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Enjoy the Journey. Love the Horse. Elevate Horsemanship.

27/06/2024

I pulled into the Yoga Studio’s parking lot and sat in my car for a while. As I sat there watching other people walking into the studio I found myself feeling insecure as my mind flooded with negative thoughts…

“This is a dumb idea.”

“My friends are going to think I’m weird for trying this.”

“I’m probably not flexible enough to even do this.”

“I’m going to look so stupid.”

You get the idea…

Despite being filled with insecurity and discouraging thoughts, I summoned the courage to get out of my car, go into the studio, and TRY SOMETHING NEW–which would end up being one of the best decisions of my life.

Since that day, Yoga has become a daily practice for me–it’s not always in a yoga studio, but the “practice” is something I incorporate into my life in some way each and every day.

I would have to write a book to even come close to fully explaining all my Yoga practice has taught me and done for me, but I will share some of the main lessons that applied to my partnership with Talon throughout this blog series.

I went to Yoga for answers to my physical issues and it did eventually lead me to being able to relieve the physical pain I was feeling, but along the way I had to become aware that the body and mind are connected…

In the beginning, I was only focused on what I could physically do to relieve my pain–searching for ways I could stretch, move, strengthen my body to provide relief. I found some ways to temporarily relieve my pain this way, but the pain would always come back.

I really disliked the Mindfulness and Meditation practices at this beginning stage–my pattern in this stage of my life was to run FULL-STEAM at all times–if I wasn’t DOING something I didn’t feel like I was accomplishing anything.

However, Mindfulness and Meditation are part (or should be part) of every Yoga practice, so I had to do at least a small amount of it even when I signed up for high-paced, power flow classes–which was all I signed up for at this time! Even with this small amount of Mindfulness and Meditation practice, I started to become aware of how busy and negative my thoughts were…mostly busy with negative thoughts towards myself. I struggled to quiet my thoughts for even one minute of breathing exercises. My inability to quiet my thoughts started to irritate me, so I became more determined to figure this piece of “Yoga” out…

So I practiced….and I practiced….and I practiced….

All of the sudden, I was doing just as much if not more Mindfulness and Meditation practice than the physical movements of yoga that had originally drawn me to the practice.

Through this practice I got VERY familiar with my internal state—and it wasn’t a nice place in there…

My internal state was negative, worried, unable to relax. My internal state was STRESS!

I was also beginning to notice I could feel different parts of my body tighten when negative thoughts and worry took over…MY THOUGHTS WERE CAUSING TENSION IN MY BODY!

With this new awareness, I realized it didn’t matter how much I stretched, moved, strengthened my body–there would always be tension in my body if I had INTERNAL STRESS–my mind was affecting my body! I now knew I had to put just as much focus on healing my internal state as I had been focusing on healing my physical body, because I wouldn’t be able to heal one without healing the other. I had to figure out how to think more positively and reduce my stress.

Of course, I immediately began ruminating on how this might apply to Talon…what might be causing him internal stress? How could I lessen his stress? How was his internal state affecting his body?

I didn’t know the answer for either of us, but I was determined to start figuring it out.

22/06/2024

After the clinic I found a veterinarian who focused on Sports Medicine. She did a thorough lameness exam on Talon and suspected his issue could be from “Kissing Spine.” She x-rayed his back and the x-rays confirmed her suspicion.

When I asked what I could do for him she suggested some supportive therapies and also believed doing “good” dressage could help–especially shoulder-in. I asked how to do a “good” shoulder-in and she chuckled as she said, “That’s a question for your trainer.”

Just like Kim had mentioned at the clinic this veterinarian was saying “good” dressage could be therapeutic to Talon. Now, I just had to figure out how to do “good” dressage!

She also diagnosed him with gastric ulcers and we put him on a proton pump inhibitor as treatment.

My inner engineer was kicking in and wondering what actually caused these problems in the first place…

When I worked as an engineer one of my roles was to determine the root cause of any problems. Often the problems we notice are actually “symptoms” of other issues. Only addressing the “symptom” will not eliminate the issues causing the symptom, so the symptom will keep recurring until the root cause is identified and addressed.

What was the root cause of Talon’s Kissing Spine and Ulcers?...I couldn’t answer these questions at the time, but I was determined to start figuring it out.

I also thought it was a strange coincidence Talon and I both had back pain. I decided this could be helpful as I could use myself as an experiment; if I could figure out how to address my own back pain perhaps I could somehow apply what I learn to helping Talon.

