10/23/2025
âI canât give up.â
I get so many of the same scenarios: where people tell me generally the same story, and feel completely alone and hopeless. I see people struggle for YEARS with the same horse.
Iâm here to tell you... if youâre not having fun... let it go and sell that sucker! Itâs ok! Youâre not a failure!
Let me start of by saying I learned this out of necessity. Saying youâre a horse trainer might as well read âYou could make more money at McDonaldâs and following Dave Ramsey.â But we do it anyway. My first real, solid, winning barrel horse was âHottie.â I loved her! I could win small stuff, Northside, and small pens, she was great, but my life situation wasnât. I was getting divorced, I had bills to pay, I had colts to ride and I made the tough decision to âlet it goâ and I traded her for a truck. I NEEDED that truck.
Is that the end of my story? Did I never find another good horse again? Heck no! They got 100x nicer. Things I didnât even know I would like, papers I never thought I could ride... I sifted through horse after horse, always selling my nice ones and always finding nicer ones.
Fast forward a few years and I had Jay, I LOVED that horse like my kid. He could win and place at the level I wanted to compete at, if I didnât hit a barrel, I got a check. He was great! But again, my life situation wasnât. I was in college, and I wanted to cash flow it, selling Jay meant I could pay cash to finish my degree and graduate college with no student debt. I cried when they loaded him up. I still get to see him here and there, of course I still miss him, but Iâm glad he got to make other girls dreams come true too.
I tell you about these two because it was HARD to let them go. I thought I would never have another winner and Iâve had tons.
Now if I could let those good ones go, how hard do you think it was to let the bad ones go? Maybe they werenât bad horses but they were bad for me. I love a challenge, but some horses simply arenât worth it.
My first Dash Ta Fame I got stuck on. I wanted one so bad I couldnât see straight. I worked for years to afford one, I got him broke, and trained, at the end of the day, him and I just werenât a match. He would give me just enough hope, laying a good run down sporadically enough for me to keep trying. I wasted THOUSANDS on him, between time, riding him, vet bills, etc... and he just wasnât going to be what I needed. It was a black hole, and I blamed myself. Years later, he still hasnât shown up to compete... and he should have, he was bred to be a champion, but sometimes thatâs just how it goes. If I could do that over, I would have sold him when I was offered good money as a 3 and 4 yr old, instead of taking an incredible loss later. Lesson learned. I bet Iâve had 6 DTFâs by now, all much better than him.
Now when I was younger and super broke, I struggled longer with them than I would today! (Bye Felicia đđ») I got help and rode with trainers to help me overcome situations I hadnât been in before. I learned a lot of things, and I learned how to pick which problems I will deal with, and which ones I wonât.
First, I had to overcome the thought that I had something to prove, because I donât. This should be fun. I want to enjoy the time I spend with my horses, and I donât want to feel like a failure or feel hopeless every time I go to the barn.
On another note, I often hear people tell me they are scared to sell them because what if someone else does good on them? GOOD FOR THEM! Again, that doesnât mean youâre a failure, it means that wasnât a match. If you HATE a person, are you going to keep trying to be friends with them? Going to try to get them down the isle? NO! Youâre going to tell them to peace out and not look back. âđ»why do people want to hold on to bad horses so long?
So many people hold on to that a$$hole horse and stifle any chance you have at finding a horse thatâs a great fit for you!
Now as much as I like a challenge, and I love my problem kids, I do enjoy having one thatâs easy peasy, no BS đ©, and wants to participate at the event every time! Iâve always had to sell that horse in the past, which is why I went to college (and in case I ever broke my leg riding or something lol McDonaldâs is just sounding better and betterđ), I wanted to get myself in a financial position that if I had that horse, I could turn down ridiculous amounts of money for him just because I wanted to keep one.
I had to go through a gajillion horses to get to that, and a lot of stellar horses that are still winning today with other jockeys.
Selling horses is like dating. Each time you learn something else that you wonât deal with, or what you love most and you apply that to the next one. Expanding your knowledge and skills.
I sell NICE horses everyday that I would be more than happy to keep and go on with myself. Itâs a good problem to have. I learned that skill set by not being afraid, and not getting stuck on one.
So to whoever needs to hear this today, itâs is OK to let go. It doesnât mean youâve been defeated, or youâre a failure as a rider. Itâs ok if someone else can get that horse figured out, because youâre looking for your perfect match. đŠ When you find that horse, I promise you will wonder why you dealt with all those bad ones so long.... sound familiar?
You're not giving up, you're getting smart.