31/10/2022
Interesting reflections, there are many ways to find pleasure with a horse, competing is not the only avenue.
Iām done.
Iām done with the early starts, the 4am alarms waking up feeling queasy, not just from nerves, but from knowing how much money Iāve spent on the day ahead from entry fees, training and the diesel in the tank.
Iām done with the sleepless night before, the replaying of dressage tests and course walks in my head because despite everyone preaching to ābe kindā you can never escape the odd comment or two if it doesnāt go to plan.
Iām done with the feeling of total inadequacy as I watch those who have worked half as hard get twice as far in half the time, only to be told āthatās lifeā and to use it as āmotivation to be betterā.
Iām done with being told itās ājust a 90ā when Iāve spent weeks (if not months) preparing and spent a fortune to get there, only to experience the resentment from some of the ātop ridersā when us mere amateurs dare to muddy their course.
Iām done with a sport where money is overtaking talent, where horses cost more than cars and lorries cost more than houses. A sport that preaches equality, but promotes elitism.
Iām done with the pressure I put on myself because I spend all day, everyday watching people post their highlight reels across social media, making me think Iām abnormal for having a bad day or wanting a day off.
So, Iām done.
Done pretending that putting on a show jacket and jumping double clear is what really makes me happy.
So pass me a grooming brush and show me the bridleway, because the happiest Iāll ever be is exploring the world behind my favourite set of ears with absolutely no pressure or expectation from myself or anyone else.
šø Cheape photography