08/01/2026
Lets talk about frustration in dog ownership.
First of all this is Tig, my foster puppy. I have told my clients sympathetically for years that puppies suck, and I have been reminded of just how true that is. Puppies and young dogs are exhausting. They chew, p*e, bark, whine, chase cats, steal food, and everything else in between. They require a degree of vigilance and attention that is very demanding. The older they get the better they get (except teenage regression), but it takes some time and patience and consistency for that maturity to start showing. In the meantime when you are in the trenches it becomes really taxing.
Frustration is normal and acceptable. If you tell me you aren't feeling irritated by picking up shredded toy fluff, or suffering through crate training, or trying to figure out why on earth they are barking AGAIN; you're either a super human or a liar. Every single one of my dogs made me regret getting them at some point; Piper as a baby was a nightmare to housetrain, Phantom as a teenager was reactive and an escape artist with separation anxiety, Chilli as a teenager was disconnected and stubborn and destructive. I won't lie and say I never yelled at them, or pushed them away with a little extra vim, or contemplated selling them to a travelling salesman. I don’t think any dog owner has behaved 100% perfectly 100% of the time.
So what do we do to deal with these upsetting feelings?
1. Management: most nuisance behavior can be managed to prevent them from happening. Use gates and crates, use leashes in the house. Prevent bad situations from happening, its less inconvenient to wear your dogs leash while doing the chores, rather than clean up your shattered lamp. In the case of my house guest it meant tethering him to me to keep him busy and out of trouble.
2. Think from your dog's side of things. Has anything changed, has any person been acting differently, did they have a late night or rough day recently? Giving our dogs some grace on their behavior is important. Tig had a really weird couple of weeks as a rescue and therefore when he came into my home it was a huge change of environment and people and animals so it makes sense he would be acting differently than normal.
3. Self care makes you better able to take care of others. Owners who make the time to shower, eat, and exercise will happier than those that feel obligated to be with their dogs all the time. Its a good thing to put them in their kennel or pen while you attend to your needs. If you are working with your dog and feel your temper coming up, walk away and unwind, you'll be a better owner for it.
4. Rest is an activity. Both you and your dog are entitled to rest. And honestly dogs naturally rest about 20 hours a day. So while you're sleeping, working, and about half the time you're home at night its okay for them to be resting too. Whether its on the leash attatched to you, loose, or in a kennel. That gives them time to rest and you time to do what you need to.
5. A missed activity isn’t a sin. Here's a secret; I don't walk or work my dogs every day. Sometimes its because they had a big day recently, I have other priorities, or I just don't have the energy. They've never held it against me. The best effort of most pet owners is more than enough for most dogs. Don't feel guility about not having a jam packed itinerary for them. Your dog is just as happy on the couch beside you as going for a walk. Winter especially is a naturally slower season for all animals, our dogs don't need to be out in the snow and they know it. We get extra daylight in the summer to do things, allow yourself to hibernate a little in the winter.
TLDR: Dogs can be frustrating. You may feel guilty. Focus on relaxing and enjoying the experience of having pets. Puppies suck but they also are only puppies for a little while. Give youeself some grace, and breathe.
