Sheldon the Border Terrier

05/08/2024

Every morning on our walks we meet up wiv a great bunch of furs and p*eps! Sometimes ers is there ages, they even make coffee and bring noms so us furs are very well behaved so as to get given treats! Well apart from Charlie, he obviously didn’t get the p*e mail telling him to be on his best behaviour. He jumped straight out of his car and p*ed all over ers legs. Thing is - ers was that busy a yakking ers didn’t even notice. Ers thinks she spilt ers coffee or summat and I wasn’t gonna say nuffink! I call it Karma!

24/07/2024

Guess where Ers as put me again…….. full report if ers ever remembers where Ers left me!!!!!

20/07/2024

OMD pals!! Wot a week! The horrendous pain! The sheer unmitigated agony! The psychological trauma! Of me aving to listen to ers relentless moaning on and on about how much ers teefs was hurting!!! Well I say teefs but it was actually only one. ONE!!! Didn’t ear me going on and on and on and on when I ad 8 of mine stolen!! 8!!!!! All at once!!! And ers still expected me to wag me tail and trot off wiv ers on me daily walkies like nuffink as appened!!! Well since ers as only had one teefie out ers can get ers butt off that sofa and take me out for me sniffs and p*emails!!!!

18/06/2024

You will not believe wot ers as done now pals!!!! Ers is only trying to smuggle a new pet into me house! You eard A NEW PET!!! Ers said it fell off the roof, yeah we eard that before, back of a lorry, fell off the roof, pull the other one. Ers sneaked it into the bathroom so I couldn’t witness ers treachery!!! And! And! And! I saw ers feeding it wiv a spoon!!! Ers was a cooing and a fussing and giving it my dog food, ok I knows I don’t like it but that’s not the point, it’s my dog food!!! Ers said it won’t be wiv us long, well answer me this, why give it a name then eh! Steven!!!!! Wot sort a name is that for a seagull???? Ers as broken so many rules I need to think up a new punishment. And don’t get me started on the sqwarking house disturbing me sleep!!! Just wait till it starts flapping around, them things don’t go against trees like us furs!!!

07/06/2024

I az become very fussy lately and it’s driving ers up the wall!! Ers is trying all sorts to get me to eat. News flash!! I is getting older and I don’t do me zoomies that often so don’t need ers super charged home made meals that often. Ears a thing though pals, the more you refuse to eat, the more they try to get you to eat. And it means they try nicer and nicer stuff to tempt you!!! We ave fresh chicken, rabbit and beef, and guess what?? Ers as even started spoon feeding me!!! Well I iz playing along wiv it for now, until I get bored and find another way to wind ers up!!! Laters!

30/04/2024

Don’t know why ers got ers pants in a twist?? I woz only doing what the sign said 😂😂🐾

27/04/2024

17/04/2024

Tip of the week. You might just wanna check that wind direction before you decide to ‘stick n flick’. Your welcome! 😂😬

07/04/2024

Ers an idea! Before ewes think it’s a good idea to take us out for walkies in this windy weather. Ows about you try doing your morning ablutions in a wind tunnel, under the shower in the freezing cold!!! 🥶

01/04/2024

Well the big shiny thing in the sky has been out and we av been out enjoying some lovely warm walkies. Baby sheeps are popping up in the fields but all ers as been going on and on and on about is being ‘summer ready!!’ Whatevs that means. Well I found out what it means! It means ers annual defurring! Why ers thinks removing thick black leg hair to reveal pasty white legs underneath will do anything to make ers look better in the summer escapes even my small brain!!!

You know how us dogs like to follow Hoos into the bathroom in case they av a hidden stash of treats in there or summit, well never again pals, never again!!!! I did follow ers in there yesterday and I can never ever ever ever unsee that now. I ain’t ever following ers into the bathroom ever again!!!

