07/05/2024
Things they don’t tell you about grief:
It can show up out of nowhere, even while buying groceries.
No one warns you about that. I mean, don’t get me wrong - You’re warned about the big holidays, the birthdays, the anniversary of their passing.
But no one tells you that you could be looking at chicken livers in Bluff Meat Supply and be overwhelmed with grief, loss, and heartache.
You see, my Stiggly loved chicken livers. We had an endless supply of his sliders from Little Angels and livers.
Every time I pass that aisle now, out of nowhere - Grief fills my entire being.
For those who are lucky enough to not know, allow me to explain:
First you feel it in the pit of your stomach (a now familiar feeling that I can recognize) After you feel it in your stomach, your heart starts to race a little faster, your legs get a little tingly, and your eyes start to strain, merely from the pressure of the tears behind them. It all happens quite fast; so fast that, just for a moment, you may even lose your breath.
Grief comes out of nowhere, yet boldly reminds you that it’s been there all along. Just resting under the surface, holding space until it’s ready to remind you of its presence all along.
The difficult part about grief showing up like this is that, well, you’re just not ready for it. The holidays? You’re prepared. The birthdays? You’re prepared. The anniversary of their passing? You’re prepared.
But when grief decides to show up out of nowhere, your armour is not on; you have no shield, no protection.
It just hits you. Unexpected. Unprepared.
It is, quite frankly, an emotional sucker punch to the gut. One that you’re not ready for.
I’ve learned to allow grief to have its moment. I no longer fight it off; I no longer ignore its presence.
I simply allow space for it, until it passes through.
Because I’ve also come to learn that what you’re left with once it passes is the reminder that you loved someone so dearly and so fiercely that you will carry them with you forever -
And there’s something pretty beautiful about that realization right there
Grief and chicken livers. What a combo.
If you enjoyed this post please click share and keep images, and text intact.
