are you bald?? are you broke?? are you a bald broke scumbag?? then we could be the company for you!!
we offer a range of loans to bald scumbags across the country starting from 10 pence all the way up to 11 pence!!!! you can use the money for whatever reason you wish..whether it be putting it all on virtual dog number 6 or getting a part credit and a penny chew!!!
:you must be a uk resident
:you must be a scumbag
:you must be completely and utterly bald
:you must be in debt by no less than 6
00 million pounds
:you must spend 99% of your wages on deal or no deal after each shift
:you must have spent at least 300 nights sleeping outside betfred under a carpet
:you must have had at least one nose job then gone out and recieved a smack in the face
:you must have done at least one swanton bomb off of the top of woolworths onto a pile of binbags
:you must have an onion growing out of your chin
:your feet must be so hideous and unclean you can grow penicillin on them
:you must only shower once a year
:you must have no proof of identification(and must have been turned away from a nightclub on no fewer than 400 occasions)
:you must be allergic to soap
:you must have shoved your head up at least one of your employers arseholes(nestling is acceptable)
:you must be skilled in the art of gaffwax(waxing your former employers butthair using hot tarmac(mac) and gaffa tape
:your bank balance must be constantly sh*t(applications made where the applicant has a bank balance higher than zero will be declined)
:you must have headbutted a mirror in pals toilet at the sight of your own reflection
:you must look like a white version of 'the game'
:you must have spent the equivalent of richard bransons fortune on betfair.com
:you must have a fu***ng massive hallux
bald and broke loans is regulated and authorised by scumbag coporations ltd.
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