Alan Davies - Civil Celebrant

05/07/2024

Officiating a funeral today, I was struck by the importance of stories and storytelling in making sense of a person's life. In the service, it was the stories - often seemingly small anecdotes from the past - that really told us who the deceased man was. Some of those stories I heard from the family at our meeting and put into the eulogy, others were told by family members during the service. It was the stories that allowed us to truly celebrate his life, to grieve, to take inspiration from his life and move on.

30/08/2023

Having delivered quite a few eulogies myself, I found this article very interesting...

Clapping should be mandatory at funeral services. For every life a standing ovation. Eulogies are like our earthly CVs.

13/02/2022

Beautiful wedding yesterday in the Fordham Gardens, Camberwell. Live cello music for the couple's entrance, pond with water-lilies in flower behind us, and a short simple ceremony that reflected the couple's wry sense of humour. At the end of the ceremony, the guests sang a song for the couple to celebrate their marriage. I know people don't usually go to a wedding expecting to sing, but the guests got into the spirit of it - they picked up the song quickly when I taught it before the ceremony, and sang it with great gusto at the end. What a great way to start a marriage - with your friends and family singing for you!

29/11/2020

Of course it's been very quiet on the wedding scene for the last few months, but I have done two recently. My first same-s*x wedding was very close to home at Newport Lakes Park - a short and simple ceremony, attended only by a few close friends because of Covid restrictions, but the couple's sense of humour and love for each other shone through in every moment of the ceremony.
And yesterday another small wedding on the other side of town, with the beautiful backdrop of Port Phillip Bay at Beaumaris. Seeing the couple's faces as they walked towards me down the aisle, a little nervous, a little overwhelmed, borne forward by their love and commitment, hearing them speak their personal vows, thoughtful, heartfelt and funny... it was a wonderful and uplifting experience.

02/04/2020

With a little creativity and little technology, you can still have a wonderful wedding...

With their kids clutching megaphones and peering over the neighbour's fence, a Melbourne couple has forged ahead with wedding plans amid coronavirus restrictions.

22/10/2019

What is it about Williamstown? I delivered a memorial service yesterday - in Williamstown - for a woman who was born in Williamstown and whose 4 children were all born there too. Guess where I was born? Yep, Williamstown! (Note to potential clients - yes, I do also travel to other places.)

30/09/2019

What a delightful wedding last Thursday! Bride and groom kept their personal vows private until they actually spoke them in the ceremony, so nobody (except me) knew what they were going to say. It was a wonderful, spontaneous, sometimes funny and deeply heartfelt moment. It made me reflect on just how great a gift a marrying couple give their guests, to invite them into their intimate space as they make this big step in their lives together. The guests certainly felt it on this occasion, and made their feelings known with a vigorous 'vow of support' for the couple that nearly raised the roof!

17/07/2019

Last week I delivered a memorial service that truly lived up to its aim of being a joyous celebration of a life. An elderly woman who'd lived a full and happy life, surrounded by friends and family. And they turned up in droves, the place was packed. She was a fanatical Bulldogs supporter, so the venue was a sea of red, white and blue. First time I've worn a football scarf in... well, a very long time. There were some very funny stories in the ceremony (largely written by her daughter), and unlike some funerals I've done, this group was definitely not afraid to laugh at them! The most moving part was when her grand-daughters spoke about how she'd been a big influence on them and encouraged them to be strong, independent women. Seeing these two confident and articulate young women speak from their hearts in front of a large crowd like this was a delight. And it gives some life to the old cliche that those who have passed away actually live on, in a sense, in the values and ideas they have passed on to those around them.

