21/12/2024
Update: for those that care/support me lol
I guess you can say this is a blog post on everything behind the scenes.If you are new here, this isn't unusal for me, I've always offered full transparency to my clients/supporters. I don't pretend everything is all rainbows and butterflies with my success.
I'm trying to transition back to how things always were here and as a solo individual representing only myself.
As many know, daydream reptiles had moved her geckos into my location, our plan at that time was to help each other out as she was at my place multiple times a week, it just made sense as I was handling her shipments ect.
We did the move and then life threw her a curveball. She ended up taking on a full time night shift job which made it very difficult for her to be here for gecko care. We thought this was going to be a temporary situation so we continued, I started to take over everything as she was paying me and my daughter basically as her employees to take care of her hoard. That's when we thought maybe we can team up into 1 as it was easier for me to run 1 page and shop then 2 seperate labels, it was burning me out.
We had that a trial run but then as more geckos were hatching, her numbers are growing, she doesn't have the time to assist or sell her geckos therefore numbers are increasing not decreasing, my daughter ended up getting a job and everything began to fall onto me solely....
During all of this, there were family loses, lots of grieving, and my toddler showing signs of autism more and more the last 9 months, needing me more and more, as I navigate parenthood to a very non verbal autistic child that's is stuck to me like glue which started to make everything even harder to manage alone.
Now with all of this plus the drama that I kept getting dragged into or the attacks onto us as a duo, I broke, I couldn't take it anymore. I was burnt out constantly with way too many animals in my care, physically amd mentally draining. It's pretty obvious I've fallen apart this year, you guys have been seeing me break and act out and I'm full blown embarrassed over it all. I've had 2 msgs vs many supportive of people kind of thinking it's funny or passing judgement like I'm doing this for fun. This is a really really bad struggle for me. I lost my passion, I'm drowning in geckos, in work, in maintanence. I could barely run my business because I was so burnt out taking care of 2 collections optop of everythinggg else happening around me. As you saw, I hit my final straw and was ready to sell 80% of my collection....
Well, that changed and to stay afloat I need change, I need less animals to take care of... so daydream has agreed to move her collection back to her location. She can better manage her stuff and I will be able to get my business back to how it was.
Again I also publicly stated I do suffer with BPD which I didn't know for so long that I suffered from this. It's not easy for me. Even making this post I feel ashamed and embarrassed. But this is a reminder that people are going through things, we aren't just a 'seller' we are human beings, with struggles and emotions.
I apologize for being a mess. I apologize if I bother anyone. I apologize if I seem crazy (I guess I medically am lol) I can't fix that. But my heart is here, I am a good person, I care so so much about my animals.
Please please bare with me. I need to get through this major transition again as daydreams geckos start making there way back to her. We are still best friends, that's not changing. Our lives just don't allow us to be able to be successful partners. We meant well, we had hopes, but our schedules clashed and I pulled the plug on it all.
It'll be difficult to get new geckos up for a little now that this is happening... I hope to regain SOME sanity, if I have any left🤪 And I'll do my very best to get back to how things were 🫶
Please be gentle with me. This was hard to post. But my OG's know that I don't hide anything, and I'm known to use my platform to speak out.
Anyone else that also goes through things similar, just know, you're not alone. I'm definitely not put together well at all lol but I acknowledge and I own it. But my gecko care is still too notch regardless of what I'm going through... hence the major burn outs.
For the past 4 years, I've had 4 different collections under my roof ontop of mine, either by boarding and helping others out, or taking them on to help sell ect. I've now realized I can't do that anymore, my life has changed, I have a little special human that needs a lot of me so therefore I must only focus on my collection and numbers I can manage.
If you read this far... you're a real one lol
Sorry 🤣🫶
