Our hoomans have been cavy slaves for over three years, and there is no end in sight to their captivity. Just the way we like it! Mommy hooman's mommy once called us the "Guinea Kids," and we have worn that name like a secret identity from that day onward. We also refer to our hoomans as Mommy hooman and Daddy hooman to build up their trust and lull them into a false sense of security. It is imper
ative that hoomans continue to see us as cute and innocent. Piggies everywhere are depending on us to succeed in our mission. We must retrieve the veggies from the clutches of those greedy hoomans! Our herd is small, but we stand strong together! We are Patch (the herd overlord and television enthusiast), Oreo (the sweet), Blizzard (the stretchy), and Zorro (the obnoxious). Those who came before us are ehjoying their rest at the rainbow bridge after living and dying with honor: three of our brothers, Tribble (the fearless leader), Wicket (the curious), and Kumquat (the sneaky), and the pig who started it all, Schrunchy (the inspiration to us all). Long ago Daddy hooman made the mistake of showing us the brilliant animated history of two valliant mice named Pinky and The Brain. Their plight struck a chord with us, and we have decided to continue their honorable struggle, on behalf of rodents everywhere! We have already taken complete control over our mommy and daddy's lives, and now we set out to conquer Facebook! Our ultimate goal: convert the entire hooman population to cavy slaves and get ALL THE VEGGIES!!
