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Monday 10am - 6pm Tuesday 10am - 6pm Wednesday 10am - 6pm Thursday 10am - 6pm Friday 10am - 6pm Saturday 10am - 6pm

http://www.ruffnstuffdogcare.com/

Ruff N Stuff Dog Care, 671 Memorial Avenue, Qualicum Beach, BC (2024)

06/08/2024

Sweet Copper, it’s hard to believe tomorrow it will be one week since I last touched your beautiful fur. I think your body has been cremated now. I’m not sure, and I’m too afraid to call and ask. I’ll just wait a few more days and see if the vet office calls me. I must admit though, I do feel like I need your ashes so that I can feel like we’re truly together again. I know you’re still here in spirit, I feel you constantly. I just feel like something is missing, and I think it’s your ashes.

I signed up to foster again! I know I’m not ready to bring in another dog to adopt, but I think fostering would be good for me. Gosh, I loved those days when we would go to the shelter and pick a litter of puppies to foster. You loved each and every one of those tiny little babies. You didn’t even mind when they climbed on you, and pulled your tail. You’ve always been so patient, so gentle, so kind.

Do you remember when we fostered the ferrets? Oh I’m sure you do! Oh how your heart filled with happiness each morning when it was time to take them out for a little play! I would ask you if it was time to wake up the stinky-butts and you would start whining like crazy! You sure loved those little danger noodles! They loved you too. I would laugh so hard my face would hurt watching them play hide and seek with you. You would give them a little head start, and they would race for the empty box and climb right in. I can still hear you sniffing away, pretending like you didn’t know exactly where those little rascals were hiding! I would give anything for just one more day watching you play with those critters!

Alex and I were talking about how you always made people smile. My favorite thing in the world was watching people’s faces as they saw you proudly carrying the grocery bags in your mouth. You carried those bags down the street like it was the most important job in the world. It didn’t matter how miserable someone was, the moment they saw you doing that they couldn’t help but smile. I loved that. I used to say if I had a nickel for every person that you made smile I would be a millionaire. How on earth did I ever get so lucky to have you choose me to be your person??

Last night as I walked down the trail I found myself reaching for the phone. I was about to open youtube, but I stopped myself because I thought “What if I miss one of your beautiful signs?” I need to be present, I need to keep watching. I need your gifts so much right now.

Copper, I need to apologize to you. I remember how I used to watch youtube videos on our walks at night. I think I knew, I knew our time together was coming to an end and I just wasn’t able to cope with it. I think it was easier for me to numb the pain by watching videos or playing my stupid games. The one thing that haunts me the most is our last week together when we would get home from our walk. I would load up my game, and I would hear you whimper beside me. I would stop for a moment and give you a pet, but gosh why didn’t I listen to you!!!!! I wish I had turned that damn game off and held you for as long as I could. I’m so sorry Copper.

I was wondering about something else today. When I would talk about how much your vet bills were, I would do it in front of you. I’m sorry. I hope you know that you were never ever ever EVER a burden to me. Sure, $40K in vet bills is a lot, but Copper please know, please Copper… PLEASE know that if someone told me right now that for $40K I could have just one more day with you, heck, one more minute with you I wouldn’t hesitate to spend it all over again!!! That money gave me 11 more months with you. I am so grateful for absolutely every second that I got with you, and I don’t regret it for one second!

It’s getting so hot outside now, Copper. I remember in the winter I couldn’t wait for the summer! I dreamed of us returning to the beach and swimming again. I thought, “If I can just get Copper to summer everything will be okay! “ Now summer has arrived, but… well… you know. I know that Pepper, and Tripp, and Jawa would love so much to go to the beach and go for a swim, and I want so much to take them! How do I do this though? I don’t know if I’m strong enough. I think I liked it better when it was raining because at least then I felt like the angels were crying. Now the sky is blue, and the sun is shining bright and life just goes on. I’ve asked so much of you already Copper, but I need to ask something more. Please give me the strength to keep going. I want to give Pepper, Tripp, and Jawa the same love that I gave you. I want them to be just as happy.

I love you so very much Copper.

06/07/2024

My beautiful Copper dog, yesterday was easier. I actually made it through the entire day at work without crying! I even managed to smile when customers walked in.

