
15/04/2025
đĽ Separation Anxiety: Your Horse Isnât Being a Jerk
(They Just Know More About Survival Than You Do)
An Ode to Interspecies Partnership, Evolution, and Actually Knowing What Youâre Doing...
Letâs begin with a radical reframe:
Your horse â yes, that horse, the one who just did a full Olympic spin because Daisy walked away â isnât being dramatic, buddy sour, or herd-bound.
Theyâre responding with military-grade precision to millions of years of evolutionary programming not to die.
And when we try to âtrain it out of themâ by visualising peace, holding our breath, and waiting for the horse to âchoose connectionââŚ..weâre not solving a problem. Weâre outsourcing horsemanship to the universe and crossing our fingers.
Thatâs not training. Thatâs manifesting with a web halter.
đ§ Herd Behaviour: The Original Emergency Exit Strategy
Herd behaviour isnât a phase. Itâs not clinginess. Itâs biology.
It's how prey animals stay alive by:
- Confusing predators
- Diluting risk
- Following fast and thinking later
Itâs collective, chaotic, and deeply effective. And when youâre the one holding the lead rope, itâs also⌠rather terrifyingđą.
So when your horse bolts back to Daisy like sheâs carrying the last life-vest on the Titanic, theyâre not being naughty.
Theyâre just running the most recently updated herd-survival software.
đ´ Your Horse Knows Youâre Not a Horse (Thankfully)
Youâre not part of the herd.
They know.
You know.
You donât smell right.
You donât move right.
And you wouldnât last a day in the wild without a sunhat, 4 litres of water, a 3 protein bars and a portable espresso machine.
But hereâs the genius:
Horses can learn to focus on us instead.
Not because we channel our inner alpha or brand ourselves as âconscious equestrian leaders.â
But because we prove â through skilled, repeated experiences â that weâre worth noticing.
âď¸ Becoming Their Anchor
Your job?
Become their:
-Sensory anchor â something familiar to orient to
-Emotional anchor â someone who stays calm when they are not sure
-Proprioceptive anchor â guidance they can follow with their body
-Environmental anchor â a stable point in a chaotic world
This isnât woo. Itâs not vibes. Itâs trained trust.
They donât follow your aura.They follow your consistency, timing, and clarity.
𩻠Pain Changes the Programming
If your horse is sore, tired, ulcer-y, hormonal, or simply ânot feeling itâ âtheir vulnerability goes up, and so does the risk of their herding instinct being triggered.
They might:
- Treat the arena like a war zone
- Assume the float is a hearse
- Stick to another horse like emotional duct tape
- Get âpushy,â âclingy,â or âannoyingâ
Itâs not an attitude problem.
Itâs a nervous system doing its job.
Before you crank up the pressure to âcorrectâ the behaviour, ask:
âIs this a training issue â or a welfare issue in disguise?â
đŻ Training Isnât Just Kindness. Itâs Skill.
Letâs be real: kindness is lovely â but itâs not a strategy.
You need:
- Timing
- Feel
- The ability to release at the right micro-second
And enough self-awareness to stop blaming your horse for not understanding something you never taught clearlyđŹ
Yes â some stress is part of learning.
The difference?
Bad stress shuts the horse down or freaks them out and they won't trust you.
Good stress builds resilience.
Thatâs not just feel.
Thatâs skillful handling under pressure.
Get it right, and your horse learns:
âI felt unsure. You stayed steady. Now I feel more confident.â
Get it wrong, and they learn:
âPeople are scary and unpredictable or make no sense.â
Thatâs not learning. Thatâs trauma in a halter.
âď¸ Balance, Not Bravado
You donât need to be a guru, wear a cowboy hat, or be a barefoot empath who thinks your horseâs refusal to load is your fear of success in disguise.
You need to:
- Understand horses
- Interpret what you see
- Make informed, fair decisions â in real time
Because horsemanship isnât about suppressing instinct. Itâs about redirecting it, with skill and clarity.
Youâre not a herd member.
Youâre the one who says: âThis way. Youâre safe.â
đ´ Your Horse Isnât Being a Jerk. Theyâre Being Honest.
Next time your horse panics at the gate, melts down in a clinic, or tries to emotionally reattach to their paddock mate at the cellular levelâŚ
Donât call it disobedience.
Call it what it is:
A nervous system asking for something to trust.
Ask yourself:
- Have I prepared this horse, or just expected them to cope?
- Have I trained them to rely on me, or just hoped they would?
- Have I taught them to feel okay, or just demanded silence?
Separation anxiety isnât a flaw - Itâs a biological response to uncertainty.
And anchoring?
Itâs not a vibe.
Itâs a learnable skill.
Yours to teach.
Theirs to trust.
Final Note đ
Weâre not trying to be horses.
Weâre not herd members.
Weâre not enlightened spirit guides with a side hustle in nervous system healing.
We are:
- Interpreters
- Anchors
- Reliable, skilled decision-makers in a world that can overwhelm a horse's brain.
Itâs not mystical.
Itâs not macho.
Itâs not a retreat, a ritual, or a weekend of vague breakthroughs and better selfies.
Itâs real horsemanship â grounded, teachable, honourable.
You donât need to be dominant. You donât need to be brave.You just need to be worth following.
đ˘ Before You GoâŚ
If this made you laugh, nod, or finally stop calling your horse "naughty" or blaming Daisyđźâ hit share, not copy/paste.
This is original work. Mine. Not plucked from a reel, not paraphrased from a guru, and definitely not up for grabs.
So if you're inspired? Great â credit it.
đ Want More? This is the warm-up. See the comments as there is moreâŚ