I remembered what Kim had said about Dressage done well being like “yoga” for the horses, so I thought trying yoga myself would be a good place to start my experiment…

17/06/2024

Once I was mounted, Kim started by “running the loop.” I was already familiar with the “position loop” from when Dart and I had worked with her. When “running the loop” Kim guided me through my body, piece by piece, starting at the bottom and working all the way up to the top–helping me learn to FEEL when I was balanced and aligned in the saddle.

This time the experience was different from when I had first learned this exercise on Dart. Once we had been through the entire loop and Kim felt I was aligned and balanced she asked me to check in with how my body felt. I closed my eyes and checked in with my body…probably the first time I had really checked in with how my body felt in a long time…

What I felt was PAIN.

This wasn’t really the answer I wanted to give Kim, so internally I was contemplating being “tough” and saying, “Feels great!” or to be honest and tell her how bad my back was hurting…

Thankfully, I opted for giving her the honest, vulnerable feeling answer…

When I told Kim I was feeling pain in my back, she just said, “We need to listen to that.” So, she had me get off of Talon and started doing some exercises with me on the ground. The first thing she did was some kind of bodywork. I had zero experience with bodywork at this time, but she mentioned “The Alexander Technique” and “Feldenkrais,” so I made a mental note to research these after the clinic. She also had me do some basic movements with my body and to my surprise there were parts of my body that should be able to move that I just couldn’t move…I was in my early twenties at this time, so this was a real wake-up call!

Kim also said my pain would affect Talon. At this stage, I perceived this statement as my pain would affect my riding physically which would physically affect Talon–this is true–but in time I would realize my pain affected us both on multiple levels.

While I was on the ground, Kim had me practice some basic riding movements on my own two feet…things like turning and basic transitions. While I was doing them she would keep reminding me to pay attention to how it felt in my body and she would have me make adjustments if I was “falling on my forehand” or “leaning in” through turns. It was all very playful and reminded me of how I used to practice Dressage tests as a child before I had a horse of my own–I’d set up dressage letters and then go through the tests on my own two feet.

Once I got back on Talon, we practiced these same basic movements with him. Amazingly, the feeling of doing them on his back was exactly the same as it had felt doing them on my own two feet. When I put the “feeling” I had developed on my own two feet into my body Talon just did the movement with me, and when I adjusted my balance the same way I had done on the ground I could feel him adjust his balance too–it felt like magic! In what had seemed like a “silly” exercise at first, Kim had given me a completely new way to approach my riding.

Kim also mentioned Talon seemed to be giving some indicators of pain too and it would be a good idea to explore where those might be coming from. She also mentioned when Dressage is done well, it is therapeutic to the horse–like physical therapy or yoga. This was a new perspective for me; Dressage had just been part of competitions to me up until this point.

This clinic sent me on a trajectory to explore the physical issues affecting me and Talon…

14/06/2024

I pretty quickly realized I wouldn't be getting “training” advice on Talon’s ditch problem during the clinic. Kim is all about solid basics, and well…let’s just say our basics weren’t solid!

The “basics” with Kim start even before groundwork and riding…

Kim started our lesson by observing Talon and seeing how he felt about the equipment I was using–just as she had the first time I met her with Dart. This time she had a bag full of different bits and allowed Talon to give her feedback on which one he preferred…this was something new! I really wasn’t sure how she was determining his feedback, but I was super intrigued. She explained she was reading his subtle-body-language as well as feeling him through the bit, so I tried watching more closely. She found the one she felt he liked best and let me feel him through the bit too. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be feeling, but I did notice he seemed less mouthy. So, with Talon’s input we decided to use that bit for the clinic. My previous experience with choosing bits had been more about how much “control” they give you over the horse–I hadn’t been considering how Talon felt about them.

Then she moved on to my saddle…

I had two EXPENSIVE custom saddles for Talon, a Dressage saddle and a Jumping saddle. I didn’t really know anything about saddle fit at the time, but I got these saddles because they were what everyone else was using in my Eventing circle.

Kim didn’t like the way these saddles fit and explained why. I was instantly feeling frustrated to have two custom saddles that didn’t fit my horse, but after letting my frustration settle, I realized I should have actually learned more about saddle fit before purchasing them instead of just going with what everyone else is doing and blindly assuming that must mean it’s best. So, I mentally added studying saddle-fit to my homework after the clinic.