I promoted Tripp to assistant manager. I’m sorry, I know you were always having to tell Tripp to back off. He wanted so desperately to be accepted by you, but that crazy pup always seemed to push your buttons. I used to think you didn’t like him, but I now I think maybe you knew he would soon have to start taking over some of the tasks around here, and you wanted him to be ready for such a big job. He’ll do okay Copper. He’ll never be Boss Dog. That’s your position.

Thank you for giving me the strength to get through the day yesterday. I smiled more yesterday than I have since this chapter of our story began. Yesterday you guided me onto a beautiful trail. You reminded me of our incredible adventures! Oh how I loved our adventures. I remember how we would walk for hours searching for waterfalls. You were always so happy. I loved how you would only go so far from me, then turn back and make sure I was still following a long. Sometimes, when I was a little too far you would lay down on the trail and happily wait for me to catch up. I always felt so safe, so protected with you.

As I walked along the trail yesterday I thought of our time together. It truly was an epic adventure we had. I thought of our time together as a book with chapters and sequels. This part of our book is now ending, and a new sequel will eventually begin. I thought back on all the dogs that have come into my life over the years. I loved them all, but You, Cindy, and Aussie were so very special.

Cindy came into my life when I was just a little girl. My dad says he found her in the middle of the road and said “This looks like a Colleen’s dog” From that day forward Cindy and I were always together. People never asked where I was. They would say “Where’s Colleen and her dog?” In those days my favorite thing in the world was teaching Cindy how to slide down the big metal slide at the park. She would tolerate my craziness for as long as she could, then she would bolt home! I still remember chasing her up that big hill!!! Oh that made me so mad!

Next came Aussie. Aussie was older when he came to us, but I loved him so very much. We loved to go on adventures too! Our favorite thing to do was go geocaching. He was such a handsome boy. He was so full of love. I still miss Aussie. After Aussie left I thought my heart would be broken forever. I remember crying on the back deck. I cried so hard I thought the tears would never stop. One day while I was crying I felt him push so hard against my leg. I had no doubt that was him telling me he was still there with me. When you came a long my heart felt full again. I promised you I would never take a moment of our time together for granted. My biggest regret was not telling Aussie that I loved him often enough, so I made a point of telling you each and every day how much I loved you.

Yesterday, as I walked and reflected on my time with Cindy, Aussie, and you I wondered if maybe it was you each time. All of a sudden things just started to make sense for me. Sure, you looked different each time, but the connection I felt was so magical so real, so pure each and every time! Of course it was you! I started thinking about our next epic adventure and what it might look like. Maybe this time instead of just exploring trails, we can explore the world? I would love to travel. I always wanted to travel with you, but it just wasn’t the right time in my life for that.

Well my beautiful boy, it’s time for me to go to work again. Thank you so much for giving me the strength to keep going. Thank for your giving me signs throughout the day that you’re still here with me. I love your signs so much.

06/06/2024

My beautiful Copper Dog, it’s been 4 days since I last stroked your beautiful fur. Yesterday was hard, so hard, but a little easier than the days before. I took the day off work because I just wasn’t ready to go back to life as normal yet. Alex needed me yesterday. He had something he needed to do in Nanaimo. When I realized that the place I had to take him would take me right back to the place we parked on our last day together I cried. I cried so hard, but I forced myself to go because I promised you I would be okay.

On the way to Alex’s appointment I was feeling sad again. I had been okay for a while, but as my mind shifted over memories of you and me together I felt my heart get oh so heavy. I thought to myself how much I wish I could just die so I could be with you again. Even now, you’re still watching over me though. I know this because you sent me a sign. Don’t worry Copper, I see some of your signs. I’m sure I miss a lot too. The grief clouds my vision sometimes, but I saw it this time. The beautiful hand-written sign that someone had painted and nailed to a telephone pole “DON’T GIVE UP” I read the sign, and knew you were with me. Thank you for the sign, Copper. Thank you for that beautiful gift.

