life’s curveballs. My mind was off to the races before I even realized I was holding my breath.

I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that when the wheels fall off, the solution isn’t to push harder, faster, or louder. It’s to pause. Take a breath. Feel where you are before you try to go anywhere else. The horse doesn’t know your plans have gone sideways; they only know how you feel about it.

That’s the trick, isn’t it? Clearing your mind, letting go of the story about what “should” be, and finding your way back to forward movement. Not perfect movement. Not Pinterest-worthy. Just one step in the right direction.

I’ve learned that when life—or a horse—stalls out, the answer isn’t found in forcing the moment but in returning to the basics. Forward, however small the step, is still progress. And sometimes, that small step turns out to be the most important one of all.

What do you do when your plans fall apart? Let’s hear your stories of forward movement in the comments.



Photo - my horse Ouzo slowing down work, he has a well developed sense of curiosity, and always has to see what is going on.

25/12/2024

~A Horseman's Christmas Gift.

The sun stretches its fingers across the horizon,
Pulling the morning awake in hues of amber and rose.
‘Tis Christmas, and the tree stands aglow,
Its quiet twinkle a companion to the horseman’s call.

Layers donned, a stance of defiance
Against winter’s sharp and unrelenting teeth.
The door creaks open, and frost-laden air
Rushes in, filling lungs with a bite that stings.
Each breath an awakening,
The cold bites at the skin, like piranha tasting the offering.

Feed is weighed, each portion deliberate,
An offering to the dragons who await.
The ground groans beneath each step,
Grass frozen into shards that sing
A brittle melody of winter’s making.

A whistle slices the stillness,
the earth begins to tremble.
From the ridge they come,
Their nostrils breathing fire into the icy morning,
Each gallop a drumbeat,
Each exhale a plume of smoke against the pale dawn.

The dragons are sated, their bellies warm,
Coats like velvet under a gentle hand.
For a moment, the world pauses,
The burdens of folly melt into the quiet peace
Of work well done.

The Christmas gift is their strength,
A grounding that lingers in their scent, earthy, alive.
With one last touch, I leave them to their stillness.
Coffee calls, its promise drawing me back
To the warmth of home.

23/12/2024

Every Ingredient Has a Role

In the kitchen, every ingredient brings something to the table—a hint of spice, a touch of sweetness, or a pinch of balance. Leave one out, and the recipe changes.

Horsemanship is no different. Every experience, whether smooth or challenging, shapes your horse’s behavior. Each moment adds to the bigger picture—building trust, resilience, and understanding.

And in life? Even the hard times, the ones that feel impossible, contribute to your growth. They teach you patience, strength, and perspective, becoming part of the rich tapestry of who you are.

All this comes to bear when we feel we’ve made a mistake. This moment is the proudest time for learning—not in how we fix it, but in how we respond to it. In this moment, the horse and your inner identity are waiting to see if you offer calm or frustration.

Remember: Nothing is wasted. Every ingredient, every moment, matters.

22/12/2024

Soulful Sunday: What Comes First, Softness or Feel?

There’s a timeless question in horsemanship, one that sneaks its way into every ride, every training session, and, if we’re honest, into how we move through life: What comes first, softness or feel?

Softness often feels like the holy grail. It’s what we all want from our horses, isn’t it? That seamless connection, where a whisper of intent flows through the reins, and your horse answers with trust, fluidity, and grace. It’s something you earn. It emerges from a place far deeper than technique or tools; it’s born of trust, patience within ourselves, and the willingness to let go of your own tension first.

Then there’s feel, that elusive sense of timing and intuition that makes everything click. Feel isn’t just knowing what to do; it’s knowing when and how much. It’s the art of listening with your body, your breath, and your intention. It’s the difference between pulling on the reins and inviting your horse into the conversation.

So, which comes first? Here’s the perspective I’ve cultivated over the years of trial, error, and a whole lot of humbling moments: Feel comes first. Why? Because feel is the language through which softness is built. Without feel, softness can’t exist. And feel isn’t something your horse teaches you. It’s something you develop in yourself.

Softness and feel are partners, like breath and movement. One feeds the other. But feel is the spark that lights the fire. It’s what allows you to notice when softness begins and nurture it into something beautiful.

So today, I invite you to practice feel in your rides, in your conversations, and even in the way you approach yourself. Listen deeply. Respond softly. And remember, feel comes first.

Happy Sunday, my friends. May you find the softness you seek, both in the saddle and beyond.

