19/01/2025
As we turned onto the hillside, with the full views of the reservoir spanning, the silence was sudden. It was noteable that we had entered a different space, with a different energy.
I looked down at Bear, who was panting and trembling; being this high and the water inky black bellow was unsettling for him. As we sat down together I asked him to cuddle, which we initially refused choosing to pancake himself to the ground. So we sat steady, watching the sudden rain dance across the water until he climbed onto my lap.
I understood his fear. I too am scared of water and heights. Of things I can’t control. In that moment, it became so apparent, how fear feels the same way grief does. It feels never ending, all consuming, deafening and inescapable all in that moment.
The last few years have been brutal for us. I’m so proud we are all still standing strong, if not a bit wounded. But as the clock chimed midnight a 19 days ago, the call to adventure, to love and live again was strong.
As we stood up to head back to the bridge Bear done his best to keep with me, and not run ahead to escape our fears that were all around us. We walked together, with our two friends back to solid ground as the feelings stayed on the hillside, dancing around awaiting our return ✨