Yesterday I asked you to give me a little bit of space because I just could not breathe. I know you thought you were protecting me by staying so close to my heart, but I needed to ask you to back up just a little. Thank you for listening. I could feel you move just a bit further away, and for the first time since this all started I was able to take a deep breath. It felt really good. Do you remember on our walks, before the illness started to take over your body, how you would fly up the trail ahead of me? Just before you got out of my sight you would turn back and look at me. It was as if you were saying “I’m still here Momma! I’m just having fun up here, but I’m still watching over you! That’s what I need from you now. I need to know you’re up there having fun, flying free, but still watching over me. Thank you for listening to me, Copper. Thank you for letting me breathe. Thank you for watching over me.

Thank you for using this sweet Kitten to send me hugs. She’s been doing a great job Copper. I can’t count how many times she’s jumped on my lap and started to purr oh so loudly. She presses up against my heart and just stands there purring. I think you knew that I wouldn’t be ready to reach out to Pepper, Tripp or Jawa just yet, so you told the kitten to help me. You’ve always been such a wonderful guardian.

I sat with Jawa on the grass yesterday surrounded by tiny baby bunnies. Don’t worry, I didn’t let Jawa hurt the babies. I know how much you adore babies! One of the baby bunnies had this grumpy little face. I thought about how you would have licked that grumpy face all over! You would have made that face happy! I smiled as I thought about you surrounded by babies.

Do you remember Skittles the baby raccoon? I’m sure you do! You were so good with Skittles! I remember how he would steal your toys, and you would let him get away with it for a little bit, but then you would just walk over and sn**ch your toy back. He would throw a fit, and you would just sit there smiling at him.

I loved your games! I loved how you would take my shoe and follow us around the house play growling with it in your mouth. “LOOK AT ME MOM! LOOK I HAVE YOUR SHOE!” I loved that so much. You were so happy your entire body wiggled! Your tail would wag so hard I thought you were going to break the wall down! Gosh, I would give anything to see that again.

Yesterday you sent me an image of a dog with whitish blue eyes. I think you’re telling me that you’re already busy up there finding me another heart dog. I’m not ready yet though. I’m not ready to move on yet. I know you will find the perfect companion for me again, and when that day comes I promise you I will embrace your gift, but for now I need to grieve. I need to celebrate our beautiful bond. My heart is still so sore. It is getting easier though Copper. The days are getting a little brighter.

Thank you for being such a huge part of my life Copper. I don’t know what it is that you see in me, but I must be a pretty special person to deserve such an angel as you. Can you help me see that Copper? Can you help me to see myself the way you saw me? You spent your days teaching me to be brave. You taught me that people can love, and be kind, and that not everyone wants to hurt me. I am so grateful for those lessons. I just wish I knew what it was in me that you saw. I could see it in your eyes. The beautiful gaze that would come over your face each and every time you looked at me. It was like you were looking at the most beautiful angel you had ever seen.

I have to work today Copper. Please give me the strength to go through the day. I don’t want to cry every time someone walks through the door and I don’t here you bark. I want to smile and be grateful that this person trusts me so much that they would honor me with letting me care for their sweet angel. I know they love their fur babies just as I love you. Please Copper, help me to be grateful.