We tried other saddles we had around the farm and used various pads as shims and were able to get a fit she felt Talon would be happy with for the clinic. She also noticed Talon being girthy and sensitive to touch; she suggested in addition to a better fitting saddle I should consider he might have ulcers. More homework…study ulcers in horses.

When Kim was satisfied with Talon’s equipment she told me to go ahead and mount Talon. As she was watching me mount, she asked me to stop…I was thinking, “Oh geez, I don’t even know how to mount a horse properly…this is super embarrassing!” She explained I should try to keep my weight more centered over the saddle as I mount to avoid pulling the saddle into Talon’s withers and to try to lower myself as gently as possible onto him. She also suggested a taller mounting block might help. So, I found a taller block and practiced mounting while keeping my weight centered over the saddle and being more gentle as I lowered myself onto him.

In Kim’s way with horses EVERYTHING is done mindfully and empathetically. I felt my heart sink as I began realizing how little I actually knew and how unaware and apathetic I had been towards Talon’s wellbeing. I had soooo much I needed to learn and change…and I hadn’t even started riding yet…

12/06/2024

If you’re thinking from how the last post ended, someone is going to come into my life and save me by offering me a quick, simple solution to my problems…you’d be wrong…

What I did receive was guidance from a great teacher that would give me “breadcrumbs” to follow on my new quest in search of answers to Talon’s behavior and a better way to work with him…

This teacher was Kim Walnes.

Kim Walnes is an Eventing Legend, but she is so much more than that. Her approach to working with horses and riders was so vastly different from what I had been surrounded by in my daily life. The authenticity and kindness of her very being is palpable.

The first time I met Kim was at the Hoosier Horse Fair with Dart; I had just adopted Talon at this time. Kim is someone I would describe as light-years ahead of most in the wisdom department (certainly light-years ahead of me!). Learning from someone like this is like getting “seeds” planted in your mind–something that has to grow as you have your own experiences rather than something you can instantly grasp and understand. In other words, my perspective at that time was very limited while Kim’s perspective was VERY expansive. It would take time and experience for me to start more fully understanding all she had to share.

I’ve never lived near Kim, so she wasn’t someone I could work with on a regular basis (this was way before PIVO and Zoom!), but ever since learning from her at the Hoosier Horse Fair I felt a desire to work with her again. Kim’s voice had a strange way of staying in my head, and I would find it speaking up during some of my challenges with Talon. Her voice is part of what gave me the courage to walk away from the people and training style I knew.

So, after walking away from my normal circle, feeling alone and without support, I decided to reach out to Kim to see if she would be willing to come for a clinic…

Kim agreed to come and the clinic filled instantly with my own clients! I was so excited to be able to work with Kim again, and I was excited my own clients would be able to work with her too.

I was once again filled with hope as I eagerly anticipated working with Kim again…

10/06/2024

Things were looking really good for me. I was living my dream of working with horses all day. I had more clients and work than I could handle and ended up hiring my best friend. What could be better than working with horses and your best friend all day?!... It was an exciting and fun moment in my life.

But, things started going downhill with Talon…

His issue with ditches started showing up again. And this time, the usual approach to correct this behavior by punishing with the spurs and/or crop wasn’t working (again, this is not a training approach I support anymore if this is the first post you’re reading in this blog series…these are old memories). There’s a ditch on basically every cross-country course, so this was going to be a real problem in my quest to progress up the levels of Eventing.

The advice I was receiving was essentially the message, “I was going to have to get tougher about it.” I was being told I would have to escalate the consequences to him saying, “no.” This didn’t feel right to me, but I tried to get a little tougher–I continued suppressing my own internal voice saying, “no.” I was thinking, “This is advice from people who have already accomplished what I want to accomplish, so who am I to question them?”

I remember one instance where I praised Talon and gave him a pat for finally jumping the ditch after what felt like a battle that would never end. The trainer I was working with yelled at me for praising him; saying, “You should be hitting him, not patting him!” I thought to myself, “You want me to punish my horse for DOING what I asked???”...I refused to do this as it made no sense to me.

My internal voice was getting louder and I was starting to listen…

*Side Note - It is not my intention to speak negatively about anyone, but I do have to share some pieces of my interactions with others during this time to tell the story. I have certainly given my fair share of what I now view as “bad” advice over my horse career–we’re always sharing what we know–and when we know better, we can do better.*

Suddenly, this horse who had been receiving high praise from everyone we worked with was now being labeled a “bad” horse, a “naughty” horse, a “pig,” so many negative names, and when getting “tougher” wasn’t working the next piece of advice I started receiving was to get a new horse.

