Rufus

23/10/2023

Just having a snooze after my nap 💤 (volume up)

17/07/2022

A tip to keep your p***y cat cool in this heatwave...doing a full spready in front of an oscillating fan for 6+hours

01/07/2022

My name is Rufus and I thoroughly enjoy having my botty slapped in time to No Limits by 2 Unlimited.

12/05/2022

As you know, I will now tolerate sitting on FHH's lap. I am also her minder when she uses her litter tray. This morning I thought I'd combine the two. It didn't end well. Let's just say I don't like wet paws especially when the wetness is yellow.

26/02/2022

Just me being cute

16/02/2022

My first selfie (FHH held phone. I chose pose and took the picture).

12/02/2022

Been to see the vet today. I was told I was a "handsome boy" and in "excellent shape". I'd even dropped a few g's.

17/12/2021

https://fb.watch/9YsMcD2aHa/

30/11/2021

I've got a new game! I call it "Twanging the Twanger". It goes like this: FHH has a chair with a sticky out handle on the side (the "Twanger") when one twangs this twanger, it makes a lovely twanging noise and sometimes, if I twang the twanger extra hard, FHH's chair drops down. I find it hilarious and highly entertaining. FHH, not so much, especially this afternoon when she was talking to the screen in front of her and suddenly disappeared. She then kept saying sorry to the screen. All very odd.

By the way, FHH calls my new game the "whatthef**kareyoudoingnowyouannoyinglittlebastard" or "ohforf**kssakestopitIamtryingtowork".

The game shall continue.

09/10/2021

After an intense chase and consumption of the spider, I sleep. If anyone says I'm snoring, they're lying.

19/08/2021

Today I joined something called a "Teams" meeting. I got to show everyone my nice clean scrunchie before FHH put me on the floor. How rude. Who wouldn't want to see my scrunchie!? I bet FHH's bosses would!

08/08/2021

I need to make something clear: I am an adult and am therefore more than capable of looking after my own personal hygiene/grooming regime. I do not need or want FHH's assistance. I have therefore come up with a defence mechanism to prevent this from happening - the silent release of a deadly and noxious gas (or "farting" as the FHH so delightfully puts it). As soon as FHH touches me with the brush, out it comes. There's a delay of a second or two whilst my botty perfume fills the air and this is followed by FHH's usual potty mouthed diatribe, and then she's off, leaving me to lick and groom myself. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

23/07/2021

18/07/2021

Betty swallocks

27/06/2021

Bedtime

26/06/2021

Bath time

09/06/2021

Somewhere to rest my paw

26/05/2021

Catching the last rays of the day

21/05/2021

I've got a new game. It's called "Hide and Screech". Rules are quite basic - I sneak into the airing cupboard and nestle down for a nice sleep in the pile of warm (and somewhat smelly) dirty laundry whilst FHH runs round the house in a mad panic looking for me, swearing at NHH that he must have "leftthef**kingdooropen"! Seriously, the language was bad, even for her. I was eventually located/awoken. I found it quite amusing, FHH not no much...

27/04/2021

It's been ages since my last post. Sorry about that. It's due to the Humans constantly being home over the last few months which has meant no computer time for me. I did consider getting a tablet, but having tried using FHH's one and scratching the screen, I didn't feel I could justify the expense (especially after all that swearing...she's got such a pottymouth!).

Anyhoo, NHH doesn't seem to be here as often now so here I am! Have you missed me?!?

The good news is that the Humans have finally passed their training and I now get breakfast at 4am. They do look like zombies at that time of the morning and there's no pre-dining chitchat, but I can live with that. I'm also allowing them to have me sit on their lap, but only briefly and only if there is a soft blanket for me to rest my fluffy butt on, minimal stroking and no talking. They seem pleased.

23/12/2020

One for the ladies

23/12/2020

It's been a long time since I last graced you with my presence. This has been due to the NHH "working" from home so I couldn't get on the computer. Tut. The FHH seems to be out longer now during the day and no longer comes home smelling of p**p. Strange. Anyway merry Christmas and all that and hopefully I'll have more screen time next year.

16/06/2020

My name is Rufus and I like my butt being slapped. Not too hard, just enough to make a nice "slappy" sound. Makes me purr and dribble slightly. Thank you.

04/06/2020

It's official. I am a HOOLIGAN. I have just punched my way through the cat flap which was locked shut and now it's swinging back and forth merrily in the wind. The house is now on lock down with guards being placed inside and out to prevent my escape.

28/05/2020

I'm not evil.

18/05/2020

Not my chair. Does it look like I care?

15/05/2020

Not my seat. Does it look like I care?

03/05/2020

BREAKING NEWS: I just had a fight. I won even though I never touched him. It had to be broken up before I crashed through the window to tear the gizzards out of the pink nosed interloper who p**ped himself in fear. No one trespasses in my backyard and gets away with it. I'm now licking my banana to calm down (no innuendo intended)

28/03/2020

23/02/2020

From now on I will be known as Slasher. Apparently it's something to do with scaling the headboard and not quite making it to the top before falling off and landing on FHH's face. Yes, there was blood (not mine thankfully) and yes there may be need for a visit to a&e followed by some reconstructive surgery (again not me) but to have to change my name on all my documentation and accounts seems a bit excessive if you ask me.