Emory Da Cat

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21/03/2025

It is with great sadness that we lost Emory.

He fought til the end. His last post is below:

Hello peeps.

This will be my last post. I am ill and feeling very tired. I just wanted to post something to leave you guys with.

Don't cry for me. I had a great life and I was loved beyond imagining. My mom and my dad were always there for me and they loved me more than I probably should have been. (Nah I was perfect.)

It has gotten harder for me to get around, eat, breath, or meow. But I have been a good little cat (wasn't I always? See I still have it) and I want to thank everyone for being there for me whether in person, on here, or at a distance.

Please stick by my mom. This will be very hard on her. Dad too but he won't admit it. Isn't that the way? Please remind them that there is room in their hearts for another cat. Of course it won't be like Emory Da Cat but we can't all be perfect now can we?

I will give Ashy, Do**us Paws, and all the other animals that mom has cared for and loved a big hug when I see them.

And Mom, when you least expect it, a cat that needs you will show up and when he or she does, I will be there to "train" him or her right.

I love you.

Emory Da Cat

Emory did not suffer. He went peacefully. There will never be another Emory, but then that's exactly how he would want it.

27/06/2022

Dearest Humans,

It's been a very long time since I have posted and a lot of things have happened. Most not very ...shall we say nice?

I could go into all the negative things but I am Emory Da Cat and frankly it bores me to do so.

I will say that my dearest friend in the world passed. Ash. My brother, my partner in crime, my buddy. He is in Kitty Heaven having a wonderful time playing and eating and sleeping. Kinda like he did here.

The world... well the world sucks lemons right now. And I for one am tired of it all. Wake up people. Stop being so mean to each other. Don't make the cat population teach you all how to behave. You won't like it.

So, stop it. Stop the hate, the discord, the separation, the insanity. Go out and get a cat. Adopt one from the shelter. Save one from a hoarder. Get a cat and then you will not be worrying about what other people are doing or saying. You will be seeing to the needs of your cat and that my friends is what life should be all about!

Peace, be kind, and don't make me come over there.

15/12/2020

Hello fellow humans and cats. Ok and the do**us paws of the world blah blah blah.

It’s been a while. I know you were missing me. Of course you were!

Well this will be a serious post. Yeah yeah stop it! I can’t be cute And funny all the time.

I alas am getting older, a bit slower, and whatever the hell that comes next. What??? Mim says hell and no one bats an eye. Oh no the cat say hell and the world is shocked!!

Sigh, moving on. Yeah I am getting older. Mim has stated giving me this nasty ass Nutrical. CRAP!

So it says that it is some kind of caloric stuff that tastes good? Bull! It sucks! And dad has to hold me while Mim forces. Yes forces me to take it!!!

It’s a good thing I adore Mim!

Sigh. Oh well. If it means that I am around for many years to bug the hell outta outta do**us paws then I will take it.

Peace!

01/12/2019

Ok I do not do this very often but my Mim would really like to help this dog. Not sure why but who understands humans? She is a rather nice looking dog. Anyone want to make mu Mim happy and save a dog. Plus it gives me plenty of brownie aka treat points!!!

29/08/2019

Greetings Humans! Yes, it is I, Emory Da Cat. What? You thought that I had moved to Canada? Or that Do**us Paws had finally gotten revenge and I was stuffed behind the dryer? Pish Posh. (yes that is a phrase because I said so) The day that smelly, dog thing can get the best of me is the day.... well nevermind, I don't tell all my secrets.
The reason I am with you today, (as if I need one, you guys love me and you know it) is that my Mim has had a sadness that I must address. Her beloved fish Gideon (GiddyBear, hey Mim is Mim) has gone to that great fish bowl in the sky. Or where ever fish go. For the life of me (get it? Life? Too soon?) I just don’t know how Mim can love something that had bug eyes, smelled, (really? You’ve never smell a fish? Where have you people been?) and the only goal in life was to swim, eat, and well you know the rest. Ok ok, some people would maybe dare to say that we cats have the same goal with a few differences. I say… PISH POSH! But this isn’t about me (for once, don’t get used to it). Anyway, Mim was, is, (whatever) sad. But there is hope! Yes there is hope peeps! Just this morning, Mim was singing in a stupid Do**us voice about giving out treats. Ok, I have to insert something here. Mim can sing, so don’t be getting your hairballs in a twist. Back to my story, sheesh, do I have to explain everything? Mim gave out treats! So I think she is gonna be ok.
Now, for those that don’t know it, I have been writing a book. And for a mere $90000 dollars a copy, you too can read my thoughts. *sigh* Ok ok, Mim says that I can’t say that. (just did ha!) But, seriously folks, (I’ve always wanted to call you guys that! Bah ha ha ha) I have a book! “Chronicles of a Feline” Catchy huh? But of course Mim being an honest Mim made me to tack on “Rantings of a Delusional Cat” Whatever. Watch for it on the bestseller’s list! As if, it wouldn’t be. Until later, be sweet, be nice to your cats, and remember Mim’s stupid ugly fish in your prayers tonight.

04/03/2019

Hello Humans!

I realize I have not posted in a while. Please I am a cat. I do want I want.

But never the less, I will update you on my life.

I am perfect. End of story.

What? You want more? Of course you do.

I don't follow politics, or the weather, or other such nonsense.

I do however know when Do**us Paws goes in and out and makes the wind come sweeping in the house. What is it with that dog? In and out! Make up your mind .

I would be remiss if I didn't mention Mim and the fact that she put me in time out! Time out! Me! Emory Da Cat. The world has gone insane!

