29/11/2021
https://www.facebook.com/196997877512017/posts/1026032504608546/
A very difficult part about owning and training a dog actually has nothing to do with the dog .. but with other people who cannot keep their mouth shut (isnât that the truth for many areas of life!).
Itâs those people who offer their opinion and unsolicited feedback on your dog and your training progress. I am sure all of you have at some point been at the receiving end of a thoughtless comment that really hurt and stayed on your mind for a long time.
Just last weekend, it happened to me. As you may know, my little dog Party was attacked by an off-leash dog a few months ago. While he has made progress, he is by no means completely relaxed in any new situation with other dogs yet.
At an agility trial a week ago he was not in the state of mind I had hoped, and someone made a quick and thoughtless remark about him. It made me cry. And it had me think about how many dog owners experience this every day.
Yesterday I got an email from an online student who has been working with her dog diligently.
And while the dog has been progressing nicely, the snarky question âDo you even train your dog?â Was posed to her. She was disheartened - putting in all the work and then being asked this âŠ
First of all: If YOU are one who says things like this, you need to stop and think before stuff exists your mouth. Itâs hurtful, itâs pointless and it saddens the person youâre talking to.
BUT if you are at the receiving end of these comments ⊠hereâs the thing.
What other people comment on your dog and your training is *their narrative*. You do not have to make it yours. You do not have to allow their story to have any impact on your story.
You know what an example of my own narratives is? I donât like turkey. It just doesnât taste good to me.
Now, if I was to walk around and tell people âI donât like turkeyâ, do you think it would ruin their day? Of course not. Theyâd think âStrange oversharing but whatever, Steffi!â And move on with their life and enjoy turkey whenever they want.
They wouldnât let my own dislike of turkey impact their story.
And you know what? You CAN view unsolicited comments about your dog the same way!
IF other people tell you that your dog seems untrained or that your dog is stubborn and bad or will never improve ⊠just imagine the words that come out of their mouth are âI donât like turkey.â
When they say âYour dog hasnât improvedâ imagine them saying âI donât like turkey.â When they say âYour dog is just too wound up to ever be normalâ imagine them saying âI donât like turkey.â
(Sounds ridiculous? Yes, because oversharing oneâs opinion in a setting that doesnât ask for it is!!)
Shrug and think âOk. But thatâs not my narrative.â And move on.
Not my monkey, not my circus - not your narrative, not your story.
Donât let others opinion about turkey or your dog ruin your day. You cannot change how others behave - but you CAN change how you react to it and whether or not it impacts your life :)
Happy Training!