Freed Spirits Pet Grief Counselling & Pet Death Doula

24/11/2023

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18/08/2023

All pet owners should read this post, it's written by a vet in regards to prescription diets.

16/08/2023

Duude update.
The vet called and it's not Cushing's disease. We are going to try medication for Insipidus Diabetes ( water diabetes), if the treatment works we'll continue it. Unfortunately due to the stress it causes Duude we aren't having an ultrasound done, which could tell us the cause of his weight loss, but it won't necessarily change his outcome. As my boy is still a happy Duude I will do all I can to give him what he needs and all the love I have to make everyday special. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, so I'll make today count. Duude and I thank you so much for your support, kind wishes and knowledge. Sadly our dogs getting old just absolutely sucks, but everything I do will be in his best interest. 💜

15/08/2023

This is my love, my 10 year old Bull Arab Duude. We rescued him from Queensland 3 weeks after the loss of my little man Gadgit. Originally he was supposed to be my husband's dog as I still had my girl Kenya. But within a week it was obvious he was a mumma' s boy. Our daughter Banjho was only 8 months old when he arrived. He adored her, especially when she had her leftovers from lunch all over her face. He was double her size at 12kg at 12 weeks, but he was always so gentle. Throughout his puppy days there were many poo checks done when a dummy went missing or a plastic baby spoon. But luckily they were found safe and never ingested. Being a big boy who didn't understand his size we spent many nights and still do being squashed up on the couch so he can fit. When we would take him out people would cross the road in fear of him due to his size (50kg Sookie Lala). He would get so upset because people wouldn't talk to him. I would ask people to say hello, which some did eventually. He would have the biggest grin when they did. At 21/2 Duude got out due to the wind blowing our gate open, he was missing for 5 days. It was the longest 5 days of our lives not knowing where he was, luckily due to our amazing community and Facebook he was found safe. We could all breathe again. Now my boy is 10 and he's not well. We are currently doing lots of tests with the local vet. As Duude is a sook and is petrified of the vets he has his consults outside. Our vet is fantastic and very accommodating to my boy. Today he will have 3 visits, first at 9.15 for an injection and bloods, then again at 1.15 and 5.15. He's such a good boy and just sits in the back of the car while they do the tests. The vet thinks it could be Cushing's disease, which hopefully can be treated. So for now I'm just sitting on the couch with him, getting in some extra love until we're up and off again. I am feeling scared, anxious, sad and fearful of what the results say, as he is a 10 year old big boy and I have to do what's right for him. Honestly these decisions suck, but it's a choice we make when opening up our hearts to a pet. I would do it a million times over knowing I got to share my life with such incredible souls. I will keep you all updated as I know more. 💜

09/08/2023

Please don't leave your pet in their last moments, they need you.💜 https://www.majesticanimals.net/vets-reveal-what-pets-do-in-their-final-moments-and-its-heartbreaking?fbclid=IwAR3D1szUYb3XA3Tum_ABHWdUUGddvFBB3D7vhE8lvhhYmkLrHDvtLeHaT1g

20/07/2023

Everyday💜

12/07/2023

Let’s talk about the physical effects of grief.
We all know the main physical effects of grief, crying, shock, shaking and a rush of adrenaline, but do you know the real impact grief can have on your body? Some symptoms for someone who is grieving can be, extreme fatigue, headaches, mixed up sleep cycles, nausea and dizziness. These could last days, weeks or months. Depending on how severe the grief is for the person.
There are effects that occur within the body which might not be recognised as a symptom of grief. Evidence suggests that immune cell function falls and inflammatory responses rise in people who are grieving. Cortisol is a hormone that is increased during times of stress, your body can release higher than usual amounts into your bloodstream in the 6 months after the loss of a loved one. High levels of cortisol over a long period can raise your chances of heart disease and high blood pressure. Intense grief can alter the heart muscle so much that it can cause “broken heart syndrome” which is a form of heart disease with the same symptoms as a heart attack.
Grief batters the immune system, leaving you depleted and vulnerable to infection which for autoimmune compromised person this could be quite dangerous. Grief can also be stored in various parts of the body, such as lungs, throat and stomach. It's not uncommon for a person to have gastrointestinal issues that may take quite a while to subside. Weight loss can also be common due to decreased pleasure, physical senses like taste, touch and sight are no longer enjoyable. Food can be tasteless which can cause someone to lose their appetite.
There are so many physical side effects of grief, but with finding the correct supports these could be prevented or only be short. The grief from the loss of a pet can definitely cause these types of physical symptoms.

