18/06/2024
I just had to share this..."Im fairly new to the cattle thing but a life long horse owner. Starting to question whether I’ve been under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug most of my life. Some early observations on the differences:
🐎 Put one mare out with one stallion, all hell let’s loose. Mare threatens to come through the fence or over the gate, all at 400 mph. My heart rate peaks at 1257 bpm and I have no fingernails left. After what feels like an eternity they calm down. Mare lame. Multi million pound vet bill pending.
🐄 Put one bull out with 18 cows. Complete non event. Absolutely nothing to report.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
🐎Remove one horse from ‘friend’ that it has always hated. Absolute pandemonium ensues. Life flashes before my eyes and I remember I must renew the life insurance if I survive this.
🐄Remove one cow from entire herd. Comes quietly for handful of beef nuts.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
🐎Horses breakout of field. Horses have complete meltdown at lack of boundaries. No amount of ‘woahing’ or bucket shaking will calm them. After many laps of the farm they forget why they are running. Two are lame, one is tying up, one suspected soft tissue injury and one half hearted attempt at a colic. Further multi million pound vet bill pending.
🐄Cattle break out of field. Ringleader is wearing the 7 bar gate as a necklace. All cows congregate approximately 2 ft from field at nearest grass verge. Remove necklace from ringleader. Not a mark to be seen. Wave magic blue wand. All cows returned to field.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
🐎Comes in from field with 1cm scratch that has barely removed hair. Immediately clean, apply bandage, check available balance on credit card. Next morning horse can only stand on 3 legs. Call vet and priest. After all, horse will require many millions in vets bills and divine intervention to recover from its scratch.
🐄Comes in missing a leg with rusted barbed wire embedded in the wound. Call vet who says there’s no need for him to come out and will put up antibiotics for you to collect. Return to administer antibiotics to find cow has miraculously regrown leg and shows no sign injury or lameness. Stash antibiotics in medicine cupboard with the rest of the hoard."