And just because I was having a disagreement with Ash. A minor little scuffle that sent my Mim into orbit. There might have been some biting involved, Ash might have cried, but there is no video so I highly deny any fault!

But Mim made me go to my room. I love my Mim but I am sure that time out made me feel a little sick and it is NOT my fault that she found a hairball in her bedroom floor.

Being the kind and loving cat that I am, I have forgiven Mim. Ashy? Not so much. Do**us Paws? (Even though he was no where around). Nope!

Until next time.... Peace out humans.

05/10/2018

Happy Friday to all. Yep you have missed me I know, but please don't all rush to post!

How has my life been you ask? Well it's been treats, and toys, and Do**us Paws, and Ashy. Routine as usual. Except... (now you know there was an except, I don't use the word "but" it is droll and commonplace and I am not either of those things)

Mim has taken over the back room. Now, I do have my , shall I call it "apartment"? (ya ya, Ashy is reminding me that it's a large walk in closet, sheesh). I am not unhappy about sharing the space of the back room (which is attached to my apartment). BUT... I am not happy about all the plants that Mim has put in there. Now don't get me wrong, plants are wonderful creatures. But, for you people who did not know, when you try to taste a plant, or attempt to see what is in the dirt, well let's just say that Mim goes insane. Oh yes, my wonderful Mim (I said that becasue she will read this) So all the shrieking, and arm waving is a bit distracting when you are concentrating on a lovely, tasty leaf.

Needless to say.... I will not be tasting any more leaves. And that is sad.... (I expect sympathy here peeps)

But.. the good thing in all this??? I can sit in the window and terrorize.... ooops wave at Do**us Paws, and his "buds" that live behind us.

Life is good.

21/07/2018

Sigh.... I am going to do a PSA. I shouldn't have to do a PSA but of course there are still people out there that need a PSA. For those that don't know what a PSA is... no it's not a Please Stay Away (although sometimes I like that idea!!!-- hey I'm a cat I never know what my mood is gonna be). PSA is Public Service Announcement...

For all those wonderful pet owners in the world... you can read on or you can go sit down and let your cat sit on your lap.

For the others, listen up... It is freaking HOT OUTSIDE. Let's look at it from another angle.... IT IS FREAKING HOT OUTSIDE.

Now, once again I shouldn't have to say this... (blah blah blah) if you have an animal outside (dog, cat, hippo, baboon whatever) please make sure that they have plenty of fresh water, shade, and oh the hell with it (yes I can say that I am Emory Da Cat ... but don't tell mim....shhhhhh) bring those babies in!!!! Even Do**us Paws comes in. (although the dork wants right back outside, I do NOT understand that dog...)

If you can't stand to be outside in 107 bizillion degrees, why should your pet?

So, let's not see your mug on the evening news about leaving your pet outside and I better NEVER hear of you leaving even a Do**us, drooling, slimey canine in the car!!!!!! Because I can find you and I know how to shred shoes, clothes, bedding, and people.

Take care, keep cool, and send treats... oops gotta go, here comes mim!!!!!!

09/07/2018

Discrimination!

Yes you heard/read it. Discrimination!

Why are there only police DOGS? Why not Police Cats? As we all know, cats are fearless, intelligent, loyal, psychic (hey stop it I know you are laughing see!! psychic!) and so many more things that I will not take the time to point out to you who should already know these facts!!!!

We could wear bullet proof vests, although we do have lightning fast reflexes.

And another thought comes to mind.... Gun makers!!! I would say I have a "bone" to pick with you guys, but as I am a cat... that would be stupid.... But....it seems that I Emory Da Cat cannot get a concealed license. Yes! I know, shocking isn't it! But the problem is not where to carry the gun, (please people this is a G-rated area) it's the fact that there are no pistols made that are THUMB-LESS!!!!!!

The world is cruel.

24/05/2018

Wedding... smedding. Where's the treats?

I am not a big complainer (stop it, that kind of laughter will get you locked up). I do however want everyone to know that is coming for this Wedding, that Emory Da Cat will be looking for laps to sit in, treats to eat, and shoe laces to untie.

I will NOT however be looking for the silly cooing of "oh what a beautiful cat" "how big you have gotten Emory" "how's our widdle guy doing".

First off, I know I am beautiful, I am a healthy cat, and what the hell is a "widdle"?

So, in the interest of my not leaving a nice hairball in your shoe when you are not looking, please keep to the rules.

Oh yeah and Congrats Hairless Brother of mine. Now get your junk outta my room. (wow I think I just channeled Mim!!!!)

17/05/2018

Well I knew that Mim was weird but this week has been "special weird". So, being the inquisitive cat that I am, I started actually paying attention to the humans and what they are saying, (of course I understand, duh).

So this is the last week of Mim's Clinic. Now, you would think (since I'm not overly fond of kids), that she would be happy that she would no longer have to deal with the noise, and the smell (yes kids smell) and the chaos, did I mention the noise???

But... no.. she is sad. She for some reason she likes those smelling little noisemakers. I cannot figure that one out, and there is not alot in this world that I can't figure out people!!!

So, I also heard that she will be out of a job at the end of June. Well, while I for one would like to have a lap to sit in more, I also do NOT want her to chase me with the vacuum, or have shrieking fits when I hack up a hairball on her shoe. SO....

If there is anyone out there that can think of a job for her, please let me know! Because frankly if I have to sit with her for days on end, I just might lose my kitty cat mind and we ALL know that would not be good for Mim, the family and the world in general.

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