This really didn’t feel right to me. I hated how my horse was behaving, but I still loved my horse.

I KNEW there had to be more to it and there had to be another way…

This is the point where I made a CHOICE to walk away from the advice I was being given and do what felt right to me.

So, I walked away from this circle, and I started looking into alternative training approaches. I started trying to come up with more creative, kinder approaches to working with Talon. This then got me called all sorts of names too–suddenly, I was a “tree-hugger” or “too nicey-nice.”

So here I was, a “nicey-nice” person with a “naughty” horse.

I was feeling really frustrated, alone, and rejected during this time. Not to mention, I was feeling like I was failing. My thoughts were filled with insecurities about what my clients might think about all of this.

AND, I was still solely focused on it being a TRAINING issue.

Luckily, someone would help me start to see Talon’s issues from a new perspective…

06/06/2024

Alright, as you know from the previous post things are about to go downhill for me and Talon. This picture is for a bit of comic relief 😆,... but it also captures an important piece of our story…

This picture was taken by one of my student’s parents at a horse show. I jokingly called this chair my “napping chair.” This was a common scene whenever I had a chance to sit down.

At the time Talon and I were progressing up the levels, I was working a full-time engineering job and I had been slowly building up a side business teaching and training.

When I wasn’t working at my engineering job, I was teaching and training in addition to keeping my own two horses going (I was still competing Dart in Dressage at this time). Weekends when I wasn’t competing were spent traveling around to local barns to teach and train. During the week I would rush to the barn after work to work my own horses before teaching lessons and/or training client horses. It was really crazy.

I was driven and energized by my passion for horses, but this was not a sustainable way to live.

Self-care wasn’t something on my radar at that time.

Eventually, I took a leap of faith and quit my engineering job to start working with students and horses full-time. This was a dream fulfilled and I was loving it, but this changed the dynamic of my partnership with Talon…

All of the sudden my entire livelihood was bound to my ability to work with horses. I felt more pressure to succeed and now it wasn’t just my own internal pressure…I had clients to please and felt the need to prove my abilities as a trainer. Working with horses wasn’t just something I was doing for the love of it anymore.

My internal state was like a PRESSURE COOKER!...

I was tired, but kept pushing myself to do more and more.

I felt immense pressure to succeed.

My self-care was non-existent…I didn’t get enough sleep, I often forgot to eat and drink, I was pushing my body to the limit, I had no time just for myself, and I didn’t know how to manage my stress or relax. I just kept pushing through…

I was in a state of chronic stress and was completely unaware of it.

It would be through learning about the importance of Talon’s core-care that I began to understand the importance of my own self-care and the effect our internal state has on one another.

05/06/2024

After, I became able to load Talon in the trailer we started traveling frequently for training, clinics, and competitions. It looked like we were back on track with my heart’s desire to climb the levels of Eventing.

We began progressing quickly–too quickly…

Despite my limited experience, I was a talented rider and Talon was a talented horse. To this day, I’ve never ridden a horse more enjoyable to jump than Talon–he was so smart, careful, and athletic. He had the ability to naturally read and adjust himself for complicated lines and loved solving those “puzzles”. Jumping him was so FUN and him being so careful always made me feel safe.

At every clinic we went to the clinicians would sing our praises. The common message I received was Talon and I looked like we would have no issues moving right up the levels. I remember at one clinic I had signed up for Beginner Novice/Novice and ended up being moved to the Preliminary group by the end of the clinic; we held our own riding with these much more experienced horse and rider pairs. Talk about my ego getting inflated…

I was so proud of myself and Talon. These top-level riders who had already accomplished what I wanted to accomplish saw talent and potential in me and Talon–I eagerly wanted to fulfill that potential…

Talon and I did quickly progress up the levels and I took him around his first Preliminary level Event when he was only 5 years old. I did the bare minimum to get qualified for this level. I just wanted to keep progressing. There were warning signs this quick progression would soon fail, but I was not aware of them or considered them simple “training” issues…

Talon’s nemesis was the basic, open ditch. He jumped them incredibly awkwardly, often landing on all four feet at the same time–this type of landing was jarring for us both. He would often refuse these basic ditches. When a horse refuses jumps, a common method for “training” is to punish the horse by using the crop and/or spurs, and this was the method I regretfully used to temporarily overcome this ditch refusing issue with Talon. It worked for awhile…

This type of training is very common among all riding disciplines. It causes the horse to reduce the “undesirable” behavior to avoid consequences. I in no way support this type of training, but it was what I knew at the time and everyone around me was doing it this way, so I just thought it was how you trained horses. I never felt good internally about this style of training, but I suppressed my own internal voice saying, “no” too.

