18/07/2024
TRAUMA ISN'T WHAT *YOU* THINK YOUR DOG GOES THROUGH.
I consulted with a young dog this week who has developed a fear of interacting with people.
"I just can't think why this has happened" his people said, "we had him since a puppy and nothing bad has happened to him!".
I've been binge watching the show on Netflix New Amsterdam. A very poignant story line was shown and whilst I know it's fiction, the point is too good to not share.
A school kid came in to see the psychiatrist due to avoiding school. In conversation the kid disclosed that she was scared to go to school after seeing one of her friends shot down in a school shooting. Completely understandable, right?
Upon debrief with the kids parents the parents were highly confused - there WAS no school shooting, they'd have been aware if there was.
Turns out the "shooting" was a drill. It was acted out by accomplices but only the "shooter" and the kid that got shot was in on it. None of the other kids or teachers were aware, for them it was a real threat.
Now this is fiction and I sincerely hope this isn't what really happens in school drills (!) but I think the point made is excellent.
The kid in the psychiatrist office knew AFTER that it was a drill. Her friend stood up and everyone was told it was just a fake incident. But that wasn't enough. She had a legitimate trauma reaction to what she believed to be true in the moment. That trauma reaction doesn't just immediately evaporate because her truth in that moment didn't match what was REALLY going on.
Back to the dog I consulted with. His people were able to identify a few incidents in his puppyhood where people forced themselves onto him without him being comfortable. It was not done out of malice to the pup - far from it - but the dog as a puppy didn't know that. Puppies aren't born understanding our every move and intentions - we need to help them understand the way people work, gently - but as a society we also need to understand the way dogs work.
It is NOT ok to over-handle any dog you don't know. Puppy or adult. Trauma isn't a result of what you know a dog to go through; it's a result of what they perceive themselves to go through. You may know you only have good intentions to a puppy/dog when you immediately start fussing them all over and inviting play through rough housing (for example). But the dog/puppy doesn't immediately know your intentions - they aren't mind readers! To them in that moment you are being threatening, and a threat to their sense of safety is trauma.
It is so important we respect dogs and their right to their own body boundaries. I am noticeably hands off generally with the dogs I see. In fact, for this dog I consulted with I didn't even LOOK at him. Eye contact had become a threat because with eye contact comes interaction. No, the dog's life wasn't put at risk from our perspective - but it isn't our perspective that matters. It's the perspective of the dog that either creates a trauma response or doesn't.
Whilst introducing my new rescue Lily to the wonderful people in my life I'm very cognisant of HER perspective, not mine. What I've found works for Lily is if I kneel down with her as she's approaching someone new to her (I also label them as "friend" so she can start to build up positive associations with that word and it'll help her understand her new world if we name things.). In that way she knows I'm right there and my presence helps her to feel SAFE in this unknown interaction. I do not force her there and she can walk away at any moment but generally in a couple of seconds Lily feels comfortable and safe and her friendly self pops through. Once I see that helicopter tail and wiggly body I know she can manage alone (but not with strangers, only people I know to be respectful of her). NOTE- there is no use of food, I'll run through my reasoning for that in another post.
Even apparently friendly dogs need to feel comfortable first. It's a huge error to see puppies or friendly adult dogs as beings who will be fine with you inviting yourself into their space and immediately fussing them all over.
Picture of Bella puppy because she was a puppy who needed gentle introductions to other dogs. We would have created trauma had we just thrown her in with a group of dogs and called it "socialisation". From her perspective that would have been threatening even if I knew all the dogs were friendly and had good intentions, she wouldn't have. But taking things slow & steady and she is now an integral part of our group dog walking and mixes with dogs with no concerns whatsoever.
We must ALWAYS examine things from our dogs' perspectives, not our own. That is key to setting up our dog to succeed in building positive associations with things.
Remember it is MUCH harder to undo a trauma response than it is to create one in the first place. Importantly, not all trauma responses can be "undone", regardless of whether the truth wasn't quite as they perceived 🐾💜
