08/10/2025
The equestrian culture is an odd one.
At many riding schools, you will often see beginners - both children and adults - being yelled at for every unfortunate mistake they make.
Complicated unwritten rules must be followed and if you accidentally take the tack off in the wrong order or lead your horse from the “wrong side”, you will be shouted at in exasperated tones, probably by an 11 year old who rides better than you could ever dream of.
The message is clear: If you are a beginner, that means you lack intelligence and had better stay small in your box or you will cause serious damage.
Staff at competition yards are often made to work long hours for very little pay, keep everything to extremely high standards and endure being yelled at if they make a mistake.
On social media, cult-like groups form where leaders block, delete or belittle if anyone asks a question. And on the other side of the coin, people hide behind locked profiles while they criticise every tiny aspect of a photo posted.
And stuck in the middle of all this is you, the person who just wants to do right by your horse. It is very hard not to absorb all the messaging: that you have no right to an opinion unless you’re an Olympic level rider that has been riding since you were two. If you don’t know how to Piaffe, what right do you have to question the Grand Prix rider who tells you to dig the spurs in because your horse is just lazy? If you’re not flying around courses of 120cm, what right do you have to wonder whether actually your horse just needs a rest when your instructor tells you he just needs more leg? If you only started riding as an adult last year, what right do you have, right now in the middle of your lesson, to ask your instructor if you could stop kicking the horse right now and see if taking the pressure off and working on your position will actually make more of a difference?
Imagine you’ve been struggling with problems your experienced friends have been advising you on, and you’ve been grateful for their guidance. Then you hear of something that feels intuitively right - something much gentler, much simpler.. but it goes against everything they’ve told you.
How much courage does it take to tell them that you are going to try this thing, and you don’t know if it will work? What if you fail, they withdraw your support, and you’re left all alone?
And how much more courage to shut out the judgemental whispers as you try and work out how to do this new thing that you are really unsure about?
When you’ve been surrounded by a culture that ridicules beginners, nervous riders, or anyone that questions.. you are afraid, unsure, and you don’t want to be alone if it doesn’t work out.. it can be incredibly difficult to step outside the box and give it a go.
So should you?
I promise you, if you asked your horse they would say YES PLEASE!!!!!
There is an illusion that successful horsemanship is about growing up around horses, winning at competitions, being one of the people that bosses others around in a loud voice.
But in actual fact, the horses don’t agree.
I rode from around 4 years old. I spent many hours riding problem ponies on long rides across the countryside. I trained as an instructor where I had to ride dressage, show jumping and cross country. I even competed for Cambridge University riding team. All this has undoubtedly given me valuable experience. However, the biggest progress for me has come as a result of letting go of everything I learned and rewriting the rules from scratch. The skills I needed to do this were empathy, self awareness and the ability to listen to my horse and trust my instincts. It was only when I tuned into these skills that horses began to say a big, loud “Yes!”
Of course, having experience is a massive advantage. But in the absence of critical thinking and growth, it can actually be stifling, because it makes people cling to what they’ve always known without question instead of listening to their instincts and to their horse. Fear of failure, and of being pushed into the contempt filled beginner zone, is enough to put many people off being brave enough to even consider a different way. (Sad, because having a “beginner’s mind” is actually one of the fastest roads to success).
I’m here to tell you that you can do this!
If you find yourself relating to this post, then these are skills that you already have. And they can guide you more than anyone else’s advice in the moment.
What do you think? Do you relate? Has this raised questions for you? I’d love to hear from you… comment below!
