Amy Skinner Horsemanship

20/12/2024

They say expectation is the mother of resentment. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t at some points gone into a learning situation expecting a tip or validation, only to be met with constructive criticism, or hearing that my basics needed renovating.

It hurts. It sucks. But, what are you gonna do about it?

There’s quite a bit of discussion around the delivery of criticism. Some folks are of the mind that it must be delivered perfectly, by the right person, in the right tone, with the wind coming only from the north and certainly not when mercury is in retrograde…

Some folks believe anything non validating is “hating,” and refuse to hear it. They share inspirational quotes about empowerment and straightening your crown and such.

Personally, I believe empowerment is the ability to take anything offered and make it work for you. This means I don’t believe the tone has to be perfect, or that the motivation of the criticism has to even be good. I don’t believe the teacher has to say it nicely, and I don’t believe it has to be perfectly timed. I’m here for one thing and one thjng only: to grow. And that means I am going to take anything thrown at me and use it to build.

That’s not to say I don’t get butthurt. I certainly do. And as a teacher myself, I won’t be hurling criticism at my students, and I will do my best to give the Ole Compliment Sandwich. I try to have good intentions for my students when delivering the not so fun input.

And this is certainly not to say you have to be around people who only criticize, or don’t do you any good. Everyone gets to decide who to let into their weird little world, and who doesn’t get to play with their toys. It’s good for the soul sometimes to fire people.

But I, perhaps arrogantly, believe the world is mine and nothing so silly as poorly worded criticism can stop me. And that’s how I see empowerment: learning from every situation, regardless of how rough the edges are. I don’t have time to wait for the perfect teacher to say the perfect words of encouragement on a perfect day: I can’t be stopped because I don’t want to be. And I wish this for you too.

19/12/2024

A teacher devoted to the craft of horsemanship does not need to wave in your face what they know and what they can do - they put their focus instead on what the student needs, here and now. You rarely hear these true teachers boast on their own abilities. Their desire is not to look good, but to serve : the horse, the student, and the world.

19/12/2024

18/12/2024

17/12/2024

Sometimes at night,
when the babies’ sleeping bellies rise and fall
my mind drifts
From my warm house with plenty,
The fat lazy cat curled on a pillow
And a closet full of clothes

Toward chilly fingers stiffly working a rope
With an electric c**t on the other end
Walking the jagged edges of frozen ground carefully
Quick footsteps and sharp snorts
And the eagerness to get a first ride done for a few dollars

I remember wet saddles in winter rains
And riding fences in a hurricane to check on the herd,
My mare and I with our heads down, her jigging, me straining to see
Through a curtain of angry precipitation

Evenings no longer cold and alone
But now, the smell of onions browning
And herbs wafting, creating anticipation

I scrub what the kids throw off the ground
And scrape the waste into the trash

I see their happy, full bellies in the bath
Surrounded by a kings choice of toys; and I smile

But I often remember
The delight of first having heat
After bundling up with blankets in a trailer
And the joy of a full cart of groceries

And I hope I am again hungry enough to savor
Nothing but a crisp tomato for lunch,
Dreaming of nothing all morning while working gates and swinging saddles but that beautiful, juicy red orb

Having little and wanting little -
I hope those sleeping babies experience the magic
Of how beautiful it is to have something
After nothing

And to savor the lovely flutters of pleasure
That come only after a long, deep hunger

-Amy Skinner

16/12/2024

My student and her horse looking lovely and learning to embrace the forward ! Very proud of them , they’re looking lovely!

16/12/2024

Don’t be so sure the world works through the lens you have memorized- through your area of study, through the research you’ve picked to read, through what you’ve been told or taught or practiced. The minute you think “tree” or “horse” or “rock,” you already have predetermined ideas about what they are and how they work. You can probably pull up ten facts about each, memories of how they behave, and a lot of carefully selected experience to back it up.

It is comforting to have a map of the world in our head because it softens the sharp edge of the unknown. But nothing is ever really known to the person dedicated to their craft, to the world, to learning -

Quite often the things we look at a million times daily have a secret life, and simply looking at them without the internal dialogue about how they are, reveals to us some surprising insights.