21/03/2024

Oh my dawg! . We was on our beach walkies the other day, sniffing the rocks and crevices and sending out p*emails ( me not ers obvs). When suddenly all me doggy pals started a sniffin at ers and paying ers lots of attenshun. I was a bit miffed as they wanted to play wiv ers and not me. They were a yapping and a woofing, sniffing and a snuffling and even jumping up at ers. Dog knows why I thought, ers aint that popular and ers never, ever as a ballie on ers!!! Suddenly ers started running, well attempting to run, and they all starting running too, nipping at ers coat and pickets. Ers was like the pied piper of doggies! Turns out ers ad put some snossidges in ers pockets the other day and forgot about them. Real ripe they were, nice and stinky, you could sniff em from a mile away. Well we could! Ers would still be running across the sands now if Charlie hadn’t grabbed them and run off in the other direction. Oh how I larfed!!!!

23/02/2024

Oh my dawg!! Ewes never believe wot I saw in me garden the over day!! A ginormous, thieving little rat!! Well it wasn’t little but it was thieving. It was nomming the food ers puts out for the birds! It’s ers latest ‘thing’. When ers sitting on the sofa doing nowt, ers likes to watch the birdies. It’s bad enuff ers is spending me nom money on bird seed without even asking my permission! But ers is encouraging every rat on me patch into me garden!!! It’s a good job I iz super brilliant at catching them or we iz gonna be in big trouble!! .

16/02/2024

Yappy Birfday to ers, yappy Birfday to ers, yappy Birfday my Hoomum, yappy Birfday to ers!! There! Don’t let it be said I don’t make an effort!

Well I suppose it’s gonna be an all ‘me me me’ today as ers ponders over yet another Birfday and wot matters in life. But as ers getting old I’ll let it go as long as ers doesn’t forget the important stuff in life like me walkies, me treats and me strokies!!

14/02/2024

Yappy valentines furs and p*eps ❤️❤️🐾

25/01/2024

I think Hoomans call this Karma!!! 😂😂😂🐾👍

24/01/2024

Oh my dog!! Wot is it wiv this weather😱😱😱😱. Ers thinks as long as ers puts ers big coat on it’s ok to take me for walkies! Ers thinks if ers puts me in me coat of stone I will be ok. Newsflash!!! Ickle dogs and tornado winds are not a good combination!!!

17/01/2024

Call Dogline!!! Call RSPCBT!!! Throw the rule book at ers!!! Ers as really crossed the line now!!! I knows it’s cold and I knows ers likes to feed the wildlife in the bad weaver, but really!!!! Giving perfectly good snossidge rolls to them pesky Squizzers really takes the biscuit, or not in this case. And to add insult to injury them pesky Squizzers are getting bold and trying to intimidate me! Me a noble Border Terrier pfffttt!

Hoomum - it was one sausage roll, it was a mistake!! they normally get seeds and nuts! Sheldon is still sulking 🤦‍♀️

31/12/2023

Happy New Year to my family, all my friends and furs ❤️❤️❤️🐾🐾🎉🎉🥂

30/12/2023

This turkey food is a gift that keeps on giving pals!!! Giving me heartburn, indegestun and a mahoosive!!!! belly!!! I iz fed up of it. Literally! Ers better get back to me normal food soon or I think I will burst!!

18/12/2023

Have a nom nommy nom nom Xmas furs and p*eps ❤️❤️❤️🐾🐾🐾

02/12/2023

OMD!!! Wot is appening?? There is white fluffy stuff all over the place. Looks like a giant toy as been deaded!!!! everywhere!!! Can’t see a Squizzer or a rabbit or nuffink in this!! And if that wasn’t bad enough ers made me wear that coat of stone too!!! Rubbish walk, wet paws and not a sniff of a furry to chase!! There were some interesting patches of yellow snow but ers stopped me from going there!

12/11/2023

I just knew ers idea would not end well. Guess how long it took before ers noticed what ers ad done!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️