12/23/2023
Poisoned Praise
Lately I've been pondering experienced handlers who seem to be doing all the right things -enthusiastic markers, good technical personal play concepts, no obvious or heavy-handed corrections, good core training techniques- yet have dogs having a hard time.
From dogs who shut down to dogs who look bored to dogs that start to view the games we play with them as chores to slog through.
I'm not stranger to this myself. So what gives?
I believe a large factor (if not the largest factor) is poisoned praise. That although we've done all the right technical mumbo jumbo, that our dog doesn't believe our praise. Somewhere along the line we've poisoned it.
How? It comes in many forms, but these are the most common versions I see -and almost always there is a large combination of elements at play.
1) Frustrated handlers dealing out frustrated praise. We are trying to pass off a lie and they know it. If our praise feels like cloaked frustration, that's the end emotional result.
2) Drilling Skills. For all but a few dogs repetition kills enjoyment yet many of us continue to train and train and train to get something "right".
3) Focusing on Specific Skills too Early. Before we can truly get skill we need attitude, teamwork and communication. Many experienced handlers want to rush into skills. If you don't allow the dog to cultivate desire first, you're gonna have a heck of a time getting a great performance.
4) Obligatory Praise. As handlers we know we should reward our dogs. However if praise, treats or tug feels like a chore to the handler, the dog feels that in the communication. Just another chore on the training front today. Thanks.
5) Praise is Pressure. I could write a whole post on the topic, but in a nutshell as we advance skill sets praise comes with a level of pressure. When we earn an A on a paper we feel we should be able to earn similar again. Less than an A can make us feel defeated, even if we weren't prepared adequately. If we keep pushing the envelope on skills, sooner or later you are going to find a dog who has some level of pressure stress. Where pressure lives desire and joy get worn away. Couple this with the fact that there is handler pressure too and the dog praises us with the wanted behavior, the team can quickly be dealing with a heck of a lot of pressure.
6) End Goals are Prioritized Over the Process. Especially for handlers well into their sports, there is a conscious or unconscious push towards the end goal -getting on that competition floor. It motivates you, but it often also takes you out of the moment when you train your dog. Plan away, but not being present with your dog is a very, very good way to create disconnect and make your praise seem hollow and fake. Don't go through the motions.
7) Making Mountains out of Molehills. People -experienced or not- have the very odd ability to find a single great session amazing while completely unravelling with one off session. We all have set-backs, but I promise just like a few great repetitions isn't actually as amazing as you think it is, nor is a couple of bad repetitions as detrimental as you may believe. What we communicate is what's going to hold water long term. You don't need to be super duper happy about the set-backs, but save your mental breakdowns for when you're not playing with your dog. Honestly, it's just dog sports. You're not curing cancer.
8) Not Taking Time to Play. Interact like you mean it. Play for the sake of playing. Quit training and have fun (a lot of handlers truly don't know how to mentally entwine the two). Build muscle memory for joy, desire, messy speed. You can refine it later. You obviously have the skills to teach "stuff". Now teach yourself to have enough fun that your dog believes you.
9) Quest for Perfection. We all want our dogs to do it right, but I promise the quickest way to strip desire in a dog is to make them go back and fix their work. God what a chore! Like a teacher over your shoulder telling you the moment you get something wrong. What a nag! Keep flow. Keep momentum. Keep speed. Keep desire. Those are way the heck harder to train anyway. Don't worry at some point you'll have enough steam in the tank to fix things, but until you actually have that, keep moving. Poor finish -keep moving! Missed a jump -keep running! You do not need to make it "right" all in the same session.
10) Time Lines. Deadlines create pressure. If we want X by Friday, unless it's already close to ready, I will need to strip desire in favor of simply "getting it done". There are times I may need to do such, but if more than 10% of my training is rushed, that rushed feeling is going to start to poison things. Rushing kills the process, which kills joy. Marie Kondo would feel we should throw it out.
If you think you may have poisoned your praise I encourage you to take a training break. A couple of weeks or even a couple of months. Enjoy your dog. Begin to grow a new praise system -one they believe and buy into. Allow them to show you how brilliant they are and have them believe it. Let them be cheeky.
When they have some fire in their soul, then you are ready to try again, going slow, relishing each session as two teammates who at the end of the day really enjoy time spent together.
