DeGregory Danes

16/04/2024

Had to get Winston the Greatest Dane outta the house for a little. He’s having girl troubles 🐶

15/04/2023

We have reached 400 followers! Thank you for your continued support. We could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

02/10/2022

Happy happy birthday to our 3 year olds! Add an up to date picture please!

30/03/2022

22/03/2022

Winston and Freya

09/03/2022

Yes Freya you’re still a little lap puppy!

09/03/2022

Still a lap dog!

08/03/2022

Breakfast at Sunrise Cafe. A good way to start the day.

08/03/2022

Gus had a delicious pup cup today!

06/03/2022

Freya needs a government name. Got any suggestions?

19/01/2022

Meet the newest addition to DeGregory Danes.

12/12/2021

Happy 1st birthday Freya!

18/09/2021

Gus is home and recovering nicely. Thank you for your prayers and support!

17/09/2021

Gus is doing well and gets to come home this afternoon! Thank you all for your well wishes!

17/09/2021

Gus is out of surgery. He’s apparently eaten a roll of toilet paper and a happy face emoji. He is going to be ok

17/09/2021

Asking our DeGregory Dane family to keep Gus in your prayers as he goes into surgery for an intestinal blockage.

04/09/2021

Disclaimer: posted just for fun.

Dear Customer,

Congratulations on acquiring your Great Dane

Please find the instructions for your particular model listed below:

Although your Great Dane comes fully assembled, due to particular issues during production, we do occasionally have issues with components such as screws. They invariably are either loose or missing altogether.

Mode 1: This is the sleep mode, activated for the majority of the day as the Great Dane ages. This is normal and you should not worry about it, just accept the peace and quiet while you can.

Mode 2: Anarchy. Although we have tried to ease the effect of anarchy mode, it’s not always possible. There are inherent issues with the timer settings of anarchy mode in regards to there being none. Should your Great Dane suddenly go from comatose to running around the walls, we cannot stop this feature.

Sunlight: Do not allow your Great Dane to stay in the sun too long. They can burn if left unattended but they also recharge. Too much of a charge and mode 2 can be activated without warning.

Energy consumption: This has been an ongoing issue as their energy consumption is too direct. We have tried to put baffles, non return valves and diversions in place but none seem to work adequately. Safe to say what goes in comes out, in both solids and gas. The gas, although noxious, can only inhibit breathing of the owner for up to ten minutes.

Naming: Your Great Dane comes untitled as we feel owners should use names of their own. If you are unsure, we have listed below a few names our owners like to use:
Sh****ad
Nutjob
You’re kidding me
Is that yours?
Don’t you dare
Ok, you
As***le
Put that down
Why?
Get that out of your mouth

The zipper: We ask you not to try to open a Great Dane's zipper on their back as this will invalidate your one hour warranty. Rumours that they are merely toddlers in a dog suit is highly contested.

Software: Your Great Dane is pre-installed with the highest software and hardware. This includes the loyalty chip, the steal the dinner chip, fun chip, the biting chip and, of course, the highly popular mayhem chip. They are all running on the Whatthehell operating system 12.2. Although this has been in circulation for many years, we have found it simply cannot be improved upon.

Should you have any queries you can reach us on 1800-what-did-I-do

Thank you.

We hope you have many years of enjoyment with your Great Dane.

Please be aware that by the time you have read this, your warranty will have run out.
Unfortunately, we do not renew warranties and we do not offer refunds or returns..ever. It’s your problem now.

**borrowed from elsewhere**

17/05/2021

17/05/2021

Happy birthday Gus. Today you are 3!