08/12/2025
Let’s talk about Grits.
I think sometimes people think I exaggerate, but I can promise. I don’t.
This dog was not an easily adoptable dog. He’s a dog that has to be managed every day.
He has separation anxiety. He literally can not be left alone. We have changed our lives and our routine to be what he needs. We only get to go out if we have a sitter for him, or we go out separately. This includes simple things like going to the grocery store, and eating at restaurants.
He startles easily. He also does not enjoy strangers touching him. He sometimes barks at strangers in public. The only way someone can approach him is if they give him a treat, which he will take, but still will not tolerate being touched.
If someone comes to our house he has to be on leash. The new person has to give him a treat and then totally ignore him until he comes to them, even then petting has to be kept to a minimum. I do not even pet him unless he approaches me to be pet, and I stop as soon as he shows any sign that he’s overstimulated.
Even though he tolerates some people touching him he still gets startled and will snap/correct occasionally. Even with me and Matt.
He doesn’t like meeting other dogs on leash. We were able to get him used to my parents dogs, and my exes dogs, but it was a slow process. He’s not a dog that can ever be taken to a dog bar or dog park.
He’s also sweet, goofy, and incredibly smart. He knows so many signs. He “listens” the first time you tell him something. He loves giving neck kisses, and cuddling under blankets, and is an amazing traveler.
It’s not easy, but it has absolutely been worth it. It’s made me a better person. I’ve always been an empath, but having to make so many changes to my life to be what something else needs me to be has changed me.
Some dogs are harder than others, but the right person is always out there. Even if you have to do the work to become the right person. When a special needs person is born into a family that family often learns to adapt and care for the persons needs, but because 3 million dogs enter the shelter system in the US every year with that many options alone no one is obligated to choose the special needs ones. Most people can easily justify not choosing the special needs dogs because the “perfect” dog is there at the shelter or rescue too. Special needs dogs have a much higher chance of never finding a family, and being euthanized.
I want to stress that not all deaf or special needs dogs are like Grits. He’s an extreme case because he has multiple challenges (deaf, generalized anxiety and separation anxiety). I’m just using him as an example because he’s mine, and I know with certainty he would not have made it to 9 (almost 10) if I had not adopted him.
I think we need to reframe “disability” in general for people and animals. Just because a person or animal needs special accommodations to have the best quality of life possible does not make them less than. We’ve also chosen to domesticate dogs, so it’s on us as humans to educate ourselves and be the best possible stewards.
Off my soap box now.
