24/07/2025
What the Equestrian World Doesn’t Want You to Know
Horses are gentle, emotional, sentient beings.
They feel pain. They feel fear. They experience confusion, loneliness, stress, and joy. Just like any other living creature. But for some reason, the equestrian community has long built its culture around pretending that isn’t true. Or worse: around punishing the horse for feeling those things in the first place.
And the truth is, it’s not just ignorance. Sometimes it is lack of education, lack of access to better information, tradition handed down without question. But other times, it’s purposeful. A refusal to look too closely. Because if we acknowledged that these animals are feeling beings, we’d have to admit what we’re doing to them.
And that’s uncomfortable.
So instead, we say the horse is being “naughty.” “Stubborn.” “Difficult.” We say they’re “testing us” or “just taking the piss.” We say it’s not pain, it’s attitude. Not fear, it’s disrespect. Not misunderstanding, it’s defiance.
We do this because it’s easier to believe that, than to sit with the fact that we are hurting them. That we are using fear and discomfort to make them submit.
Because the tools we use to control horses have to cause pain, discomfort or fear, or they wouldn’t work. Bits, whips, spurs, harsh nosebands, it doesn’t matter how kind someone claims to be, or how soft their hands are. These tools rely on one thing: the horse wanting to avoid what happens if they don’t obey.
And that’s the terrible truth.
We are teaching this to children. We are teaching them that it’s okay to kick or hit a pony if it doesn’t go forward. That it’s okay to pull and even yank them in the mouth to slow down. That it’s okay to ignore signs of stress or confusion, because “they’ll get over it.” We’re teaching them not to listen. Not to question. Not to feel.
We’re teaching them to shut down their empathy.
Would we teach a child to hit a dog if it didn’t sit? Would we tell them the dog is “just being a brat” and to show it “who’s boss”? No, we’d be horrified.
So why is it okay with a horse?
And why are the people who do ask questions, who do feel empathy, told they’re being silly? That they’re too soft? That “the horse likes it”? That is absolute nonsense.
The horse does not like being hit. The horse does not like being pulled or yanked in the mouth. The horse does not enjoy being kicked, whipped, or punished for not understanding. No matter how we try to make these acts sound pretty. Using words like “energy.” And “Motivation.”
They tolerate it. Because we’ve taught them they don’t have a choice.
But here’s the part no one tells you:
There is another way.
We can train horses using methods that involve no fear, no pain, and no force. We can use positive reinforcement, a science-based, ethical approach that reinforces the horse for making choices we like instead of punishing them for things we don’t.
It builds trust instead of fear. It encourages curiosity instead of shutting it down. It teaches the horse they have a voice and that we are listening.
And once you’ve seen what a horse looks like when they feel safe, heard, and genuinely willing… you’ll never want to go back.
It’s time to stop defending the old ways just because they’re familiar. It’s time to raise the standard, not just for the horses, but for ourselves.
It’s time to do better.
Photo: Jindi my brumby who is being trained with grass hay as her reinforcement.
