10/20/2023
When you've been raising goats for any period of time, you figure out what works and what doesn't. For those who are new to goats, they may be unaware of the dress code required.
1. If you have long hair, wear it tied up high. Goats see your hair as fine dining hay and will chew it up when your back is turned, leaving slimy cud filled broken hair chunks matted up in your remaining hair.
2. Do not wear anything with dangling strings or fringes, or they will suffer the same fate as loose hair. It's best to think of a goat's mouth as a PTO on a tractor.
3. No open toed shoes. It may seem inoccuous, but inevitably your heaviest goat will see your bare toes and assume they are pink caterpillars that need smashing.
4. Crocs are great barn wear...until they aren't. If mud or snow or birth fluids or urine will be a concern, its best to stick to boots. Never, never, never wear your good shoes to the barn. You will inevitably forget you wore them to the barn the next time you head into town, and there will be a hay-filled poo clump stuck to the bottom that will turn heads.
5. Have a barn jacket. This will become a sacred clothing article, as its pockets will become like Mary Poppins' carpet bag, possessing every instrument you will need in a pinch. It will possess syringes, medication bottles, thermometers, weight tapes, fence staples, pocket knives, baling twine, flashlights, and the buttons your goats have probably chewed off of this sacred jacket.
Beyond this list, express yourself in your individual fashion, but be aware that whatever you wear to the barn will ultimately belong to the goats and not you. The barn will snag you, the goats will shed on you, milk will spill on you, etc. Eventually, you will become one with the barn, like Davy Jones' crew to his ship. Its okay. You are in good company 🐐
