04/03/2023
I had an opportunity to do a presentation today to some amazing woman who are fellow equine professionals. It's here if anyone wants to have a read and would like to share❤️
Owning an equine facility: the things no one talks about and how it affects your relationships.
Three years ago my husband and I decided to start a new adventure and purchase an equine facility, all set up to board, train and host all kinds of horse related activities. Fast forward to today.
When Heather asked me to put together a presentation on a topic of my choosing I really wanted to think about something that would hit home with people, something that took me by surprise and that maybe clients, friends, and fellow colleagues from the outside looking in couldn’t see…
Before purchasing our property I did the leg work of reaching out to friends and other facility owners with various questions regarding the day to day workings of a boarding stable, I got tons of great information about what to expect and how to prepare myself. Three years into this the one major thing I was not prepared for was how this job effects the relationships in my life…let me explain; how does a person who wants to be best friends with everyone find balance between client/friend? Trying to run a business and keep your head above water but still please and keep everyone happy? The never ending feeling of needing to please and do the absolute best for my clients and the horses in my care is an every minute of everyday job, and it is often never enough. From the outside looking in people see all the nice fluffy stuff, they see a yard full of happy horses, full bale of hay at their lips, nice full tank of water, they see peace. And thats perfect, that’s exactly what we want our clients to see. What they don’t see is me sitting in the house in tears wondering how I could have done better, because I just lost a client and a friend over a cut on their horse, or the people I thought were here to help me, that had the best interest of our business in mind, just left us high and dry. The first time I felt used, truly used…was the most sickening feeling of hurt. Chin up, put the armor on and remind myself that things happen for a reason and Brad and I are in this together. The amount of friends we have lost or become distant with was a shock to the system for sure, having people come down on us because we have to decline or cancel supper plans in the city because we have a horse on property not feeling well that we need to monitor, or its -40 and leaving a farm unattended in those temperatures is just not wise, but not everyone is understanding about these situations.
I’ve put up walls and stopped allowing people in so closely in an attempt to avoid being hurt, as a result I can have a yard full of cars and trailers, and arena full of people riding and enjoying their horses, people I genuinely care for and enjoy, but I can still feel absolutely alone. I guess where I’m going with this is I don’t want to feel alone anymore, we, as coaches, barn owners and trainers need a solid support system, because yes, I can absolutely call bestie and vent about my day, or a situation and get something off my chest, and she’s got my back, she’s bestie! She listens and ensures me that I’m doing a good job. And I might feel a bit better after that chat, but in the end what I really need is someone who can closely relate, someone who can share an experience and give me constructive advice on how either they handled it or how they would handle it differently in the future.
Now, hear me out, we have met some incredible people in this journey, people who have become friends that we can trust. People who, had we not taken the risk we wouldn’t have crossed paths with. So was it all worth it? Yes, absolutely, but does the struggle still remain that I feel like we lack a solid support system, yes.
Dani Ornawka, owner operator of Rain or Shine Equine
