06/07/2023
**He or she** THAT FEELING...SOMETHING IS WRONG....it may not be your first impression. There may be something about what the person says or does, or how they act, that sets off your inner red flag.
Gavin de Becker is a security expert and author of "The Gift of Fear". We don't normally think of fear as a gift, since the narc made us feel afraid. But "good fear" can be our protector.
Gavin de Becker emphasizes that when we should always trust that feeling we get that something's not right. He says that "unlike any other living creature, humans will sense danger, yet still walk right into it, and that's what we must not do." Or intuition records EVERYTHING.
Gavin says we may get high levels of anxiety from ignoring that something is very wrong. "So when she [or he] started getting panics attacks, her [his] intuition is saying, basically, 'You're not going to listen? Okay, I'll ramp it up. I'll give you panic attacks. You want sleepless nights? I'll give you sleepless nights."
Trusting yourself and your gut feeling is especially important when leaving a narcissist. If you think they may harm you, then you should take serious precautions.
And when trying again, consider what the expert says. Gavin says that "eerie feeling" is exactly what he wants women [men] to pay attention to. "We're trying to analyze the warning signs," he says. "And what I really want to teach today and forever is the feeling is the warning sign. All the other stuff is our explanation for the feeling. Why it was this, why it was that. The feeling itself is the warning sign." [men, too]
If a new person seems too good to be true....yikes! Even during the love bombing, your alarm bells are going off. Especially of your boundaries are not respected. "Anytime someone doesn't hear "no", it means they're trying to control you."