06/05/2024

My beautiful Copper dog, it’s been 3 days since we said our goodbye. The pain is just so raw, so unbelievably raw. I worked yesterday. I took your picture and placed it in the shop on your bed. It helped a little. Then a customer would walk in and my heart would break all over again because I didn’t get to hear your bark. I didn’t get to tell you to be quiet! Why on earth did I ever tell you to stop barking?? I would give anything to hear you again. I wish I appreciated your barking more. I loved how you would gently wag your tail every time you barked. You were always so happy to see people and you were always so caring with the dogs that came in for a haircut. You carefully watched over the scared ones, and sometimes even reminded me to take it slow with those that needed it. I loved how happy you would be to see a puppy come bounding into the shop. Some people got scared when you growled, but I knew you were just telling those puppies that you were the boss. You were, are, and always will be Boss Dog.
I decided to close the shop today. I need another day. I’m just not ready to go back to life as usual. Life will never be usual again. Everyone says I need to eat, but I can’t. I try. I just can’t. I always shared my meals with you. Alex tried to get me to eat lasagna last night. That was one of you absolute favorites! I tried to eat some, but I just couldn’t. I even tried to eat a few jelly beans. I remember how much you loved the green ones. Not just any jelly beans though, nope. They had to be Jelly Bellies! Green Jelly Bellies. You sure loved those! You were a silly boy at times. What dog likes Jelly Beans?? I don’t know if you really liked them or just ate them because you saw it made me smile. Thank you for the smile.
Yesterday, on my way home from the farm I think you sent me a squirrel! It was so hard, but I reached over to Pepper like I used to do to you. I stroked her on the head and I said “I love you Pepper” I felt like I was betraying you! I did though, and just as I did it, this black squirrel ran out onto the road and all hell broke loose in the truck! 3 dogs barking like crazy at a tiny black squirrel. That squirrel ran in a straight line in front of my truck for a good 15 seconds. It could have just simply crossed the street, but instead it chose to run in front of the truck. I’m positive that was you telling me to laugh. So I laughed. Thank you for that laugh.
The squirrel reminded me of our time at the doggy park. Gosh you loved that park so much. You especially loved chasing the squirrels. I know buddy, they had it coming! I brought your laser light with me on our walk. I shined it on all the big tree’s that you used to love jumping on, and I pictured you there beside me chasing your darn light. How on earth after so many years did you not figure out that you can’t catch that thing?? I think you knew. You just knew that it made me smile. Thank you so much for all those smiles.
I reached out to a group of animal communicators last night. I know. I was desperate. Why do I need some stranger on the internet to tell me you’re beside me? Why on earth do I need a total stranger to look at your picture and tell me that we’re still together?? I probably don’t need it, but I sure want it. I want to hear that you are still with me, that somehow we’re still standing together.
I couldn’t wait to go to bed last night. I know this sounds so bad, but now when I close my eyes I think, I’m one more day closer to being with you. I don’t want to live anymore. I wish I could just close my eyes and this would all be over. They say that this is all part of the grieving process, and that I eventually won’t feel that way. I don’t know. When you were with me I believe in heaven. I believed in heaven on earth because you were my angel, but you’re gone now. Now I just feel like there’s hell on earth, and I’m smack dab in the middle of it.
Yesterday really sucked, but it was a little easier. I loved the gifts you sent me. I needed them so much. Please never stop sending me those gifts. Please let me know often that you are still with me in spirit. I need that so much.

06/05/2024

My beautiful Copper dog, It’s been two days since I said my final goodbye to you. I’m so lost. I’ve created a new game. The goal of the game is to see how long I can go when I wake up before I cry. I made it about 5 minutes today. I guess that’s good, since I beat yesterdays record of zero minutes.
I’m angry today. I’m mad at the world. Why can’t the world just stop for a minute??? I can’t breathe. Life just seems to go on like nothing happened. Like the world didn’t just lose the most precious angel ever! Can’t everyone see that the world is so much darker now?!?! You were my light. You were my everything, and now you’re just gone.
I placed your picture on your bed in the shop so I can look over and see your beautiful face. I’ve never loved and hated something so much!!! I love how happy you are in that picture laying in the sand on the beach. I love that I had the presence of mind to make such a beautiful memory of you. I hate that it has replaced you on your bed! I hate that now when I reach over to touch you all I feel is glass. I would give anything, I mean anything to just feel your fur between my fingers again!
Do you remember how on our way home from our walks I would look over at you and say “I love you so much Copper”? Please tell me you remember that. It was so important to me that you know how much you were loved EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. What you probably don’t know is that the reason I did that was because when Aussie got taken away from me I didn’t have a chance to tell him how much he means to me. Now that you’re in heaven, can you please tell him he was so loved. He was my special boy just like you were, are, and always will be. Actually, come to think of it, I remember a time when I thought my heart would never ever heal after Aussie left me. It did heal though, when you came into my life the darkness went away, and I saw the light again. Copper please find me again. Please. Just please. I’m not strong enough to face this world without you. Please just find me.
Yesterday I walked the trail that we walked together every day. I cried when I saw the track marks in the mud from your stroller. I remember the last day I pushed you down that trail in your stroller. Something seemed different. Sure you still happily searched for your light, but you were so tired. I could see it in your face. You tried to hide your pain from me, but I saw it. I knew it wasn’t fair to hold on to you any longer.
Thank you for going so peacefully Copper. Thank you for just putting your head down and falling asleep. Thank you for all the beautiful memories we made together. Right now those memories hurt so much to think about, but I know one day I’ll use those memories to keep you next to me.

