12/25/2024
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – Kendal Hills Farm Edition (Director’s Cut)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all ’round the farm,
Not a creature was stirring—thanks to pest control charm.
The traps were all placed by the chimney with care,
In hopes that no rodent would ever dare.
The chickens were nestled all snug in their coop,
Dreaming of corn, not some holiday soup.
The turkeys, however, were wide-eyed with fright,
Suspicious of anything shiny and bright.
The two horses dozed in their warm little stalls,
Snoring so loudly, it shook the barn walls.
While out by the gate, old Billy the goat,
Was now gnawing holes in Santa’s red coat.
The six dogs were sprawled out, guarding the land,
One snored by the porch, a toy in his hand.
Two cats by the fire stretched long and sleek,
Plotting world domination—quiet and chic.
The kids were tucked in, with dirt on their hands,
From harvesting mushrooms so the gravy wouldn’t be bland.
Their dreams filled with ponies and candy galore,
While one still muttered, “Let’s check for more.”
Inside the farmhouse, the lights were down low,
Mom and Dad on the couch, enjoying the show.
With popcorn in hand, they could barely believe,
That Gladiator 2 was their movie on Christmas Eve.
When out in the field there arose such a clatter,
The dogs shot up to see what was the matter.
I paused the big fight scene, dashed to the gate,
Thinking, “Not the fence again—great.”
Through the mist and the moonlight I squinted to see,
St. Nick and his sleigh stuck under the tree.
The goat had climbed up to the sleigh with such glee,
Nibbling the reins like they were spaghetti.
The horses looked guilty, heads hanging low,
One pawed at the snow, as if to say “Oh.”
Santa just chuckled, adjusting his hat,
“This isn’t the strangest stop I’ve had.”
He filled all the feeders with treats and good cheer,
Leaving oats, hay, and carrots for each in the rear.
He left mushroom kits by the back kitchen door,
And the script of Gladiator 3—just for more.
Then tossing some catnip to feline patrol,
He winked at the turkeys, “You’re safe, bless your soul.”
Up the sleigh lifted, the goat sliding off,
Landing on hay with a dramatic scoff.
And I heard him exclaim, as he soared past the barn,
“Merry Christmas to all—and watch that goat on the farm!”
