01/04/2023
When is it time to say Goodbye?
It’s the day no one wants to think about. As an animal lover, especially one with a dog with a life limiting condition this question is something I’ve had to have conversations about. Just the anticipatory grief is enough to knock me sideways, so just the thought of having to say goodbye breaks my heart.
Sometimes, we have to take a step away, and look as objectively as we can. Are we ignoring the signs? Are they ready to go?
Here’s an informative post from Clark’s farm. Helping understand general signs to keep an eye out for and the process that follows.
Hug your dogs, cats, horses, birds, whatever species is your thing. The one and only downside of being an animal lover, owning pets, is they just don’t live long enough and having to say goodbye. So cherish every single day ♥️
OWNERS ASK US
When is it time to say goodbye?
It is never easy to lose our canine companions, or any animal companion for that matter. When the end does inevitably come, all we can wish for is that they pass peacefully, and quietly, in their sleep at a lovely old age.
Sadly, this rarely happens, and it is far more often the case that we have to make that dreaded decision so that they are no longer in discomfort, pain, or distress. Making the decision is not easy, and not something that can be made lightly, as to say goodbye to your dog is akin to losing a part of yourself, and your family.
However, despite the difficulty, making this decision is one of the kindest and most empathetic things you can do for your dog. For you are allowing them to go in peace rather than continuing to struggle through illness, injury or age-related conditions that are impeding on their happiness and welfare.
The problem is making the decision is very personal to you and the situation.
We get so many phone calls from distraught owners asking us to tell them that it is time and reassure them that they are doing the right thing...but like with the vets, we cannot tell people what to do. We can only provide options and advise best we can. The decision though, must be your own, and ultimately, it comes down to the dog’s welfare. If you don’t believe that your dog is able to live fully, happily, and healthily, then you are right to let them go.
You know your dog, you know what is normal and what is not normal for them...so only you can understand when it is time...but at the end of the day dogs do often tell us, in their own way, when they are ready to go and if they don’t, you will know in your gut that it is the right decision.
Whether it is old age, a chronic medical condition or otherwise, there are signs that it may be time:
- They may have stopped eating, or will only eat really nice things like treats or meat
- They may be losing a lot of weight/body condition
- Their legs may not support them the way they used to and are having falls
- They may become incontinent or forgetful
- They aren’t playing or interacting the way they once did
- They simply may just not seem happy anymore.
- Medications may only be a band aid fix but not solve the problem
- They may be in discomfort or distress, or there may not be any further treatment available for what ails them.
While we never want to consider that the day will come, it is important to feel prepared. It is something worth discussing with your vet in advance, so to know your options and be able to make informed decisions on the day.
However, when you make that decision, what happens next? What should you expect to happen when you book your dog into the vets for the final goodbye?
We want to demystify this sad and inevitable event that all pet owners go through...
Although it sounds like it will be, it isn’t a scary, traumatic experience...it is generally a very quiet and peaceful affair. While there are several options available now to have a vet come to your home to say goodbye in familiar surrounds, generally it will take place at the veterinary practice. When you arrive and check in, the vet will take your dog through the back, leaving you to wait in reception, so to place a catheter in their leg and get everything ready.
You will be asked if you would like a communal cremation or individual. With the communal cremation, you don’t receive the ashes back but instead they are scattered by the cremation service in a memorial garden. If you choose individual cremation, the ashes will be sent to your vet for you to collect when you are ready.
There are a lot of options for the ashes, you can get some beautiful urns, you can have them turned into jewellery or other keepsakes so they can always stay with you. You can scatter them on their favourite walks or bury them in your garden.
You don’t have to have the ashes back, not everyone does, some just like to have their dogs ‘back’ with them, as it were.
You will then be invited into the room to be with them. You don’t have to, not everyone choses to stay with their dog for this part, and that’s okay, but if you can be with them then at least they will be in the arms of people that love them when the time comes.
The vet will explain what will happen next and support you through it. In a nutshell, they’ll ask you to hold, stroke and speak to your dog as they inject the medication into the catheter. From the dog’s perspective, they get very sleepy and very quickly, peacefully drift away in a matter of seconds. You will feel them go limp and with the vets help they will be laid down.
After they have laid down, the vet will confirm they are gone...It is quick, peaceful, and painless and thereafter you can stay with them and say goodbye for as long as you need.
When it is all finished, you have said your goodbyes and are ready to leave, you will leave your dog with the vets (you can take their collar and tag if you wish!) and they will handle the rest.
Saying goodbye will leave a big aching hole in your heart, and it will stay there for a long time, but it does get easier with time.
You will (hopefully) have years of happy memories with them which will keep you company and help soothe the pain of losing them and then one day, when you are feeling ready, you may wish to take another beautiful hound into your heart and home again.