12/07/2023

* found safe*
Please share, this baby is still missing! Her poor family must be desperate to get her home.

08/07/2023

I thought I would let you all know the meaning behind my new logo.
I wanted a logo that was attractive to the eye and connected with people. This is why and how it connects to me.
The colour Purple can represent nobility, power, luxury, wisdom and spirituality. It also can create a feeling off peace, pride, independence and magic.
The colour Orange can represent understanding, fearlessness and freedom. Spiritually it can enhance vitality, physical and mental energy and finally warmth.
Looking at the words used, I know that each one can be related to my own dogs. The word nobility-Duude knows he's king, Magic and luxury are two words that stand out for Kenya, boy did she love my satin doona cover. Wisdom is for my little man Gadgit, he was born a clever old soul and lastly fearlessness, Petitche was truly that, no body messed that little 5kg killer! I can relate every word to each one of my dogs and the feeling they created in me.
The butterfly is the epitome of transformation and change, it is also the sign for hope and rebirth, purity and love. The butterfly truly is the symbol of the soul, the grief and the healing.
I hope that when you read these words, they help you connect with these colours and make you smile thinking of your pets and the link they share.
The footprints are the obvious link between us.
I hope that now you understand my logo you understand a bit more about me and how passionate I am in helping those who need it. 💜

07/07/2023

A romanticised image of veterinary work as “all puppies and kittens” masks the disturbing reality that vets are four times more likely to die by su***de than the Australian general population, and twice as likely to do so as other health workers. One vet will die by su***de every 12 weeks in Australia. These are facts that we need to know and understand.
Our vets and the vet nurses are part of our lives, we need them at the best of times and most definitely at the worst of times. They spend years at University studying to become the best that they can be, not for us, but for our pets. The choose to work with animals because of the love they have for them.
Imagine going to work every day knowing you may have to euthanise someone's beloved family member. Tell a client their pet is terminal, and nothing can be done; or worse that you can help their pet but the treatment is so expensive that you know they will have to make the hardest decision of their lives. Our vets and vet nurses deal with trauma most days, they do everyday procedures that can change to a life-threatening surgery within minutes. Then these amazing people walk out minutes later to greet their new client, a gorgeous puppy or kitten. Their emotions are up and down all day, they work long hours, absorb others pain, have emergency after hour calls and so much more.
Then as pet families we get frustrated with them, their costs, not having appointment times suitable for us and when they can't find out what's wrong even after lots of expensive tests. We then can thank them by being aggressive and violent when they are unable to save our furry family member.
All of these things contribute to so many vets suffering from mental health issues, and for many are they go unregonised, untreated or they just push through. Many vets and nurses can suffer from disenfranchised grief, they feel completely alone and isolated even though they are surrounded by others who understand. If you know a vet or vet nurse who may be struggling and needing support, please give me a call. I am also available to run group sessions in the clinic.

06/07/2023

Pet Death Doula
To prepare for a pets earthly ending there are quite a few big decisions. Whether to euthanise or natural passing? If you decide to euthanise would you prefer it at home or at the local vet? If the choice is natural passing, are you able to take enough time off work? Do you have supports in place to take shifts as a natural death can takes days and it is something you need to be prepared for. Home burial or cremation? Would you like a funeral for your pet? Would you like photography beforehand? Do you have certain rituals you like performed beforehand. There are so many things to consider and to arrange, these can be very stressful for a pet family. As a pet death doula, I can help you plan the day, and organise the services required. I am passionate to support you and your pet, also to create a peaceful environment where we show respect and love for all of your family. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.

06/07/2023

💔🌹 "Grief is the Price We Pay for Love." 🌈❤️

In the depths of loss, we find solace in this profound truth. Grief is not a burden but a testament to the love we shared with those who touched our hearts. Let us honor their memory by embracing the pain as a reflection of the deep bonds we formed. Together, we navigate the path of healing, knowing that every tear shed is a tribute to the immeasurable love we experienced. 🕊️💫