Behavior is communication.

This type of training is saying to the horse, “If you say, ‘no’, there will be consequences.” Rather than try to understand why Talon was saying, “no,” I labeled his behavior as a “training” issue. In reality, his refusal of the ditches was his attempt to communicate how he felt physically and mentally about jumping them, and my attempts to train away this behavior was telling him not to communicate how he feels to me–that he must submit to my will no matter how he feels about it.

There were other warning signs…

He was always girthy.

He did not like being groomed or being touched.

He was incredibly mouthy (of course, at this time my solution was a flash noseband).

His trot was incredibly short and choppy (we never scored well in dressage). I remember one judge wrote the comment, “Horse does not look happy.” I was really offended by this comment at the time, but what she said was absolutely true. I just didn’t want to see it or believe it.

He was becoming progressively more and more spooky.

He always stood with his front left foot forward. Again, I considered this a training issue, so would continuously ask him to stand square.

He was becoming increasingly more difficult for me to catch in the field.

Our progression up the levels would soon come to an end…

24/05/2024

You’re going to see a theme in my partnership with Talon–mistake, after mistake, after mistake…

There will always be a part of me that wishes I didn’t subject Talon to my lack of experience, but ultimately it was through all the mistakes I made with him that I gained the experience I have today. Mistakes are part of the learning process–I have accepted this truth, forgiven myself, and Talon has forgiven me too which is why I am able to share all of these not so great memories from my past with you…

I couldn’t wait to start taking Talon to competitions. Just a few short months after adopting him I entered him in our first schooling show. I focused on preparing him for all the movements we would have to do in our dressage test and worked on jumping small courses with him, and by the time the show came around I felt like we would be prepared for a successful first show together. I was so excited to take him!

However, there was one thing I failed to practice…trailer loading.

I was so caught up in my excitement and training for what we would have to do at the show it never crossed my mind to prepare him for actually getting to the show (really letting my inexperience at that stage of my horsemanship journey shine here!). I assumed since I had gotten him on the trailer once I would be able to do it again. I’m sure you can see where this is going…

It was finally time to leave for the show. I had Dart and Talon all shined up and ready to go and couldn’t wait to get on the road with them. I loaded up Dart and then went back for Talon. As soon as Talon caught a glimpse of the trailer he froze up and then turned around and tried to pull me back into the barn. I redirected him and got him moving towards the trailer, but again he froze and tried to pull me back in the barn. I repeated this several more times as it began sinking in that I should have prepared him for trailering.

Still hopeful for a great first show together…I went back into the barn to gather some more help to get him loaded. We tried just about everything to get him in the trailer, but at the end of the day nothing worked.

Talon didn’t make it to our first show together.

At the time, I was upset about Talon missing the show. I wasn’t thinking about how quickly trying to get him to submit to something he wasn’t prepared to do would affect him and the trust in our partnership.

I went to the show with Dart and left Talon at home, but my excitement about the show was gone.

When I got home I was determined to address this trailer loading issue. Working with Talon on trailer loading became part of my daily routine…for months….

I read about different methods for training trailer loading and tried just about all of them, but never made much progress. Sometimes I could get Talon to put a front hoof on the trailer, but then he would explode and often break free from me and run many laps around the neighbor’s corn field before I could catch him.

My next idea was to get a trailer that would be more inviting and easier to load. This wasn’t necessarily a bad idea, but it really didn’t address the root cause of this problem…Talon had anxiety around trailer loading (much of it caused by me in my hurry and desperation to try to get him loaded for that show), I wasn’t being consistent and clear as I fumbled my way through trying many different trailer loading methods, and most of all he didn’t trust me (for good reason!)

So…I sold my little horse trailer and took out a loan for a 2 + 1 Gooseneck with many escape doors, box stall options, rear loading ramp, and a side loading ramp (no regrets on this purchase, I still have this trailer and it’s AWESOME!). I thought for sure this would solve Talon’s trailer loading issue.

But, it didn’t…

I was able to get Talon on the new trailer occasionally, but each time I tried to load him after successfully getting him loaded it was like we had hit the reset button–time to start all over again. I am really determined (...stubborn…), so I continued this pattern for many more months before I finally asked for help.

