White Feather Mobile Veterinarian

06/22/2025

Beans : March 30, 2012-June 15th ,2025

Nicknames :
Bea- Anne
Beaner-eener
Bean
Auntie Grumpy

Beans decided she wasn’t enjoying her time here on earth as much as usual. Her tumour was growing quickly towards the end. It doubled in size over 2 weeks. When cancer grows quickly , its chaos for the tissue growing. Some areas start dying because there is not enough blood supply. Then the tortuous blood vessels race to get to the new tissue. She was oozing blood if the tumour was rubbed such as when she ate. So I hand fed her. She was very diligent in cleaning the blood from her forearms but became distressed one day after a particularly bad oozing event. That is when I knew she was ready.

Although I knew this , I wanted the confirmation from an animal communicator. My mind was going through the quality of life scoring. She was eating, drinking , going for 1 hour dog walks with a waggy tail. She was excited to greet me. She followed me everywhere as usual. How can I say goodbye with her still enjoying some aspects of life? When the animal communicator confirmed she was ready I could switch my brain off and turn my heart on. The plan changed to buying roast chicken, calling family members, and getting on that bike for some bike rides— her favourite activity. Beans felt the weekend would be good to celebrate, and then to transition. I spent the weekend with her and slowed the world down. We would do our morning walk into the little forest by the pond. She laid in her favourite hole she had dug looking for squirrels. We told the forest she was leaving. We hunted for strawberries, watered the garden, and laid on the deck. I stroked her fur the way she liked it. Then we went on a bike ride each evening followed by some roast chicken. She had a loving visitor that came from PG . We told our special tree she was transitioning. The tree gently supporting us on our journeys.

I had a lot of compassion for all the people who have ever had to make this decision including those whom I have helped with my service. This was sooooooo hard. It was excruciatingly painful . There was always this sense with Beans that I knew her transition would devastate me. I’m still untangling what that is, but it was and is true. There was something so hurt within Beans. Did I share the same deep heartache that she did? And what would happen if she left? Would I be left to look at all of it?

I was so worried that Beans would be sad after Bells’ death. Indeed she was. Looking at photos, she started to grow the tumour a few months after Bells was in spirit. She was already preparing to leave. Although the tumour was identified to be highly aggressive, she lived with it for over 2 years and seemed to hold it at bay. I wanted her to stay and teach Koan and Tilly how to protect the chickens and property. She did just so and retired from her duties a few months ago . I deeply thank her for her willingness to stay despite losing her friend.

I continue to walk with grief, holding it’s hand , and learning from it. Sometimes I shake the hand loose and get angry. Sometimes I move like molasses and have no bearings. A drifter at sea with no course. On blessed moments I can see the whole event through my heart and have gratitude for it all. It’s strange to hold such happiness in one hand knowing that Beans and Bells are together. But then holding a crushed heart in the other hand.

Thank you for your friendship Bea-Anne. Thank you for your wide open throat chakra— yelping, growling, barking and groaning. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for your trust and love. I will miss you tremendously and love you whole-heartedly.

06/16/2025

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Grief and remembrance. Love and loss.
How do we keep our loved ones close once they die?
If your loved one was cremated by fire or by water, there are some really beautiful options for jewelry that incorporate cremated remains. David and I offer Wooden Memorial Jewelry; rings, pendants, talismans. Inlays of your beloved's ashes can be combined with hair or fur or a special stone or shell, you can choose different woods for borders or liners.
Why Wood? Because it's natural. It's sustainable. It's beautiful, and often because you or your loved one felt most at home in nature.
David is the pioneer of the bent wood ring and has been creating wooden rings for 20+ years.
The ring shown here was commissioned by a dear friend after the death of her partner.
This is sacred work. We go slowly and gently. If you think this might be something that would feel right to you, then please reach out, and let's have a conversation.
https://www.memorialrings.ca.
Email: [email protected]

06/04/2025

Beans’s Walk with cancer

Beans has had an oral tumour for over a year. As said in the last post, I removed it twice. The second time I removed it, it had a boney aspect making it impossible to remove completely. Because I sent away the tissues to the lab finding out it was a fibrosarcoma, I knew that jaw resection was the only way to ensure that it was fully removed. But she doesn’t want the jaw surgery.

