05/06/2021
Spot on!!
HOW TO PREPARE YOUR HOME & FAMILY FOR A GREAT DANE
1) Lift a 200 lb bag of wet sand up and down the stairs
2) Push a 200 lb bag of wet sand into your car
3) Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV, while you're at it, smear the lower half of all windows, curtains and glass
4) Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle
5) At least twice daily, drop that 200 lb bag of wet sand on your bare foot
6) Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house daily (add water for rainy days)
7) Practice repeating "Great Dane", about 160 pounds…4-6 cups a day…"no, I don’t have a saddle” over and over with a smile
8 ) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their p**p
9) Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom while you are using it
10) Practice telling people that your husband/ boyfriend does NOT beat you, that those bruises are from your dog!
11) Take a nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male where he doesn't like to be hit and smack your own legs a few times too
12) Have someone operate a chain saw at the foot of your bed all night...record this and play it every night close to your ear
13) Have your kids, husband, wife, significant other & even friends continuously and randomly lick your face and spit on you so you build up a tolerance to all the drool and slobber kisses you will be getting
14) Practice sitting & on the floor as well as other hard surfaces as you will most likely have no room on your sofa. Your behind needs to toughen up
15) Sleep with at least 2 people in your bed because 1 Dane in your bed is equivalent to 2 people that constantly toss, turn and hit you in the head multiple times a night. Don't fool yourself into thinking that they won't be on your bed. 150 lbs WILL be jumping on you in the middle of the night just because they want to snuggle
Prepare for total unconditional love.