My Eventing coach made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He said he would help me with Talon on loading and if he couldn't help he wouldn’t charge me anything. Asking for help has never been a strength of mine, so I swallowed my pride and agreed to let him help me.

He showed up with a small, 2-horse trailer, and I thought to myself, “There is no way he’ll get Talon on that trailer.” I handed Talon’s lead to him and sat down to watch.

This coach was FUNNY, so the first thing I noticed was how light-hearted he was about the whole thing–his energy about it was so different than mine had been. I was taking it all very seriously and pressured myself to succeed. He cracked jokes while doing some basic groundwork with Talon. His jokes were often full of wisdom…one that stuck out to me that day was when he said, “You have to be old to be good at this stuff.” He was jokingly calling himself old, but there is truth in what he said. Not necessarily that you have to be old, but you do have to be mature in many ways to be a good horseman…patient, self-aware, clear, and consistent.

I was surprised how much groundwork he did before he ever asked Talon to actually face the trailer. He asked Talon to move forward, circle around him in both directions, stop, back, and later asked him to position himself and stand on each side of the trailer. I didn’t understand what he was doing at the time, but I now see he was making sure Talon understood the cues from his body-language prior to asking Talon to do the thing he had anxiety about. He was also very clear, consistent, and praised Talon for each effort. In doing so, he quickly began building Talon’s confidence and trust.

When he finally asked Talon to face the trailer, Talon immediately started to walk on…I couldn’t believe it! Even more to my surprise my coach asked Talon to stop! I thought to myself, “Why on earth are you asking him to stop when you almost had him on!!!” You can see from my thoughts how much I prioritized the end goal.

After he asked Talon to stop, he asked him to come back away from the trailer and re-approach. This time Talon again offered to go on the trailer and my coach asked him to stop again. I watched as he repeated this a few more times. It looked like Talon was pretty proud of himself at this point.

Then he finally let Talon go all the way into the trailer (notice the word “let”...he never pressured him to go inside…amazing!). As soon as Talon was in the trailer, I thought to myself, “OMG, you got him in…hurry up and get the butt bar up!!!” To my surprise, he didn’t put the butt bar up. He just stood there and gently stroked Talon while standing on the side of the ramp. Then he asked Talon to come out of the trailer again.

Then he asked Talon to face the trailer and again Talon walked right in. He stood on the side of the ramp gently stroking Talon as he did before, but this time he started to make some noise with butt bar…you could see Talon get a bit nervous, but he just kept gently stroking Talon and letting the butt bar make some noise–soon Talon returned to being relaxed.

He repeated this several more times and started incorporating swinging the butt bar behind Talon. Again, you could see Talon get a bit nervous with each new thing, but my coach would just keep gently stroking him until he returned to relaxation. Always noticing when Talon would get nervous and taking the time it took for him to return to relaxation with each new thing he introduced.

I was starting to understand his goal wasn’t really about shutting Talon in the trailer…it was about getting him comfortable and confident with the whole process one step at time–including all the sounds and movements associated with trailer loading.

Then he finally latched the butt bar. I couldn’t believe he successfully loaded Talon into that small trailer. The plan was for my coach to take Talon for a few days to his farm to continue working with Talon, so I really couldn’t believe it when he undid the butt bar and unloaded Talon. I thought to myself, “Well, now you went and hit the ‘reset button’ and you’re going to have to start all over again,” because that had been my experience up until that point. To my surprise when my coach asked Talon to face the trailer, Talon willingly loaded again with no hesitation. He did this several more times before he was ready to haul Talon to his farm.

I thanked him and told him I was amazed. I was also internally swallowing my pride some more as he had just accomplished in less than 2 hours what I was not able to accomplish in many many months.

When he returned Talon, he demonstrated Talon easily and confidently loading and unloading. He had also practiced loading him in several different types of trailers he had at his farm. He wanted to make sure I could load him, so asked me to load him a few times while he was there to help me.

As I took Talon’s lead, I could feel myself getting worried as I again put pressure on myself to succeed; this trailer loading issue had been a big deal to me for a long time at this point and something I had been taking way too seriously. Talon sensed my worried energy and immediately regressed when I asked him to face the trailer–my heart sank. My coach asked me to try to relax and be confident Talon would do it. I took a deep breath and imagined Talon loading for me just as my coach cracked another joke which lightened me up…Talon walked onto the trailer…

In all my efforts to load Talon, I had only been focusing on the end goal rather than the process, and I was not aware of how my own internal state was affecting Talon.

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