15/04/2025
For all those people and dogs with challenges. This is a great reminder. Other people's judgements, which are often uninformed, can hurt. I've been there and so have many of the people and dogs I work with, who love their dogs and invest in understanding and helping their dogs. Always return to what is best for your dog. That is what truly matters.
How to Handle Judgment from Friends, Family, and Strangers About Your Dog
If you have a reactive, anxious, or otherwise "challenging" dog, you're probably all too familiar with the unsolicited opinions.
Maybe a stranger gave you a dirty look when your reactive dog barked at them.
Maybe a friend casually said, "Shouldn't he be trained by now?"
Maybe a family member questioned, "Why does he need that muzzle? He looks scary."
These comments can sting, especially when you're already working so hard with your dog.
I hear about this struggle from my students every single day. The judgment from others often hurts more than the actual challenges of training.
Here's the thing: most of these people have never lived with a reactive or anxious dog. They've never experienced the daily management, the careful training, the emotional rollercoaster.
They simply don't understand. And that's not your problem to fix.
This is worth repeating: Other people's lack of understanding about your dog is NOT your responsibility to correct.
You are not obligated to educate every person who makes a comment about your reactive dog.
You don't owe strangers an explanation about why your rescue dog needs space.
You aren't required to justify your training methods to the opinionated neighbor who "raised three perfect German Shepherds."
Your energy is a finite resource. Every bit you spend defending your choices or explaining your dog's behavior to judgmental people is energy taken away from what actually matters - helping your dog thrive.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your dog is to smile, nod, and keep walking.
Your priority is your dog's wellbeing, not satisfying the curiosity or correcting the misconceptions of others. That's not selfish - it's necessary self-preservation for the marathon that training a challenging dog can be.
When someone questions why your dog wears a muzzle in public, remember: You're not muzzling your dog to please strangers. You're doing it because you're a responsible owner prioritizing safety.
When someone suggests you're "babying" your dog by using management tools, remember: You're not managing your dog to impress others. You're doing it because you understand your dog's needs better than anyone else.
When someone says "my dog would never act like that," remember: They haven't walked in your shoes. And honestly, they got lucky - not skilled.
So how do you handle these situations with grace?
First, prepare some simple responses in advance. Something like, "We're working with a trainer on a specific plan" or "This approach is what works best for my dog" can shut down many unwanted opinions.
Second, remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation. A simple "Thanks for your concern" and walking away is completely valid.
And finally, focus on your dog's progress, not others' approval. Are you seeing improvements, however small? Is your bond with your dog growing stronger? That's what truly matters.
The most important relationship here is between you and your dog - not between you and random strangers with opinions.
You aren't training your dog to impress others.
You aren't managing your dog to meet others' expectations.
You are showing up, every day, to help your dog navigate a world that can be challenging for them. And that makes you an exceptional dog owner.
Happy Training!
