Regular Jokes

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Regular Jokes Regular Jokes are different than Funny Jokes. They're regular. Don't laugh.

02/12/2023

What did the hairstylist say to the actuarial assistant?

I guess it wasn’t clear enough in my email, so I’ll just say it: I’m not going to petsit your monkey while you’re away in Cedar Rapids. Stop fu***ng asking me, Darlene.

05/11/2022

What did the horse barn owner say to the recliner salesman?

They say that you are what you eat. Son, if that’s true, you’d be a bagel crisp. But we can fix that with the help of Jesus.

05/09/2022

What did the electrician say to the sports bar owner?

I love how when you’re watching a movie and they get an animal — any animal or pet or you know, maybe a raccoon or one of them squirrels — and someone puts a pair of sunglasses on them and then BOOM! Instant animal librarian! Every fu**in time!

28/08/2022

What did the architect say to the frozen meat connoisseur?

We don’t talk about Fat Boy Slim like that in this household, young man. You know better than that.

28/07/2022

What did the hamster trainer say to the visiting college student?

Yo, Trey! Did you have any of this sherbet? Trey! Either you had some or somebody at the Walgreens put their dick in it. Not that it’s gonna stop me from eating it or anything.

14/06/2022

What did the baggage handler say to the rodeo clown?

I haven’t heard a kid say this in a while and it saddens me so: “No, dad, it’s ok. I’m holding it hard so I can s**t at the food court.”

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