05/07/2023

04/07/2023

Let’s talk about Absent grief.
Absent grief is when a person doesn’t show emotion, or they act as if everything is ok. They can be seen as heartless or that they don’t care about the pets passing. The persons lack of emotion can cause conflict within a family. They will tend to take control of the situation as it is a distraction from what is really happening (denial). They know that the pet has passed but the lack of grief symptoms results from being stuck in the first stage of grief-denial. Being stuck in the denial stage will causes resistance and make it difficult to move on to the acceptance stage of grief.
Some Symptoms of Absent grief may be:
Irritability
No signs or symptoms of normal grieving
Forgetting about the loss
Continuing life as normal
Not feeling connected to the loss
The person may refuse to talk about the death, concentrate on work, focus on children, or spend more time than usual alone on their hobbies. They may also refuse to acknowledge your grief to others or have trouble understanding your grief and the emotions you are feeling and showing. The person could also turn to alcohol or drugs to continue the avoidance. This form of grief is thought to be a bad reaction to loss. Absent grief can also cause physical symptoms, fatigue, insomnia, heart palpitations and loss or increase of appetite. Absent grief will usually manifest at some point- generally when you least expect it. Once the person starts to accept the loss, which may take weeks or months they will be able to move on. This type of grief is fairly common but not recognised by many, so if you or someone you know may be suffering from absent grief please find support.

30/06/2023

Now for the hardest question...
When is it the right time to say goodbye?
For many of us, making this decision is one of the hardest things you will ever do. We ask ourselves so many questions in order to get it right. Are they in pain? Are they happy? Is it too early? We also talk ourselves out of it. But they are still playing with their toys. They are still eating. They are still going for walks.
We do this because we get caught up in our feelings, our fear of life without them. We have to remember "it's not about us."
For me, if you are asking the question, you know in your heart the answer but don't want to hear it. Our pets let us know when it's time, but many of us choose not to see it because we aren't ready. The truth is we will never be ready.
Here are some signs that you can look out for:
Your pet is sleeping more than usual.
Not eating as much or at all or needing to be hand fed.
Not interacting with the family or toys.
Are they in pain that can’t be managed by current medications? Are you able to afford the medication?
Can they still go outside to go to the toilet, or make it to the litter box?
Are they happy?
Staring out into space and being alone. rather than on the couch with you?
How much awake and happy time are they having?
Our pets all have a sparkle in their eyes, when that sparkle dims, they are ready.
It's about quality of life, if your pet is only playing for 10 minutes a day then sleeping for the rest, is that quality? If you are carrying them outside to toilet because they can't walk, is that quality? They are on heavy pain medications to get through the day, is that quality?
It is up to us to do the right thing for them, we will grieve and feel the pain, but prolonging it only puts off our pain but can cause pain for them.
One of the best ways to help with the decision is to make a plan in advance, decide what signs mean it's time for your pet to be let go and stick to those signs. Make a daily waggy tail chart and be consistent, mark the chart and if more often than not there isn't happiness then you know your answer.
Once you have decided it's time make a plan on when and where and sit with your decision, it will be hard, but love always has hard parts. I have often heard people say that they waited too long and regretted making their pet hold on and they would never do it again. They then live with guilt.
Our pets love us unconditionally and depend on us, please don't let them down when they need us the most. Letting them go with dignity, respect and love is the best thing you can do; for all of you.
Please get in touch with me if you would like a chat in regard to making a plan for your pets earthly ending.
Natasha

29/06/2023

I am now apart of Bayside Dog owners group and on their website. If you know of anyone needing support in the Bayside area please share this link as it will directly to the website. It's a fantastic site will lots of local businesses purely for our four legged mates.

This site is to help you make an informed choice. Bayside Dog Owners Group can NOT be held responsible for any actions of any of the businesses here.

28/06/2023

Yet we do it over and over again. Why? Because the pain is worth the love.

27/06/2023

Let's talk about Traumatic Grief.
Traumatic grief is the sudden loss of a pet. The death could be due to an accident where you witnessed your pet passing away. An emergency where you are rushing your beloved pet to the vet and having to make a quick decision on letting them go. Coming home to find they have passed away. Traumatic grief can also be when your pet goes missing and you never find them, the unknown, the questions, remembering your last moments together . You can relive the trauma over and over in your head without being able to make sense of what has happened.
I have felt this type of grief with my 1st love Petitche, we woke up for work as normal, she jumped off the bed then collapsed on the floor. I could see her struggling to breathe, I scooped her up and put her in the car. Unfortunately, she didn't make it to the vets, she died with my hand on her chest telling her I loved her, we then turned around and I took her home. The pain I felt was excruciating. Why didn't I get her to the vets quicker? Why didn't I notice something was wrong? Did she know I loved her? Did she hear me telling her I loved her? Why couldn't I save her?
These questions filled my days and nights for weeks. It was a normal day; how did it go so wrong so fast? I relived our last moments together over and over again, day night, while I was awake, while I was asleep, the guilt and trauma were taking me over. What i didn't know is that "Guilt impedes the grieving process" it stops you from seeing the truth and being able to move on, to deal with the pain. I went to the vet a week later, I needed to know if I could have done anything differently. The answer was No. I couldn't have known her heart valve would collapse, I couldn't have put her in the car any quicker than I did. Yes she did know I loved her and I did my best.
Traumatic grief can be one that only you can understand as everyone sees things differently. Even people who witnessed the accident or were there with you at the time will have different views to you. Guilt and trauma are huge emotions to feel and not easily overcome, finding the correct type of support is extremely important.

