06/01/2025
A while ago, my mom mentioned how I was so brave with horses when I was a kid. I kind of laughed and told her I wasn't really that brave. Truth be told, I was notoriously cautious, I just had a pretty appropriate level of confidence in my ability, my seat and my balance. But if I was uncertain of an outcome, or worried in any way, my first response was always to either slow down or opt out entirely.
I know this was the bane of one of my best friend's existence in that season of our life. "Come ON, Erika, it's FINE" she would insist, with all the confidence I so admired. Meanwhile I was contemplating all the ways things could go horribly sideways and trying to determine if I could troubleshoot or if it was better to just avoid it altogether...she did push me to the limits of my confidence, which, to be honest, I desperately needed, because I was the very opposite of brave. Thanks for your patience in those days, Sarah, and also, you're welcome for keeping you alive and in possession of all your limbs, probably 😉
I'm pretty sure I come by this trait from my dad, who places a lot of value on avoiding as much trouble as possible through the merits of observation and foresight. I grew up listening to him point out things that would be hazardous in slightly different situations; "this gate is pretty narrow so you better be thinking about folding up the rake before you get to it" or "look at that wet patch--it will probably freeze by the time we come back so watch out for ice when you're headed home." I learned to watch, perhaps not as closely as Dad does, but still, and I learned a lot of critical thinking skills just by osmosis, or by his directly questioning the things I'd observed.
I think Dad thoroughly accomplished his goal, because I have thus far in my life managed to avoid any serious wrecks or accidents, even with horses, who are a bit risky by their very nature. That's not to say I've never come off or been hurt; I've fallen plenty, and it often hurt a bunch, but that critical thinking, looking ahead, has I think kept me out of a lot of trouble I might have otherwise stepped blithely into, were it not for my dad's voice in the back of my head saying "but wait...look...what if...?"
I guess I'm unusual in how deeply I took some of his warnings to heart. We shared a good laugh recently, because back in the day dad told me very seriously, with my freshly minted drivers license, that I should only drive 65 at night, so I didn't "outrun my headlights." Ya'll I took this as absolute gospel and would feel a little worried if I ran 68, until I was probably 25, an entire grown adult with children of my own. It was about the time the Montana speed limit increased from 75 to 80 mph, and I figured 15mph below the speed limit in the dark might be more of a hazard than outrunning my headlights.
I was THIRTY before I told Dad this, and he kinda laughed and said he just didn't want me speeding at night, so he told me 65, anticipating that I would push that. I sputtered, and said I LOVED knowing boundaries so I could stay twelve feet away and avoid any trouble, so by golly when my dad told me to only run 65 at night, I only ran 65 at night!
I get THAT quality from my mom, who shook her head, entirely unsurprised that I had, indeed, set my cruise control at exactly 65 for almost my entire driving career because that's what Dad told me to do.
So you see, on every level, I've never been interested in pushing boundaries or exceeding my comfort zone. The trouble is, horses are almost entirely outside my comfort zone these days. Hopefully, 2025 will be the year for riding more, expanding my comfort zone, and living a little more bravely.
I absolutely believe that caution is oftentimes the better part of valor, but I don't want to live fearfully, either. So here's to figuring out how to use that critical thinking to ride smarter, stay safe, and do the thing without letting the anxiety eat me up.
What are your goals for 2025? What are you working on? Do you need to be more brave or perhaps learn a little caution? We need all sorts in this life; honestly, every cautious friend like me needs the fearless bestie, like Sarah, or my husband, to say "Come ON, it'll be FINE" and every fearless friend needs someone to say "but wait, maybe we shouldn't..." here's yet another aspect of life that we find is all about balance.