Tortie and the Land Shark

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Tortie and the Land Shark Cats. On the internet. You need more than that? Rey (tortie) and Olivia (Land Shark) are hilarious, and I want to share the joy with all. O.J.

Rey (aka: Phanton) is a 12 year old tortie adopted on July 5, 2016. Olivia (aka: Kanga) is a >1 year old monster of a kitten adopted January 7, 2017. I (the narrator) am their humble house servant. Sitcom-esque hilarity ensues.

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Rey likes:
+The Narrator; wet food (tie for first place)
+Bacon
+Other people who give her atten

tion
+Warming her butt near the heater

Rey dislikes:
-Olivia

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Olivia likes:
+Rey, Rey, and more Rey
+Playing with Rey
+Stealing food from Rey
+Bopping Rey on the head with her paw
+Chasing Rey
+Dropping down from heights (chair, dining room table, bed) onto an unsuspecting Rey
+Scooting so she's eventually sleeping on top of Rey
+Singing along with Rey the song of their ancestors insisting on more Wet Food
+Attacking while cuddling
+Attacking while playing
+Attacking
+Playing in the wet shower
+Moving things around the house
+Bringing the Narrator gifts in bed
+The People v. Simpson: American Crime Story

Olivia dislikes:
-Sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time

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Our Story

It all started with a little 12 year old perpetually sick 4 pound cat (Rey, aka Tortie) and a sneaky little kitten (Olivia, aka Land Shark) in 2017.

Hilarity ensued. Since then, the cast has changed a bit. Samwise the cat was adopted July 2018. Rey, very unfortunately, passed in March 2019. Xena (also a tiny tortie) walked into a friend’s house and decided she didn’t want to be a barn cat anymore, so she moved in with us two days after Rey passed. September 2019, Parker the puppy (black lab/blue heeler mix) exploded onto the scene pretty much flipping everything upside-down, and Xena moved out November 2019.

And throughout it all, I post about them obsessively.

These are their stories.