24/06/2023

I know Coleen personally and her grief continues years later. It just shows that the love we feel goes on forever, even when they aren't with us anymore. We chose to do this job because we understand how you feel as we have felt it too. For me more than once. 💜

This week is an emotional one for me. I knew when I woke up on June 19th, my heart knew it was not just another day. It was the anniversary date of death for my sweet Big Boy Harry. I will always be eternally grateful to for turning me around on a flight to Tampa and getting me right back here to Dallas to be here when Harry died. As I sat on that plane, and seeing Burke’s text to me inflight which said “today will be the day Harry dies… you need to just decide if you can make it home to be with him.” As I stared at that text, I knew I needed to try and make it home. Again, worked miracles and got me home. As I do with all my animals, he came home for a few days, and then we had a visitation at The Pet Loss Center where we all shared memories, and did a toast to him. What I remember most about sharing that story here with all of you was the number of people who private messaged me with “Why didn’t I know I could do all of this?” I hope stories like this give you all the permissions to think differently when you too are faced with the death of a sweet love… honor them in the way that’s right for you. There are no wrong answers! Oh, and if you are needing some details on how to keep your pet home for a day or so and their body safe, here you go, and thanks for letting me share. TwoHearts After Care 2 Pages (https://twoheartspetlosscenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Two-Hearts-Body-Care-for-Visitation-Guidelines.pdf)

23/06/2023

Why do we love our pets so much?
Some of my reasons are:
Unconditional love
Noncomplex -unlike hoomans who complicate everything!
Simple love
Honest-their tails say it all.
Loyal to a fault.
Live in the moment. for every moment
Nonjudgmental
Protective.
Smell good-puppy breathe is the best.
They know when we need extra love.
I would love you to add your reasons in the comments as we all have different ideas of what love is.

21/06/2023

What is a Pet Death Doula?
A Pet Death Doula is a comforting presence before, during and after the death of your pet by providing emotional, physical, and spiritual support to you, your companion and your family. I know this subject can be one of the most difficult things to talk about or even think about. Twice I have felt the pain and anguish of making these heartbreaking decisions, I am committed in making it as easy as possible for you, your family and especially for your pet.
SERVICES CAN INCLUDE:
Creating plan of comfort and ease for you and your pet
Initiating safe and compassionate conversation about death
Demystifying the dying process and euthanasia
Assistance in discovering the options and services available to pets and their humans
Memorializing and celebrating your special bond
Providing a more peaceful experience for all involved
Supporting natural after-death care in the comfort of your home
Supporting you and your family in grief
CONSULTS & PLANNING:
Just as it is beneficial to plan for our own death, it can be helpful to plan for the death of our beloved companions as well. Planning ahead can reduce hasty decisions, painful surprises and unnecessary trauma.
This service consists of in-person or online meetings to create an end-of-life plan for your pet. Together we will discuss everything about your beloved pet including resources, options, services, celebration of life and rituals. I will always follow your lead as they are your wishes, I will guide you to finding the most appropriate services available.
PRESENCE & SUPPORT
If you would like me to be present at the time of the pets Earthly ending to help support you, I most definitely can be.
GRIEF
As a qualified Counsellor I am able to support you through the process of your grief after your pets passing.

20/06/2023

Let's talk about Abbreviated grief.
This type of grief is genuine but short lived. Although it can still be as intense as other types of grief affecting your physical and mental health. Abbreviated grief can happen when the pet is old or suffering from a terminal illness, the paw parent may have been grieving for quite a while-Anticipatory grief. In this case it could look to others that the person or family didn't have a connection with the pet, or didn't really love them. This isn't true, it just means that they have dealt with the death before it happened and then after the passing, they have healed quicker and dealt with their feelings. Another reason might be, that they have brought a new pet into the home. For many families this is the best way for them to heal. Its a distraction from the pain they feel, and gives them something to focus on. If you know someone, who to you has gotten over their pet loss quickly, please remember this paw parent or family did love their pet, they are just dealing with it their way.

17/06/2023

If you feel your guilt towards letting your furry family member go is taking you over from being able to grieve. Please reach out, I completely understand and am here to help. 💜