09/02/2023
So, I've been thinking of this for quite a while and haven't figured out the 'logistics' (ie, whether it will be well-received, or whether it'd be seen as 'that's horrific').. So, here's the gyst of what I’m thinking...
When someone passes away, there are many people when responding to the notice of someone's passing, who say things like "He always made me laugh when we did CP duty together in Bosnia!".. or "She was a great friend who I could always rely upon when we went through that 'thing', back in 1993.. (she'll know what I'm referring to)...
So, many people have said "I'd like to be at my own funeral, to see how many people show up and what they'll say.....
So here’s the idea and rationale behind it..
If anyone currently going through issues, or even those not going through crises, if they knew that other people / soldiers or otherwise, actually remembered them for a simple act of kindness, or a simple act of pushing their 'admin paperwork' forward during a tough time in their career, or a simple act of acknowledging that they knew that this person was a professional who put their work above their personal life, etc.. Wouldn't it be cool if those people knew that you were thinking of them at some point in 'your own’ life? What if at that precise moment, that they were thinking that their life wasn’t worth anything, that they saw a message to them in a public forum, that said to them “I appreciate what you did for me way back when”, or “He was always a great guy who could be relied upon to help me in a time of need”,,, Wouldn’t that be cool, to see those kind of messages while you were personally dealing with ‘issues’?
What I'm proposing, is that instead of merely responding to a post where another comrade has passed on whether at their own hand, or due to health, etc… wouldn’t it be nice to know that they are being thought of from time to time, for the good that they did? Instead of posting "RIP buddy", or "I will always remember you from Afghanistan in 2007" etc... why don't we start 'remembering' our friends today, before they make that final and last-minute decision, that will lead us to have to post our thoughts and memories of them 'after' they've done the deed..? It's just an idea, and I don't know the best way to go about it (my brain keeps saying “excel spreadsheet). but I'd think that if every so often, when you are sitting in your garage working on a tire if you posted "sitting here in my garage, thinking about Gary when he said "Tracks ain't wheels” in 1986 during a M113 course", or "Jimmy always told me that "where cattails don't grow, Tanks don't go", etc... wouldn’t it be cool to know when others had an impact on your life or career? Every person you have met in your life, has left an impression, but those people don’t ever seem to know that impression you left..!
So, before you post something about an old friend (or someone you didn’t get along with), as the old adage goes, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, would apply, because for those going through MH crises, they don’t need to hear something like “When we were on RV 1982, he really pi**ed me off when he told me to do this or that!!” Posting something negative, won’t be helpful for that person and the things they’re thinking of, so just keep those negative posts to yourself please…
So, if we keep this idea of ‘nice thoughts only’, and to boost people’s thoughts about themselves, so we don’t end up sending someone over the edge (if you know what I mean), There are too many self-injurious thoughts and other means to pass on those messages, that any message seen on here that might lead someone to self-harm, will be deleted (sadly, not quickly enough perhaps),, Let’s ‘keep it clean’ and positive please…
Here’s an example of what I’m thinking about:
The post would start with the name of the person – and anyone who had some positive thoughts about that person, would jump in and add their 2 cents and it’d go from there…
I will post a couple of examples here shortly, with the hopes that those who are struggling will see what effect they had on their military and post-military lives, so they understand that are still wanted / needed and a member of a Unit that will always stand with them. What we don’t know, is ‘when’ someone is falling behind, and sometimes that’s what’s missing, is the knowledge of another person’s / families’ issues, where it’s too late to help if we didn’t know about the issue in the first place.
The End-State is the same for everyone but the journey is our own.
Not knowing about someone’s journey when we might have been able to help, is a soul-crushing realization, when it’s too late..
Just a thought, and we’ll see how this evolves, and I hope that someone gets what we’re trying to accomplish as a family, and as a team.
Perseverance..!!!
