14/11/2024
Love this post, so well said.
We see and hear many comments from people stating that with love, patience, and time, the dog who is engaging in (insert any unwanted, reactive, aggressive, or bad behavior) will be okay. But here's the thing, we have to get away from that toxic belief. That approach gets you and the dog nowhere. Instead, it only puts you farther down the rabbit hole.
It’s not a deficiency of love that’s creating the issues. What we typically see is the overabundance of it that’s creating the problems or a complete lack of structure and boundaries.
Here’s something to remember: while we work with some very challenging dogs, and are able to regularly turn them into much safer, happier, healthier dogs, it’s never due to the love we share. Although we care deeply about all the dogs we work with, and we do love our jobs, we aren’t bathing dogs in love and affection to turn them around.
Typically, we’re being tough, strict, and playing very hard to get with all our interactions. At some point, we’re usually able to soften up and share some affection, but that ONLY happens AFTER the proper relationship dynamics have been set in place. Only after they put their teeth away. Only after they stop being reactive. Only after the aggressiveness goes away. Only after the nervousness goes away. Only after we move through insecurities and fears. Only after....
Owners either want to skip the hard stuff and jump right to the fun, easy, rewarding stuff—or they simply are unaware of how dog/human relationships are built in a healthy fashion. They see the cute happy-go-lucky pup and smother them in affection only to have some major behavior issue hiccups arise a couple of months down the road. Why? Because there was no leadership from the owner.
And wherever that decision emanates from, the fallout is the same: messy dogs. Dogs who won’t get better because more love was shared with them, but it will most definitely get worse.
Why does your trainer get such great results? Is it just timing, mechanics, and training knowledge? Or, perhaps, do they happen to know something else you don’t. Something that helped them discover the other answers.
Let’s just say that the actual training isn’t the hard part. The hard part is learning to understand you, your dog, and your life.
So if “love” means learning how to lead, guide, and help, even when help isn’t fun or comfortable, then “love” away.