How do I know this ? I just do. Sometimes we can hear what our friends are telling us. But being a human with doubting tendencies, I like to confirm with an animal communicator . I am practising my skill of listening to animals through Penelope Smith Courses and will be taking her third course offering certification. So I am getting better at hearing/feeling/sensing/hearing.

Bean’s is getting multiple joint supplements for her aging joints to help with pain. She is getting a mushroom mix to help boost her immune function to perhaps slow the tumours growth. She is getting CBD . CBD is used for pain relief, as an anti-inflammatory, appetite stimulant, to better her sleep quality, and the potential for anti-tumour properties. I like to ask the animal communicator if there is anything else that may help to guide my treatment protocol. Sometimes an animal doesn’t want a whole list of supplements and will only take certain things. If you don’t work with an animal communicator, your beloved friend will show you by not eating the supplement.

Bean’s tumour is a bit smaller than a gold ball and is located on the bottom jaw surrounding her K9 tooth as well as lower incisors . She is eating and drinking and goes for her 1 hour pooch walks everyday with a little tail wag. Her body condition is good and she still runs after squirrels. I have asked her to tell me when she has had enough.

I don’t know what that will look like. I know Beans is one to both be incredibly tough, but incredibly sensitive. When I first adopted her , she squealed in pain and I thought for sure she had broken something . But after the squeal, she walked away with no limp. She still shrieks if another dog bumps into her. But she also was attacked by a moose leaving a 12 inch gash across her chest and didn’t seem to mind. I placed a T-shirt on her and brought her to a Vet asap. She tore both of her ACL ligaments and did well recovery wise after the expensive surgeries. From my relationship with her I feel she will want assistance. Bells was really adamant that she wanted to die on her terms. But Beans feels like she doesn’t want to endure the withering away that occurs with a natural death.

I continue to check in with her and she continues to be very present about it reminding me that she doesn’t know when it will be, but that she will let me know. So we continue this journey together with me supporting her until she decides. And me supporting her transition when that moment happens.

I often look at the tumour with worry and she says - look into my eyes mom. I am here. I am not in the tumour. She has helped me to refocus in a consistent way. To look at her and call her beautiful — because she is. To look at her with appreciation instead of worry.

Once I knew that the tumour was going to be “her ticket out if here” she started to sleep in my bedroom with me. I was shocked and also really touched by that choice. She is showing me that she is not the lead dog protecting the property any longer. She has retired and allowed herself to be nearer to me. I will cherish the closeness she has gifted me with .

Once she is gone I will navigate the wilderness differently. She was always my guardian. She is an excellent bear dog. There was several times when I thought I saw Beans up ahead on the trail only to see Beans a few seconds after realizing she was chasing a Bear. She would tree the bear and would easily be called off of the situation. We would leave the bear as I would whisper a quiet “sorry”. A very quick scenario. In Haida Gwaii she held a bear in a frozen position , so when I came around the bend the Bear looked at me as if to say “help”. We went in the opposite direction and Beans left the Bear to be free of our presences. Again whispering “sorry to disturb” as we left. She would always show me the danger and once I was aware, she would back off. Like “Look what I found Mom!! “.

I had this thought today of the heart being a place for our special friends to lay in like a bed. Each animal occupying a position and shape within the heart that was unique. Bells would be on her back with her party legs straight up. Meashie would lay on her tummy with her body in a slight curl. Beans would be a laying with her head up and ears perked to her surroundings. Because their heart shape is different, we will grieve them all in a unique way.

Beans carries such wisdom and presence. And she connects to me in my deep and pained areas of the heart. The parts that feel unloved. The parts that have experienced trauma. And we sit in that area of the heart, with acceptance for it all.

06/04/2025

Beans

Beans has let me know that it is time to write about her !

