04/02/2025
This is brilliant 👏
I personally feel that many people confuse "self enlightenment" with "self entitlement"
With every relationship we have, we are part of something bigger than ourselves. To enter a conversation or training session with our desires as a priority, then we have already upset the Equilibrium.
A few years ago it occurred to me just how much I relied on my horses to fill 'my cup' something, as such an independent person I would never ask or seek from another person. Yet why did I expect this from my horses? Horses make me happy, but what I learnt is it's not their job to do so.
Even when we have every good intention to give them a happy, safe and healthy life, there is unintentional weight we place upon them when we approach with the attitude of "I live a busy life, so my horses are my 'me' time" or "I'm going to ride so I can take some time to myself" or as I did "I love seeing my horses as they make 'me' feel better" and so we have the confusion of self-enlightenment and self-entitlement.
It's so important to remind ourselves of the relationship we are in. We must ask ourselves for us to 'feel better' or have our 'me time,' has it been at the expense of your horse? Have you drained their energy just to fill yours? Have you placed your needs above that of your horse, your partner? And if so, it may be time for the honesty glasses to come out and ponder the question, why do we think our soul is more important than theirs....
I am Lockie Phillips, but that is not important.
I retired from a career as a classical ballet dancer with the Polish National Ballet seven years ago, after working for eight years as a dancer across Europe but that is not important.
I taught my first lesson with horses and riders thirteen years ago. I am almost 35 years old, and I have lived many lives. My work with horses has long since outgrown the work I did in dance. Yet now with the horses, the dancing never stops.
This page, this platform such as it is, is an echo of my home. A home for my horses, my team, our work, and perhaps the growing number of people for whom us and our work resonates with.
But most importantly, this page, this platform such as it is, is an echo of the horses represented by the people for whom we work for, and assist.
We are here for the horses.
We do our very best to perceive the needs, desires and preferences of the horses that the people we work for, represent. For it behooves us -pun intended- to put the horses first. To do our best to perceive the needs of the horses and act as their mouthpiece. Their advocate.
Last year, and in years prior, our ethos was a little different. The ethos was;
"Horse work is people work. Prioritise the people and the horses will follow."
And in principle, your personal needs are still important to us. In the delivery of now over 1200 private services annually, international clinics, large and small mentorship programs, and free offerings such as YT and our Podcast, we offer a discerning focus on the person before us. Coaching, teaching, training- this and more is required by us, for the people who link arms with us. Yet we found a stumbling block. Too frequently, when we put the human before the horse, we can get stuck on ourselves. And we cannot assist horses if someone is experiencing themselves as an overwhelming presence. As equestrian professionals, this cannot do, because our job is with the horses, so we need to reach the horses.
We need you to put yourself first. We cannot put you first, especially if you don’t put yourself first. We need you to put yourself first, take care of yourself, so that we can focus on the horses when we are with you.
There are too many horses, and not enough horsepeople. Horses need horsepeople to care for them. The act of care is fundamentally de-centering. If you are waiting for horsemanship to feel really centred -to you- then you are on a pathway to Self Centered Horsemanship. Where your horse may play second fiddle to your needs, your feelings, your desires and wants. Often, with very good intentions. Often with many consequences to the horses well-being.
Recent trends would have us believe that horsemanship is an act of centering ourselves, a “Self-Help” prospect for the new Millennium. I have come to find, horsemanship and horse training probably is best not used as a Self-Help modality. Horsemanship is best used as the act centering the horse.
So where do we focus on our inner work, in this crazy world, where do we center ourselves?
How about centering ourselves before going out to the horses? Center yourself without the horses around. Because when you go out to care for, handle, train or ride your horse, your focus must be on the horse- not you.
Paradoxically, in order to do this properly, you have to have centered and grounded yourself, on your own, first. If not, you will find yourself with a horse, at the end of your rope, your patience, your emotional balance. That is when people lose control and lash out at the horse. Because deep down, they might be confused and hurt that quality horsemanship doesn’t feel like a self-centering practice. So they may lash out, or freeze or Insert-Trauma-Response-Here. That is when discerning instructors and trainers should signpost people to leave the horse alone and take care of themselves. Horse trainers shouldn’t act as therapists, if our competency rests in half-halts, seat mechanics, feel and equine development. Ask your people to return when they can apply their feel, their emotion, to a horse focused place.
We need to ask ourselves; “Do I think horses should help me be centered personally?” If yes, is that appropriate? Is that working for both of you?
Perhaps your job is to center yourself. And to not ask vulnerable animals that are in our domestic care to ameliorate the personal inner journey you might be best doing with a therapist trained to do that safely. Then, when you go to your horse, understand that horsemanship is a different type of personal skill- the opposite of centering yourself.
Horsemanship- a bit like good parenting- is about extending yourself. Stretch. Leap. Try. Aspire. Explore. Inquire. You extend yourself, outside yourself. Consider it a fabulous holiday away from yourself. Away from the petty obsessions of your everyday life. Your inner work done prior to joining your horse, your inner work so strong, so consolidated, that you can project energies and extend yourself to center the horse, center others. So self assured you can be Selfless.
All meditation practices have this as a goal. To lose the self in the act of meditation. To be SO PRESENT that You disappear. Your ego, evaporates. Now, the ego is not all evil. Without an ego, none of us would brush our hair! But we need to stop asking horses to “Brush Our Energetic Emotional Hair”, and call that training. But have you ever spent so much time thinking about yourself that you get sick of being selfish? And want to apply your energies to something outside yourself?
Extending yourself into art, creativity, care, enquiry and exploration is a self-extension activity, not a self-centering activity.
Try and imagine the last time you watched someone ride or train a horse selfishly. Where was the horse in the result? It was all about the human? What did it look like? What were the stories people told about those results?
Now stop and think of the last rider or trainer you know where you almost didn’t see the human, you hardly saw the techniques, if you saw the techniques at all. Nothing seemed to happen in the human yet the horse was fully focused on what the human was doing, even if you were deaf and blind to what the human was doing.
You just saw the horse.
That is what Emotional Horsemanship is all about. Inspired by horses. Always inspired by horses.
Essential Equilibrium uses a range of modalities to ensure optimal health for your horse