22/12/2024

Straight Talk Sunday: Mise en Place – Everything in Its Place

Let’s borrow a page from the chefs. In the kitchen, mise en place means organizing everything you need—ingredients, tools, even your mindset—before you start cooking. It’s not just about neatness; it’s about being ready.

Now, let’s talk about horsemanship. Do you have your tack checked, your gear organized, and your goals clear before you step into the arena or pasture? Or are you scrambling for a halter, half-focused, and hoping it all comes together? Horses pick up on chaos faster than we do. A scattered approach doesn’t just slow you down; it unsettles your horse. In that unsettled space, trust takes a hit.

But this isn’t just about horses. It’s about life. Do you know what you’re working toward today, or are you winging it? Are your resources lined up, or are you wasting energy chasing your tail? Mise en place isn’t just practical; it’s calming. It frees up your mental bandwidth for the real work.

Whether it’s a clean saddle rack or a clear plan for your day, preparation is self-respect in action. It’s showing up to the table, whether with your horse or with life, ready to give it your best. The reward? Less frustration. More flow. For the horse folks: a partnership that feels like a conversation, not a lecture.

So, what’s out of place in your life or your barn? What can you prepare today to show up better tomorrow?

21/12/2024

Even a line in a movie can cause me to pause and think more deeply. I’m recalling Bruce Lee's famous line from the TV series Longstreet is deeply philosophical and reflects core ideas about life and self-mastery. Here is the quote:

"Like everyone else, you want to learn the way to win. But never to accept the way to lose, to accept defeat—to learn to die—is to be liberated from it. So when tomorrow comes, you must free your ambitious mind and learn the art of dying!"

What is the Meaning of the "Art of Dying"?

This statement is about more than literal death; it’s a metaphor for surrendering the ego, letting go of attachments, and embracing vulnerability. By accepting failure, loss, and impermanence, we free ourselves from fear and become fully present and alive. In my life, I have taken statements like this and adapted them to how I approach things in life while remembering that they will adjust over time, impacted by life experiences and a better understanding of myself. Here is how I have adapted it to horsemanship and life.
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Adaptation to Horsemanship
1. Let Go of Fear of Mistakes: In horsemanship, fear of failure often creates tension and hinders growth. Accept that mistakes are part of learning for both you and the horse.
2. Release Ego: Let go of the need to dominate or "win" with the horse. True partnership comes from humility and mutual respect.
3. Be Fully Present: Ride with a clear mind, unattached to outcomes. This allows for authentic connection and communication with your horse.
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Adaptation to Life
1. Accept Impermanence: Understand that everything, including our ambitions and struggles, is temporary. This acceptance brings peace.
2. Let Go of Attachments: By releasing the need for control or success, we free ourselves to live fully in the present.
3. Embrace Vulnerability: Facing failure or hardship head-on builds resilience and true freedom.

20/12/2024

Thinking on Horsemanship and Beyond…

One thing I've always done in life is look for similarities between things. Everything we do follows certain principles or philosophies that connect to other parts of life. When we search for these similarities—not just in what we do but in how we relate to horses, people, or even our careers—we begin to see the world differently.

As I reflect on my life, I feel grateful for the wide range of experiences I’ve had. From working in various fields to learning from teachers and mentors who thought beyond textbooks, I’ve been exposed to ideas that inspired me to grow. These teachers didn’t push their beliefs or conclusions on me. Instead, they kept asking “why,” which challenged me to expand my mind. This is also how I prefer to teach—not by saying, “This is how it’s done,” but by focusing on the principles and philosophies behind the lessons. When you truly understand the principles, the path forward becomes clear.

This weekend, take some time to explore the principles of horsemanship through other activities—cooking, baking, woodworking, welding, taking a simple hike, or anything you enjoy. Pause, reflect, and absorb what you’ve learned. Find your own path that blends with these principles and philosophies, whether it’s about action, movement, or simply staying open. A new way of living may unfold, leaving your breath feeling fresher and freer.

About the photo:
I enjoy puzzles, and this was one of those puzzle games where you have to get several steel beads into their own hole. I completed 12 in one afternoon! How is this related to horsemanship? Patience, strategy, adaptability, feel, and refined motor skills… My friend Steve Peters (https://horsebrainscience.info & Evidence-Based Horsemanship ) would comment on how this game helps stimulate Neural Plasticity; brain teasers activate different parts of the brain, encouraging the creation of new neural connections. This can boost cognitive agility and mental adaptability.

Horsemanship is in everything when we open our eyes and minds to the experience.