10/05/2019

A very moving funeral ceremony yesterday. A young woman, high-achieving, with a loving family and strong network of friends, who took her own life. Sitting around the kitchen table planning the ceremony with her family and friends, their huge burden of grief was palpable; but also their determination to share the stories, celebrate her life and achievements, and value the gifts she gave. As I conducted the ceremony, speaking to a packed hall, there were tears and laughter, sometimes all at once; people shared their strong emotions unashamedly. I reflected afterwards that being able to share grief in this way is such an important step in the healing process. For me, it feels like such an honour to be allowed into people's lives at a time when they are so sad and vulnerable. Making a strong connection with them and creating a ceremony that 'does justice' to the deceased person and celebrates their life appropriately... this is work that reaches to the depths of my heart.

26/03/2019

Beautifully written article by Sophie Aubrey in the Age. Quite a few quotable quotes in there, including this: "It is a leap of faith, an act of vulnerability, a vote for love, a hope for forever."

Millennials have not lost faith in the idea of life-long love.

10/01/2019

Another funeral ceremony this week for a local family. The deceased man was a much-loved father and grandfather and the chapel was full. After a long talk with his sons and daughters-in-law, with lots of stories about him, I almost felt I knew him too. Between us we created a ceremony that honoured him, celebrated his foibles and allowed for a few laughs too. One of his daughters-in-law, after speaking beautifully from the lectern and escorting the coffin from the chapel, suddenly asked, "Am I allowed to cry now?" Of course there were plenty of shoulders-to-cry-on and tissues on offer. I think an aim for me this year is to to do some reading and find out more about how people process grief. Strong and sometimes conflicting emotions are flying around, and if I understood the grieving process better, perhaps I could be more helpful.

19/11/2018

Ailsa and Phil's wedding on Saturday was a fun one... a relaxed and intimate atmosphere and a very enthusiastic group of guests - the cheer at the end nearly raised the roof! Plus I got to speak Italian (with lots of coaching), even if only for one sentence. Didn't dare to ask any of the native Italian speakers how well I did. And it's not often that the 'signing the register' music is composed and recorded by the couple themselves! What a delightful ceremony. Congratulations Phil and Ailsa!

30/04/2018

Beautiful wedding ceremony for Martha and Mike on Saturday night. They surprised their family and friends by inviting them to an engagement party that turned out to be a wedding! Lovely atmospheric setting with candles and bud-lights, live music and a ceremony with both heartfelt emotion and a sense of fun. At the end I led the guests in a song to celebrate the newly-married couple. I can't think of a better way to start married life than being surrounded by family and friends singing for you!

09/12/2017

Today I am replacing my old marriage forms with new ones to allow for same-s*x marriages. And in my template for the official wording I have to use in every ceremony - know as the 'monitum' - I have just replaced the words "a man and a woman" with "two people". Those words will now be spoken at every wedding, whether same or opposite s*x. Such great significance in a few words! I really didn't think it would happen this fast, but I'm delighted to be proven wrong.

07/12/2017

At long last the same-s*x marriage legislation has been passed! A big step towards equality in this country.

Australia has become the 26th country to legalise same-s*x marriage after the law passed on Thursday with the resounding backing of the Federal Parliament.

14/11/2017

Yes!

22/07/2017

Another funeral last week, just down the road in Williamstown. It's such a privilege to be part of the family discussions as they remember their loved one (in this case their mother), tell stories from the old days, hand around photos from various stages of her life, laugh and cry at the poignant memories that suddenly emerge, and work at finding the heart of the funeral ceremony; the words, the stories, the music, the images that make a fitting tribute to the person's life. And to be able to stand up in front of the family and friends, deliver that tribute and feel the connection it creates between those who knew and loved her - that is an awesome experience.

19/03/2017

My first funeral last week. Working with the family to create a ceremony that honoured and celebrated their Mum's life was truly awe-inspiring. They had so many stories, both poignant and funny, and so many fond memories. With words, readings, family tributes, a slideshow and non-verbal ceremonies, we created a funeral that brought tears and laughter in equal measure. The special training course I did a while back stood me in good stead as I knew the protocols of a funeral and what to expect. But the basics are the same for any ceremony - listening, supporting, finding the themes, planning out all the details and finding the right words and non-verbal components to make the ceremony fit the people and the occasion.