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  Want your business to be the top-listed Pet Store/pet Service in Adelaide?

A Trivia Perchace to Dream

Born separately but united by an intensely violent blood pact, Mark Kamleh and Peter Ellis have always been at odds.

Mark Kamleh was born in December of 1979 to a family of travelling beauticians. The eldest of six siblings (four brothers, two sisters), Kamleh was described as a “deeply disturbed child”, frequently leaving the family home in the middle of the night to stand alone and naked in the middle of a neighbour’s field. Arms outstretched, Kamleh informed his worried parents that he was a scarecrow. The Kamleh’s would later testify in court that when asked why he wanted to be a scarecrow, the eldest Kamleh sibling would flap his arms like a bird, while paradoxically whimpering like a cat. Six months later, Kamleh was arrested for selling fi****ms to minors. He spent six years in a federal prison, at which time he developed a romantic pen-pal relationship with Jodie Foster, who had recently become famous with the Academy Award-Winning Silence of the Lambs film. Foster described Kamleh on David Letterman’s The Late Show as “my muse, my undying, perfect angel.” Kamleh similarly gushed about Foster, revealing on Burt Newton’s Good Morning Australia that she was “the most perfect Bluejay I’ve ever met.” The pair wed in 1995, and one year later Foster gave birth to Kamleh’s only child, Robin. In 1998 the couple filed for divorce after Kamleh was convicted for possession of he**in with intent to sell, in one of the largest drug busts in the nation’s history. In a final interview before incarceration, Kamleh informed Hey Hey It’s Saturday’s Red Symond’s that he was deeply sorry for his actions, and that he hoped given time his “little birds would let this magpie another peck at the gander.” Kamleh was jailed for 18 years.

Born to a shoddy tailor of ambiguous origins in sunny Verdun, SA, Ellis left his father and found his first job at age three, planting gumnuts for the Hawke government. After rising through the ranks and taking over the environmental department, Ellis, a firm Hawke-loyalist, was offered a lucrative severance package following Paul Keating’s successful challenge for the PM office in 1991. Having grown accustomed to the do-or-die nature of Australian politics, Ellis, now four-years-young, invested his money into a particularly vicious dog-fighting ring in the nation’s Eastern most point at Cape Byron. The ring lasted for three years before Ellis had a change of heart and restructured the business into a Seeing Eye Dog Training Facility, which he installed back in his home town of Verdun, South Australia. After training pups for three years, Ellis was offered a job in the Howard government in 1997 as an advisor to then-Environmental Minister Robert Hill. He held that position for almost ten years, advising a total of three ministers, before he was arrested following Four Corners famous expose of his Seeing Eye Dog facility, revealing it to be a front for a particularly violent dog-fighting ring. After accepting a plea bargain, the fallout of which led to the Howard government’s de-funding of dog-fighting in Australia, Ellis was sentenced to 10 years jail.

In prison, Ellis met Kamleh, and the two became wary ‘frenemies’, a term that had recently passed into the Australian vernacular. Tensions boiled over one fateful night, after Kamleh accused Ellis of stealing two of his three egg rolls--a claim that Ellis refutes to this day--which resulted in a nasty spat of hair-pulling and name-calling. The warden subsequently ordered the two to begin performing fortnightly trivia in the prison’s mess hall to make amends--and that, as they say, was that!