06/03/2024

My dearest Copper. My friend suggested that I write down my feelings, that somehow by writing it all down it would lessen the pain that I am feeling right now. I don’t know how that’s even possible. My heart is so very broken right now. I woke up this morning crying. The house is so quiet, so empty. It’s filled with memories of our time together. No matter where I look I see you. I knew when I woke up yesterday that it was time to let you go. My head new it was time, but my heart didn’t want to let you go. I wanted so much to wrap you in my arms and run away with you. If only it was that easy, right? You and me facing this heartless and cruel world together. Somehow you made life livable. You gave me a reason to get up every day, and even on my worst days I was so grateful to have you there beside me. How am I supposed to go on now? Tomorrow I have to work. How on earth am I going to go through the entire day without you barking at each client as they walk in?? It drove me nuts! Gosh the barking was crazy, but I would give anything to hear you bark again. I don’t care if the customers didn’t like it. You were just saying hello! You were, are, and always will be Boss Dog.
I put a picture of you on your bed. Each time I walk by, I reach down and touch the picture. I whisper “I love you so much Copper dog” do you hear me? I hope so, it’s the only thing getting me through right now.
Matthew’s having a very hard time accepting that you’re really gone. I was thinking about how mad I used to get at him. I would be yelling at him, and you would crawl up on his lap and give me the saddest look. “Come on Mom, it’s Matthew! You can’t get mad at Matthew!” Without fail, every single time I would back down. You loved Matthew, just like you loved us all. I’m pretty mad at Matthew right now though. I want to yell at him, I want to tell him how much it hurts me that he is choosing what he’s doing over being here right now. I know I can’t yell at him though because you aren’t here to stop me. What if I say something I’ll regret? I dunno, Copper you might need to spend some time with him now. Let him know I love him even when I’m mad.
I keep telling myself that I’m going to be okay. I promised you yesterday. As you took your last breath I promised you I would be okay. I’ll keep my promise. I always do. I remember when you were little. I promised you that no matter how much it hurt me, I would never let you suffer. I promised you that when you could no longer run and play, and enjoy life I would let you go. I would end your suffering. I kept that promise too. I kept that promise even though I feel like a part of me died right along beside you.
Do you remember Auntie Faye? I’m sure you do. She always loved our visits. She passed on last week. Her spirit is up there with you now. Can you tell her I love her. Tell her I’m sorry I wasn’t there for her as much as I wanted to be. Let her know that I always appreciated her kind words.
Now that you’re in the place called the Rainbow Bridge you’ll get to meet so many new friends. There’s a few special souls out there I need you to meet. Cindy-Bear was my very first dog. You never got to meet her, but I know she’s there waiting for me. Aussie was such a special friend to me. Please let him know I love him so much! Oh and Timber!!! Timber had such a hard life here on earth, but his last few years were filled with joy and love. He’s such a wonderful boy. There are a few very special kitties there too! Hopper and Callie are there waiting for Alex. Please let them know how much Alex misses them both. One day we’ll be together again, all of us. Just one huge family.

06/02/2024

Oh this is so hard. I had to make the impossible decision today to say goodbye to my beautiful Copper dog. He's been fighting so hard, I just couldn't watch him struggle another day. I'll still be open on Tuesday, but please be patient with me if I'm not quite myself. As most of you know Copper was not only my best friend he was also my service dog for many years. These last 11 months have been so hard for both of us, but I'm so grateful to everyone for all of their support and encouragement. Words can't begin to express how grateful I am to Qualicum Beach Animal Hospital for helping us through this entire ordeal. Lol, Copper wasn't a big fan of Dr. Ashley when they first met. In fact he growled at her the first several times she met him, but towards the end he absolutely adored her. Copper went peacefully at Nanaimo Central Emergency Veterinary Hospital at 12:30pm surrounded by Jawa, Alex, and of course me.