08/12/2025
āConfessions of a Riding School Saintā
Hello, human.
Yes, you ā the one still trying to find the correct diagonal.
Iām the riding-school horse you meet once a week. You call me āsteady,ā āsafe,ā or, when I donāt immediately burst into extended trot, ālazy.ā Iāve carried hundreds like you ā some with bouncing enthusiasm, others with a death-grip on the reins and a look that says, āPlease, not canter.ā
Every rider brings their own style. Some kick like theyāre starting a lawnmower. Some perch like a baby giraffe learning ballet. One even tried ānatural horsemanshipā by whispering at me for twenty minutes. (I admired the effort, but grass would have been more persuasive.)
I do my best to translate. But itās tricky when one person wants me to go forward, the next to collect, and the next to ājust feel the rhythmā while clamping both legs and pulling on my face. Youād be confused too.
Sometimes, when the messages get too loud or too mixed, I tune out. You call it ālazy.ā I call it āself-preservation.ā You see, my job isnāt easy ā I must keep everyone safe while pretending your seat bones arenāt trying to send Morse code in three languages at once.
Iāve met every training philosophy going: āforward fixes everything,ā ānever use the leg,ā āride from the seat,ā and my favorite ā ājust sit deeper!ā (Usually shouted as the rider performs a mid-arena levitation.)
But Iāve also met kindness. The quiet rider who remembers to breathe, softens their hand, and says āgoodā when I try. Thatās when I lift my back, stretch my neck, and remember what partnership feels like.
I donāt care about levels or ribbons. I care that you try to understand me. That you see me not as a piece of gym equipment but as a partner ā one who has to process your nerves, your posture, and your Spotify playlist of contradictory aids.
So before you call a horse lazy, ask yourself: am I clear? Calm? Consistent?
Because the truth is, Iām not stubborn ā Iām exhausted from reading mixed signals.
If you listen, Iāll listen. If you work on you, Iāll meet you halfway ā maybe even with a flying change if Iām feeling fancy.
After all, Iām not just your ride. Iām your mirror, your teacher, and occasionally, your unpaid therapist.
Now, pat me. Iāve earned it.
Author: Gary A Diploma