Every time I think I know a horse, or tree, or rock, I meet one that shakes my world view. And I have to look back and wonder how much I missed in looking without seeing.

15/12/2024

He sees you when you hang on the inside rein
He sees you when you yell “quit”

He sees you when you tune out
He sees you when you’re being drug down the aisle to the hay

He sees you when you forget to breathe
And he sees you backing up your horse trailer!

Mr Delton is coming to town
With a shiny lump of coal for you
If you don’t give that inside rein
Take a deep breath
Focus
And make slow but frequent adjustments backing that trailer

13/12/2024

12/12/2024

Freely forward is the way to the heart of the horse

Horses are MADE to move. From birth, they are working on moving. Their brains and bodies are both perfectly designed for movement

And yet, from the first halter, humans are working at restricting their movement. Pretty soon, many horses learn to sull up, and when we ask them to go forward, many of them drag, pull and lose their enthusiasm for movement at our hands. Some go the opposite way and become anxious at being restricted, becoming dancy and unpredictable in their movement.

I’ve only met a few teachers in my life that really understood and honored the need for a horse to go, and beautifully incorporated this into their work, creating calm and peaceful yet energetic horses.

And thankfully, they have given me many great lessons on the importance of going with, and directing movement.

Most training paradigms have their tricks at how to curb a horses forward- from one rein stops to bearing down with the seat and a jillion ways in between - but few truly honor and harness this natural motor and blend in with it. To do so requires great self discipline -

I’m not talking about just letting horses be out of control, or letting them take over in a frenzy of unorganized energy. But directing movement like funneling water , knowing that it can never be dammed up without consequence - learning to be part of and love the flow, and to direct it artfully.

It’s much easier to teach people how to shut down movement, and to believe in a false sense of security and control. But the reality is that energy, like water, cannot really be controlled - we see that in life all the time - we become lulled into a false sense of security and water becomes a destructive force outside our control.

Energy has to go somewhere - if we don’t let it flow, and give it constructive mechanisms to move, it finds its ways, and we may not like where it chooses.

If we really want to love and honor horses, we need to put some great personal work into learning to not just tolerate but love going forward. Because movement is the true essence of the horse. How can we claim to love something so much and yet spend a lifetime trying to shut it down, dam it up, and give it no place to really be what nature made it?

11/12/2024

10/12/2024

The difference between relaxation and centeredness -

The goal for many for their horses is calm, or relaxation at all times. That can sound like a good goal, and a kind one - but ultimately, unfair and really quite impossible.

If we factor in the world at large, we realize quickly that being calm requires environmental control - can we really be calm in the face of all emergencies? Can we be calm if our friends horse has bolted, if the barn is on fire, if there is some factors outside our control?

What we ask the horse, in order to be calm at all times, is really to ignore the environment, and to flatten a nervous system and body designed for survival into only one mode we find acceptable.

Relaxation often is lost when energy or external input is brought in, and relaxation offers us no avenue for higher energy movements. A very relaxed horse cannot have the power required for upper level movements - no athlete is supremely relaxed in their endeavors

They are very focused, energetic, and alert

BUT

They should not be anxious

That is the different between relaxed and centered

Centered does not require calm, but can be calm when appropriate. Centered is the horse’s ability to have an adaptable nervous system, molding itself to the necessary requirements of the moment and the environment.

A centered horse can find balance even in moments of high energy or adrenaline, and is able to calm down when appropriate.

It is not appropriate to be calm in a barn fire. We need adrenaline to manage our way to safety - but panic doesn’t help. Therefore we need energetic clarity.

And this has to be taught by a centered person.

It’s easy to teach a horse to “relax” by controlling the environment fiercely or teaching them to tune out. It just requires repetition.

But a centered horse requires the education of a centered person- one who is highly aware, disciplined, attentive, and constantly engaging in appropriate dialogue with the horse - not micro managing, but guiding.

The first is easy to sell - it sounds good, makes people feel good, and requires very little of a person with high reward societally.

The second is a harder sell because of the work load involved, the self discipline and improvement, and low societal reward.

But, you gain the trust of a horse through low and high energy situations both. And that is what a true horseman aspires to.