She has been with me for the longest time I have ever had a dog! She has been through Chloe’s death, my divorce, my mother’s death, her best friend’s death - Bells, Meashie’s death, and the end of this current relationship. She has been through a lot ! She has always been my safety.

She came from the SPCA when she was 6 months old. I had seen her on her Spay day -though I was not the surgeon . I walked past her briefly stopping to look. A nondescript black dog. I watched her get walked out at the end of the day. That was it. She somehow drew me in because that weekend I went to the SPCA thinking that if she got along with Chloe, I would take her home. As we approached the outdoor run she greeted me excitedly and I let Chloe wander in her run. She growled at her nervously . But Chloe didn’t care, so I thought, neither do I .

Going from a Golden Retriever to Beans was an abrupt change. Chloe died from a sudden illness a couple of months after Beans came. Chloe was my sidekick and was always near me. Beans was aloof and seemingly hadn’t experienced relationship . Chloe slept beside me in the bedroom. Beans preferred to sleep outside of the room on her own. Beans had trust issues and didn’t seem to understand what being in a family was all about. When Chloe died , she came to me and put her head tucked onto my chest as I was crying. I had thought previously that she didn’t care. But she showed me real tenderness and stayed there for several minutes.

I attempted to treat her like Chloe. Took her to events with people and dogs. She gripped my legs in fear and aggressively barked . I hadn’t realized the extent of the trauma she must have experienced for she felt completely unsafe with other dogs. And this would be the rest of her life. I spent the first few years trying to make her fit a mold and the next years understanding her unique dog-ness. The things that made her Beans. I wasn’t allowed to brush her. She didn’t like sweeping and would run under the table shivering and barking in fear. My cookie cutter mold made by a golden retriever, did not fit this lass. She didn’t fetch, she didn’t bring me a toy when I got home. She didn’t follow me around the house. She would just happily lay somewhere by herself in the sun. She loved the dog walks and bike rides . She loved the bike rides so much that she would follow people on bikes to the bottom of fox mountain. She had to be incarcerated by the SPCA once for this infraction.

Once Chloe had left, I wondered if Beans was lonely given her aloof nature with us. My mother couldn’t stand the grief I was feeling for the loss of Chloe so she hurriedly found a golden doodle - Bells. I was worried that Beans wouldn’t like her as she hadn’t met one dog that she liked. They bonded immediately. Bells was a punk who didn’t take Beans’s threats seriously. Although she was only 12 weeks, she jumped into the ring baring teeth and wrestled with her like they were mates from way back. And the two shared such a beautiful path. I called them Yin and Yang for they were opposites in appearance and personality. But it was as if they breathed the same breath.

Bells died Dec 2022. And Beans has never found a mate since although she had a few options from our home pack. None would suffice .

Why am I writing all of this is because Beans is dying. Yes- we are all dying. But Beans has an oral aggressive tumour that will some day make her unable to eat. I removed it twice but she doesn’t want the next step of a partial jaw removal. She is 13 years old and has had a complete life. Her friend Bells is waiting in spirit. Although — probably Bells isn’t waiting. She is most likely partying somewhere on a beach.

Beans wanted to share some wisdom she taught me :

1. Not all dogs are alike and we can’t treat them like that.
2. Just because I am aloof, it doesn't mean I don’t care
3. You can have space in a relationships
4. Acceptance is key to understanding differences
5. Sometimes time and love can heal trauma, but sometimes it can’t

Beans still growls and barks at the family pack of dogs . Beans still growls and barks at the neighbours dogs. She is utterly Beans. And I love every part of her .

06/01/2025

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05/31/2025

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Join Rupert's Substack Here: https://rupertsheldrake.substack.comIn the remarkable phenomenon of “terminal lucidity”, people who have suffered from dementia ...

05/13/2025

If any of your sweet friends are getting the drug Librela . Here is a recent study reviewing adverse effects of the drug . Always good to investigate 🤓 🕵️‍♀️.

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ObjectivesTo conduct a specialist-led disproportionality analysis of musculoskeletal adverse event reports (MSAERs) in dogs treated with bedinvetmab (Librela...